Time Runs Both Ways AU CC
by Assilem-1
Summary: A future so unimaginable that there has to be a way to change it . . . Right?
1. Angel

**Title: Time Runs Both Ways **  
**Author**: Assilem_1 a.k.a. Melissa  
**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. All characters are borrowed.  
**Category: **AU CC Liz's POV  
**Rating: **PG-13 (At least for now)  
**Archiving:** Roswell Fanatics, The Boardello, and my site (.), all others please ask . . .  
**Disposition:** Max/Liz lover through and through (-hint :))

**Feedback: **Yes, please :)

**Summary: **The last discernible episode of the show in this fic is Heart of Mine, but no Hybrid Chronicles, so Sheriff Valenti still has his job. It takes place after Alex dies, but in a twist of fate, Max also dies. Of course the circumstances are way different than in Cry Your Name (Dreamer insurance offered for those who need it.)

"_This is the way the world ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper." – T. S. Elliot_

Chapter 1: Angel

Journal Entry 31 – July 13th 2002

_So, so much has happened since that fateful day on the ledge. At the time I felt it was an ending. But now I see I had only just begun._

_So, how did I get here?_

_The answer seems to be a very long one, but, instead of starting at the beginning, since I've already done that in the beginning of this journal, I thought I'd start at the end. Or what I thought was the end._

_And I can still remember it all so clearly . . . _

_I stood there, with the wind blowing past me, the darkness surrounding me and I could just imagine the ground rushing up to meet me as I stood on that ledge. And you know what I felt?_

_Calm._

_Yes, I, Elizabeth Claudia Parker, was contemplating suicide and the thought actually made sense. The funny thing was, with all that had happened, I somehow figured my big exit from this life would be just that. Big. Not that I imagined myself going out with guns blazing or anything crazy like that, I just thought it'd be major. Especially to me. But right then, my death just seemed like a minor thing._

_So why am I writing all this down now?_

_Well, for one thing, tomorrow is the day I stood on that ledge._

_Yes, I know, that makes no sense, but it's no less true._

_No one remembers any of this . . . Not Max and Alex dying, not the pain that followed, not even me trying to commit suicide._

_But that's ok._

_It's a burden I will happily shoulder alone if it means it's all undone._

_But back then, I'd stopped writing things down, stopped keeping track, stopped talking altogether. No one could hear me anyway, so it just became easier to stay quiet and see if anyone noticed. And you know what?_

_They didn't._

_Although, really I can't blame them for that because there was so much grief going around back then, there was hardly room for much else._

_But now I realize that in order to make sense of where I am now, I have to deal with where I was then. That dark place that I was buried in. Inside myself. And yes, I know some people will consider what I was about to do a cop-out. But they don't know how it felt. How the pain felt. How it took over so much so that there was nothing left of me. How I couldn't sleep without reliving that terrible day. Couldn't eat anything and successfully keep it down. Couldn't think without the memories rushing in._

_Oh yes, I remember what it was like. Remember the pain better than I'd like to admit actually, since some of the issues are still with me._

_So I retreated . . . from everyone . . . and everything. Losing Alex hurt, almost more than I could stand. But then to lose Max. It was like losing a part of myself. And I just didn't know how to do it alone anymore. How to keep going day to day like part of me wasn't missing. Like it was going to somehow magically be ok. Because it wasn't ok. __*I* wasn't ok. And I felt like I'd never be ok again._

_So I thought if I kept still and stayed quiet, maybe the pain would loosen it's hold on me._

_But the silence in my head was so deafening back then. And I'd open my mouth to scream only to discover I had no voice._

_But how could I scream?_

_I wasn't even there._

_I wasn't anywhere._

_I had ceased to exist . . . without even noticing._

_So death made sense to me after that._

_Of course, I didn't understand it at first. Why the people I love had to succumb to it. Why Max and Alex couldn't be with me then._

_I wailed and I fought and resisted the knowledge that they were gone, because I figured if I didn't believe it, it wouldn't be true. Yes, I know, 'Faulty Liz logic' Alex would call it, but he wasn't there and that wasn't the point. The point was that after that I understood . . . that it wasn't technically suicide because I was already gone. I had died that day when they did. I just didn't realize it at the time. I'd been walking around for weeks, an empty shell of myself. Just going through the motions, expecting that at some point something would happen to finally bring me back. But you know what?_

_Nothing ever did._

~.~.~.~

"Liz?" her father's voice drifted out to her from the open window of her bedroom. "Dinner's ready hon."

"I'll be there in a minute Dad" she responded as she closed her eyes for a moment. Then she reopened them, bookmarked her page, closed her journal and rose from her chair on the balcony. She wearily climbed back into her room and put her journal in it's new hiding place under a loose floor board in the closet. She then went to join her parents for dinner.

When dinner was over, she excused herself and headed to her room. But she didn't go back and retrieve her journal. Instead she found her mind traveling back to that fateful day and she relived it anew.

~.~.~.~

_ ~*Spend all your time waiting*~  
~*For that second chance*~_

Once again, the wind was blowing through her hair and she could see the ground below her so clearly . . .

_ ~*For a break that would make it okay*~  
_

She was still staring down at her soon-to-be destination . . . The place where only moments from now she would finally know the peace that she couldn't seem to find anywhere else.

_ ~*There's always some reason*~  
~*To feel not good enough*~_

Funny how it all seemed so complicated before and now it all seemed so simple.

_ ~*And it's hard at the end of the day*~_

She'd resisted for so long, trying to convince herself that there was a reason to go on. Deluded herself really because all along she knew . . . what she had to do. She'd always told him that without him she couldn't imagine living. But she felt she owed it to him to try . . .

~*_I need some distraction_*~_  
_

And as her mind flooded with thoughts of Max, suddenly the once inviting ground blurred as her tears began to flow again . . .

~*_Oh beautiful release_*~

She was so tired of crying . . . of mourning for what could have been . . . what _should_ have been . . .

~*_The memories seep from my veins_*~

If only she'd never changed things, she thought for probably the millionth time. But she couldn't help it. Whenever she thought about how things turned out, it inevitably lead to how they were the first time around . . . Before Future Max came and asked her to give up the world . . . her world. Neither of them could have known that this would happen. Couldn't have suspected that ending that fateful relationship would result in Max and Alex's deaths.

_'So what of the future now?'_ she wondered.

Fourteen years into the future seemed inconceivable considering how things were now. If being without Tess weakened them enough to lose, then being without Max meant that the battle would probably be over before it started.

So it was over for all of them now and everything she'd given up, everything she'd lost, was for nothing . . .

_ ~*Let me be empty*~  
_

It was all just too much she thought as her tears got the best of her and she began to sob. She crumbled to the ground then, as the weight of her grief crashed down around her. And yet she knew it would only get worse because every time she allowed herself to think of how bad things truly were, it lead to her remembering how it all came to be this way . . .

_ ~*Oh and weightless and maybe*~  
~*I'll find some peace tonight*~_

'_Not this time'_ she thought as she forced herself to stand. _'I won't relive that day again, I won't!'_ So she determinedly composed herself and pushed her grief down into the void it was used to occupying. And as her tears slowed she looked up, told Max she loved him for the final time in this life, and prepared to jump . . .

_ ~*In the arms of the angels*~  
_

And just as she began to take that first step off the building into nothingness, everything seemed to move in slow motion . . .

_ ~*Far away from here*~_

As one foot stepped off the ledge and she tipped forwards, the wind blew violently at her, unobstructed now by the building and she could see the tear that had just slipped down her cheek fall away, disappearing from sight . . .

_ ~*From this dark cold hotel room*~_

She smiled, knowing that she would soon join it. There was no comfort or solace left for her here, only this . . .

_ ~*And the endlessness that you fear*~_

She pushed forward, thrusting away from the building, resolute and more sure in this decision than any other, and closed her eyes, prepared . . . But just as she left the ledge altogether, in a violent wrench strong arms grabbed her and pulled her back.

_ ~*You are pulled from the wreckage*~  
~*of your silent reverie*~_

She gasped and then cried out as the person holding her backed up, dragging her with him. Away from what she considered her final peace of mind . . .

~*_You're in the arms of the angels_*~

So she fought him, wild now with grief. She clawed at him even as she begged him to let her go. But still he held on until she crumbled, her fighting dissolved into heartwrenching sobs. It was only then that the stranger turned her and held her while she wept. After a few moments she pulled away, tired, _so tired_, and looked up into familiar eyes.

"Michael?"

~*_May you find some comfort here _*~

**tbc . . .**


	2. Trying to find my way

**Chapter 2: Trying to find my way**

'_How did I get here?'_ she wondered not for the first time as she and Michael were sitting in Maria's beat up Jetta outside of the building she had just tried to commit suicide in. Everything had seemed so simple just moments ago. She knew she was leaving people behind. She figured that they would mourn her, but they would eventually let her go.

_They had to._

Everyone had been too wrapped up in their own grief to notice anyone else around them and it seemed like everyone else had someone to lean on. Isabel had turned to Kyle and Maria was so broken that Michael seemed to be the only person who could reach her.

_So why was he here now?_

"Michael, what are you doing here?" she finally asked.

When he continued to stare straight ahead with both hands on the steering wheel, she huddled into herself. "Why couldn't you just leave me alone?"

And that's when he did turn to her and looking into his eyes, she realized that he was angry.

"Leave you alone?" Michael started quietly, and then began to yell. "Leave you alone?! So that you could kill yourself?! What the hell were you thinking? How could you do that to yourself? To us? To all of us who have already lost so much? To Maria! How could you do that to your best friend Maria? Who can barely wake up each morning without crying so hard I think she's gonna split apart. How could you even _think_ this was a good solution to your problems?"

And this suddenly made Liz angry, which, she discovered, was a hell of a better emotion to deal with than grief. "Do this to _you?_ To all of _you?_ What about me? I know that you and Isabel lost a brother, Maria lost a best friend, but I lost a soul mate _and_ a best friend! What about how I've been feeling? What about -" she gasped "-what about _me_?" She wiped the tears away in frustration. "I can't, sometimes I can't breathe it hurts so bad" she breathed out, clawing at her chest as if she could dig the grief out. She exhaled tiredly. "Michael, I know you don't get it. You _can't._ Just, imagine what it would feel like to lose Maria, and then add losing Isabel to that and then maybe, _maybe, _ you can talk to me about pain."

She was crying again in earnest now, her view of Michael nearly obscured by her tears.

At that, all the fight seemed to go out of Michael and he just collapsed against the steering wheel. And it was only by the slight shaking of his shoulders that Liz could tell he was crying also. Michael was the toughest of them all and she had somehow managed to make him cry. It was all just too much and Liz launched herself at Michael as her crying increased and his continued in earnest.

Slowly, slowly, they broke apart as their crying decreased and as it subsided altogether, Michael gave her a half-smile that didn't quite reach his eyes and said "Now if you tell anyone that I cried on your shoulder, I will have to kill you." But instead of lightening the mood like he originally thought it would, Liz just turned to look out the window at the building they had just left.

At that, Michael's façade fell and he turned to face her fully. "Liz, I know . . . I know we haven't ever been close and . . . and I'm probably the last person you'd pick to talk to, but you were about to . . ." and he let the rest of the sentence trail off.

Liz sighed heavily as she realized that she had been putting off this moment when they would have to have this conversation, so instead of addressing his comment, she repeated the question she'd asked earlier. "What are you doing here? How did you know to come here? I purposefully picked this building for it's isolation and yet . . ."

Michael turned to face forward again as he debated what to say. Should he tell her the truth? He wasn't sure if he should because it could be a little more than she could handle right now. She was just about to commit suicide. Didn't that suggest that kid gloves were necessary? Or was this a time for tough love? He grumbled quietly to himself, wishing Maria was here. She'd know what to do. He never was any good at this touchy-feely crap and the crying fit he'd just had was already more emotion than he showed in a lifetime. But since Maria hadn't been herself lately, she hadn't noticed that her friend was slipping into a black pit of despair. So that just left him. And the odd thing was discovering that he actually cared about Liz. Because before all this happened, he had only thought of her as a thorn in his side, then she was just 'Max's girlfriend' and 'Maria's best friend' and then she was 'the-girl-who-broke-Max's-heart.' He had never taken the time to notice that somewhere in between all their inner-group dramas and intermittent brushes with death, the group had become like family to him . . . And that included Liz, Alex, Kyle and even Valenti. Even though, he'd never taken more than a passing interest in any of their well-being. Until this morning that is . . .

_ ~*Of all the things I've believed in*~  
~*I just want to get it over with*~_

Michael was so absorbed in his thoughts that he didn't realize that he'd taken too long to answer the question and Liz, left alone with her thoughts, found herself being called back to that ledge . . . and it terrified her.

_ ~*Tears form behind my eyes*~  
~*But I do not cry*~_

She didn't realize until she was pulled back from it, how much of herself she had really lost in the time that had passed since Max and Alex had died. She had faded away and no one had noticed. Not even her. But what else could she do? The pain was overwhelming. It was gut-wrenching. It was like nothing she had ever experienced. And it was _all the time._

_ ~*Counting the days that pass me by*~_

And then top that off with the fact that it wasn't getting better. _Wasn't it supposed to get better?_ It seemed that she'd heard somewhere that times heals all wounds but how much time?

_ ~*I've been searching deep down in my soul*~  
~*Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old*~_

Time didn't seem to be her friend these days. Time had brought her to that ledge. Well, ok, that wasn't exactly true. _Pain_ had brought her to that ledge. But time just kept going. Days slipped into weeks, weeks slipped into months, and nothing changed.

_ ~*It feels like I'm starting all over again*~  
~*The last three years were just pretend*~_

Sometimes she'd watch the clock change from minutes to hours, hoping if she watched, something important would happen. A moment of clarity.

_ ~*And I said*~  
~*Goodbye to you*~  
~*Goodbye to everything that I knew*~_

But the only moment of clarity she'd had was when she accepted what she had to do and had gone to that ledge . . .

_ ~*You were the one I loved*~  
~*The one thing that I tried to hold on to . . . *~_

Michael cleared his throat and Liz turned to him and the pain he saw in her eyes nearly took his breath away. How did they miss that? How could anyone have missed that? But even as he watched, her gaze shifted and took on the haunted, blank look that he realized he had gotten used to not seeing.

"Um, I kinda sensed you" Michael stated.

"Sensed me?" Liz balked. "What the hell does _that _ mean?!?"

"Well, ok, do you remember this morning when I was coming out of the breakroom and you were walking in and we collided?" as Liz nodded mutely, he continued "Well, when I reached out to steady you, something just happened and suddenly I could feel it . . . um, your pain, that is. It was like this living, breathing, _thing_ that nearly knocked me over. But you just kept going. Well, ever since then I've had this dim sense of you, where you are, h-how you're feeling and your emotions were screaming to me a little while ago, so I came. It wasn't until I got here that I realized what you were about to do and . . ." He trailed off not knowing what else he should say.

"It was the loss of our connection . . ."

Liz spoke so softly Michael wasn't even sure she'd actually spoken.

"What?"

"Nobody ever knew it and we never even really talked about it with each other. But after Max healed me, there was this, I don't know, this part of me that always had a sense of him . . . He was like this quiet presence in my mind . . . And silent source of comfort. But the day he . . ." she stumbled over the words before continuing. "The day he and Alex died, it's like someone ripped out part of me and left this . . . this _absence _ in it's place. And it's just too much . . . I lost Alex, I lost Max, and in the end, I lost myself . . . I lost a part of me that I'll never get back . . . I gave it a go. I really did. But honestly Michael, I'm just not strong enough for this."

And she once again turned her gaze back to the building.

"Liz, I know this is hard. It's hard for all of us. But listen to me . . ."

Liz continued to gaze at the building, so Michael gripped her shoulders and she turned, finally, to meet his eyes.

"Liz, listen . . . I don't have any easy answers for how to get through this. I'm just taking it day by day myself. And it's hard . . . It's unbelievably hard to try to adjust to losing people you care about. People that deserved to live _long_ and _happy_ lives . . ."

At this Michael's voice broke a little. He took a deep breath and continued.

"I won't pretend to understand what you're going through because as you stated earlier I _can't_ know. I do understand that it's different for you. But Liz, you have to find a way to get through it. Think of what Max and Alex would want for you. Would they want you to give up?"

She exhaled shakily, then shook her head.

"And if the roles were reversed, would you want _them_ to give up?"

Again she shook her head.

"Well then you've got to keep trying Liz. Just take it day by day. Hell, take it minute by minute if you have to. But _keep going on._ I can't guarantee it'll get easier, because they'll still be gone, but it can't get much worse. But one thing I want you to remember from now on is you're not alone. I know everyone's been tied up in their own grief, but I'm here now Liz and I'm not going anywhere."

She just nodded at him dully and then looked down at her hands folded in her lap.

"So, I have to ask . . . Are you ok? Do you think you can do this?" Michael gently asked her.

"I think I can try" she responded softly.

"Well I guess that's all any of us can do, huh?" he said as he started the car. "But for the record, if you feel it all getting too hard, just call me, ok?"

She again spoke softly, but he heard a very quiet "Ok."

During the drive home, they were both silent and introspective. Somehow it managed to be a comfortable silence despite the circumstances.

When they arrived outside of the Crashdown, Michael pulled around back, assuming correctly that the balcony was what Liz had used to sneak out since it was now 2 in the morning.

"Try to get some rest now Liz" he said to her softly as she began opening the car door.

"I'll try" she answered him and got ready to leave the car. But just as she was about to get out, she suddenly turned and gave him a tentative hug. He heard a soft "Thank you" and then she was gone, climbing up the stairs of the ladder to her balcony.

"Good night Lizzie" he said softly as he put the car in gear and backed out of the alleyway.

~.~.~.~

_Lyrics from "Goodbye to you" by Michelle Branch_


	3. Darkest Hour

_**Warning:**__ High angst factor for next two chapters (as if it hasn't been high so far, right?)_

**Chapter 3: Darkest Hour**

Liz climbed in her bedroom window quietly, trying not to make any noise to alert her parents to the fact that she was sneaking in. Although, considering how many times she'd done this and not gotten caught, it was becoming obvious that no less than an earthquake would awaken those two, but it was the last thing she needed tonight, so she moved quietly.

She purposefully turned her mind off to the events of the day as she went about her nightly routine. But after switching off the light to the bathroom and returning to her bedroom, the thoughts she had been pushing to the back of her mind began slowly creeping forward again. She stared at her bed, but then grabbed the extra blanket folded at the foot of it and went out to her balcony to lie in the lounge chair she spent more time in nowadays.

She sat and gazed at the stars and tried to shut her mind off. When that didn't work and her thoughts began to press down on her, she gave in and let grief have her for awhile because even though Michael had made her question her methods, it was still no easier to be here.

Max and Alex were still _gone _. . .

When she came back to herself, her face felt swollen, the collar of her nightgown was soaked and her throat felt scraped raw . . . Contrary to theory, crying didn't help with this grief. It didn't ease the load, didn't lighten it. She inhaled shakily. It didn't make it easier to _breathe_. . . She lay back tiredly and recognized that this time something _was _different . . . Michael had offered to help. He was looking out for her. He had tried to _save _her . . . She owed him something for that, if nothing else . . .

She chewed thoughtfully on her bottom lip then sighed, feeling the wind moving softly past her face. Her eyelids began to droop and against her will, she felt herself drifting off; which made sense because, truth be told, she hadn't slept in over a week: her own personal solution to the nightmare problem . . .

With the stars her only witness, she slept fitfully for a while, but then the terrible nightmare started . . . It always began so innocently. As that day had been. There was no hint of how badly it would end . . .

~.~ ~.~.~

_She was on her way over to Alex's house to study for an English lit exam they were going to be given the next day. Alex had been having trouble with the material, so she'd volunteered to help him. So she walked . . . humming a little tune along the way._

_She was having one of her more hopeful days. One of those days where the lost future she was supposed to have with Max wasn't weighing her down so much._

_When she arrived at Alex's house, she knocked and waited the requisite 10 seconds before twisting the handle; they always kept the door unlocked. She started up the stairs to Alex's room, calling out "Alex, I'm coming up the stairs! So if you're in any state of undress, I suggest you cover up immediately because I love you, but I don't wanna see your . . ."_

_Her voice trailed off as she reached Alex's room and took in the scene unfolding in front of her. She blinked, sure she was hallucinating, but when she looked again, the scene was still the same. Alex was standing in his bedroom with a gun ('where did he get a gun?!') and he had it trained on Tess who was standing just inside the door with a notebook in her hand._

_Tess turned to look at Liz and Liz's breath caught. Tess's eyes were devoid of all human emotion. Liz had never seen her look more foreign; more *alien.* Then her eyes flashed at Liz as some of her annoyance reflected in them. With exaggerated friendliness, Tess said in a deceptively soft tone "Alex, you don't want to do this. Look, your friend Liz is here. Everything is ok now. It's ok now, isn't it?" Hidden in that last sentence was something that almost sounded like a threat Liz thought. Again, what had she walked in on?! But before she could ask, Alex started yelling and waving the gun at Tess._

"_No everything is *not* ok! You did this to me! __You mindwarped me for two months while I decoded that alien book for you and now there's nothing left for you to mindwarp. You destroyed my mind! How could you do this to me?"_

'_Whuh?' is all Liz's brain could come up with because right then it seemed that the world had gone mad. This just wasn't making any sense._

_She expected Tess to say as much to Alex, but Tess didn't respond. She just stood there; an intent frown on her face as the gun in Alex's hand wavered, almost lowering. But Alex shook his head violently, shakily raising the gun again and screamed at Tess. "S-stop it! Just stop! Get out of my head!" He unclenched one hand from the gun to hold the side of his head in obvious pain._

_Tess still didn't say a word, but Liz frowned. "Alex, what are you doing? Tess, what the hell are you doing something to Alex?! What is going on!"_

_No one responded and the scene didn't change. It was as if Liz hadn't spoken except Tess's glance flicked to Liz, then back to Alex, a line appearing between her brows and then __the gun Alex was holding started wavering as he shakily turned it around so that it was pointing at his own chest. And the expression on his face! . . . He looked utterly terrified. Liz wanted to run to him and yank the gun away, but before she could, his finger located the trigger and he pulled it . . . Liz stood frozen in shock as Tess fled in her peripheral vision. The sound of the front door slamming closed seemed to release Liz and she stumbled trying to get to Alex, her eyes seeing what her brain refused to comprehend . . . Blood . . . Blood everywhere. And Alex was in the center of it, splayed out on the carpet, unmoving . . ._

_Far off she heard sobbing that must have come from her as she crossed the room and dropped down beside him._

_His eyes were closed._

_"Alex!" she yelled. Her own voice hit her ears like they were wrapped in cotton, muffled. "Alex, please wake up!" She grabbed him by the shoulders and his body shook. She blinked but realized that it was only because *she* was shaking. She was shaking and sobbing and all she wanted was for him to wake up . . . Her hands shifted to his neck, no pulse, and her eyes then tracked to the source of the blood and she dazedly placed both hands there to stop the bleeding, sobs jolting her body so much she had to press down to stay where she was sitting. "God, Alex, please . . . Please . . . "_

_Her eyes flitted frantically around the room until they came to rest on the phone on Alex's nightstand. She swallowed a sob and while holding one hand over Alex's wound, she manipulated her backpack off her shoulder, opened the flap and pulled out her cell phone._

_(The bloody handprints she was leaving on everything wouldn't be noticed till 2 days later.)_

_She called Max using speed dial and held in her sobs, tears nearly blinding, as the phone rang, once, twice, three times and then_

_"Hello?" Max answered breathless._

_Her words came out in sobs. "Max . . . you have to come . . . Alex was shot . . . Tess shot . . . Tess made Alex shoot . . ." and then she looked down at Alex and herself._

_"B-bl-blood Max, there's b-blood everywhere . . . He doesn't . . . Alex doesn't . . . there's no pulse Max . . . M-M-M-Max you have to come now!"_

_"Liz?" Max asked. "What? What happened? . . . Where . . . Where are you?"_

_"Alex's room . . . Max you have to come now!. . ." She began rocking back and forth, humming._

_"Ok, Liz, just, are you ok? Were you shot? Is Alex . . . Is Alex . . ." Max couldn't even bring himself to ask the question. Liz sounded terrified._

_"Max! You have to come now Max!"_

_"Ok, ok, I'm on my way . . . Just . . . I'm gonna call Valenti too, maybe he can help control the neighbors or whoever may have heard something . . ." he trailed off._

_"Uhm hmm" Liz hummed and let the phone fall, not even bothering to hang up._

_She sat there, with her hand covering Alex's wound and rocking back and forth until Max got there._

_She heard the downstairs door open but she didn't move. She didn't want to leave Alex._

_And that was the scene that greeted Max when he entered Alex's bedroom._

_Liz looked up at him and he froze for a second, caught in the sorrow of her gaze. Then she blinked and the whole picture hit him: Alex laying on the floor with a gaping hole in his chest that Liz was holding her hand over. She was shaking uncontrollably, with tears streaming down her face and she was swaying slightly. She didn't even seem to be aware she was doing it._

_And the blood . . . there was blood everywhere._

_"M-Max, you have to save him" Liz said brokenly._

_The amount of blood loss and the fact that Alex's chest didn't seem to be rising and falling with his breath told Max that it was already too late, but he had to try. So he knelt next to Liz, gently lifted her hand from Alex's chest and placed it on her lap. Then he placed his hand over Alex's wound and closed his eyes to concentrate._

_Liz watched him hopefully; sure that he could fix Alex and everything would be ok again._

_Nothing happened._

_After a few minutes, Max deflated and opened his eyes. The hopefulness in Liz's gaze caused an almost physical ache in his chest._

_"It's too late" Max whispered. "He's gone Liz . . . I can't heal him."_

_"No!" Liz cried. "Nooooooooo" she moaned. She then wrapped her arms around herself and began rocking back and forth again._

_And Max watched as her eyes slowly glazed over and he knew she was going into shock._

_"Liz!" Max cried as he suddenly realized that she could've been shot too. There was so much blood he'd assumed all of it had been Alex's, but what if it wasn't?_

_"Liz, are you hurt? Did you get shot too?" At that he tried to pry her fingers away from her tiny frame to inspect for himself._

_"No!" she cried pulling away from him. "I'm not hurt . . . j-just Alex . . . just fix Alex!" and she turned her gaze back to Alex and began crying in earnest._

_Max was about to reach for her again when he heard the front door open and Valenti called from the foyer._

_"Up here Sheriff" Max called as he rose from his position, but still kept a trained eye on Liz, who hadn't moved or even acknowledged the Sheriff when he called to them._

_The Sheriff entered Alex's room and stopped in shock. Max stepped over to him and began repeating what he'd told him over the phone. Somehow Alex had been shot and Tess was involved. And then he prepared to tell the Sheriff what he'd probably already guessed. "I can't save him Sheriff . . . He was already gone when I got here . . . But Liz . . ." he trailed off, not knowing what to say about Liz as he turned back to gaze at her._

_The Sheriff walked over to her and said coaxingly "Liz?"_

_"Hmm" she answered almost absently as she sat gazing at Alex._

_"Liz, honey, what happened here?"_

_Liz turned to him and he was immediately disconcerted by the blank look in her eyes. Ever since Liz was a little girl, she'd always seemed to wear her emotions on her sleeve, never able to keep from letting people know how she was feeling. This expression almost seemed foreign on her face._

_She slowly began to speak as she turned her gaze back to Alex._

_"T-Tess was here when I g-got here and her and Alex were arguing and he had a g-g-gun pointed at her . . . He was saying that she mindwarped him for m-months to decipher some alien book and she'd destroyed his m-mind . . ."_

_At this Liz began chewing on her lip as she trailed off, as if she'd forgotten she'd even been speaking._

_"What happened next Liz?" Sheriff Valenti gently prompted her._

_Liz looked up at him blankly for a moment, then refocused on Alex._

_"T-Tess looked really angry and then she looked like she was concentrating and then the . . . the g-gun Alex was holding . . . he turned . . . he turned it around in his hands till it was pointing at his chest b-but he looked like he didn't understand w-what was happening because she was m-making him do it! . . . Then he p-p-p-pulled the tr-trigger . . ."_

_As she was speaking, the blank look dissolved into grief-stricken, sobs overtaking her frame and Valenti scrambled over to comfort her, regretting that he'd slipped into Sheriff mode and forced her to recount the story while they were still in the room with Alex (Alex!) . . ._

_He turned to look at Max, who had been standing by the door, but Max was already gone._

_He heard feet thudding down the stairs and he could just imagine that Max was going after Tess._

_He turned back to Liz, but she was already pulling out of his arms and rocking again, blank look returned. He shook his head but got up to call the station and report that there'd been a suicide, since that was the only way to explain what had happened._

_So Liz sat there. She realized that if she just looked at his face, Alex looked like he was simply sleeping. After some amount of time had passed, Alex's room was suddenly full of people. She blinked at them, ignoring their questions until Valenti came back and led her into the next room. She let him guide her to wherever he thought she should be even though she wanted to stay with Alex. But she knew Alex was already gone from that room, even though his body remained. In this other room, they came and asked her questions, but she didn't really understand the words and could barely see their faces. Everything was just so blurry. Someone came and took her pulse and her blood pressure and wrapped a blanket around her, but eventually they left her alone. She was dimly aware of the people around her, but her mind had stopped trying to process everything that was going on._

_She was swimming in the nothingness of it all when it happened._

_All of a sudden, her breath seized and her chest felt like it was on fire. For a moment she couldn't grasp what was happening. And then the fog cleared._

_Max!_

_Something was happening to Max! And then she could hear him in her mind. 'I'm sorry Liz . . . I love you . . . '_

_Then he was gone._

_"Max!" she screamed. "Don't leave me!"_

_But she knew he wasn't there anymore . . . He wasn't anywhere anymore . . ._

_Several cops rushed into the room, but they all parted for Valenti since they had no idea what was going on. Valenti took one look at Liz's face and the fact that she was chanting Max's name over and over again and ordered everyone out of the room._

_After he had closed the door securely, he stepped over to her and crouched down. She had curled into a tight ball on the bed, sobbing Max's name brokenly._

_"What about Max, Liz?" he prompted her gently._

_Liz turned her gaze to him and the only way Valenti could think to describe her was broken . . . she simply looked broken._

_"Max is dead" she whispered. "He's dead."_

_And saying it aloud suddenly made it real . . . Too real . . . She began to sob in earnest; gut-wrenching sobs that shook her whole frame. She cried because Max was gone. She cried because Alex was too. She cried because she suddenly felt so lost. And finally, she cried because she was so hurt about Max that she didn't have enough room to hurt for Alex._

_Valenti didn't know what to do so he let her cry. He didn't really understand how she knew about Max, but now wasn't the time to try to dispute her claim._

_Liz felt like she cried for hours and didn't stop until she had nothing else left._

_That's when she turned inward and cried on the inside._

_When Liz's tears had slowed, Valenti felt that she was ok enough to move, so he led her from the room, explaining to his deputy that he was taking her home._

_Liz didn't recall leaving Alex's house or even getting into Valenti's truck and the drive home was just a blur. She blinked and they were suddenly parked around the back of the Crashdown. So she got out and Valenti followed. She wasn't exactly sure why he followed her inside, but she was beyond caring at that point._

_As she walked in, Maria was just coming into the breakroom. Maria took one look at Liz's face, her bloody clothing and Valenti's somber expression and she screamed in terror._

_At that Michael, Isabel and Kyle rushed in. When they too took note of Liz's clothes, the 3 of them paled visibly as Valenti stated after a heartbeat_

_"There's been an incident . . . Alex is dead . . ."_


	4. Everything's not alright

**Chapter 4: Everything's not alright**

_Maria began to sob immediately and Michael hastily moved to her side as she nearly collapsed. Kyle did the same for Isabel as she swayed a little on her feet as the tears began to flow._

_Valenti just continued to look somber as he glanced at Liz to see how she was holding up. But Liz still seemed to be trapped inside her mind, barely aware of her surroundings, much less the grief of those around her._

_"What happened?" Michael asked harshly. "And where the hell is Max? He was supposed to meet us here over an hour ago" he said angrily._

_"Right now I don't know if that's our biggest concern . . ." Valenti started off as he glanced at Liz again. "There may be some issue of Max being hurt as well, based on what Liz has said."_

_At that Liz spoke very softly and addressed the room._

_"Max is dead" she stated._

_And then the world went black as she passed out._

~.~.~.~

Liz slowly awoke from the dream; tear-streaked and so very, very tired . . . There was no rest from her grief after all. It just went on and on and on . . .

There were worse things though . . . Sometimes she awoke from her memories screaming, throat hoarse, worried faces of her parents surrounding her.

Sometimes her pillow was so wet when she woke, she wondered if it was actually possible to drown in ones' tears . . .

Although sometimes the nightmares were worse . . .

Sometimes in her dreams, all of them died that day, one by one, until she was the only one left.

Then, other times she wrestled with Alex for the gun and she shot him instead.

But the worst of the nightmares was the one where she was forced to watch Tess kill Alex and then kill Max right in front of her.

And it was so vivid, since they had pieced together what had happened to Max after he left Alex's house.

Apparently he'd tracked Tess to the pod chamber, although they never could figure out how she managed to overpower him, but they found Max lying on the floor of the pod chamber with a silver handprint burned into his chest.

And oh yeah, the granolith was gone.

That book Alex had decoded for Tess must have contained instructions telling her how to use the granolith to go home because that's apparently what she tried to do after she killed Max.

Alex had a proper burial 4 days later, but Max's body was laid to rest in the desert outside the pod chamber that same day, because there was no way they could go to the authorities with any of what had happened.

A few days later, Michael discovered the granolith a few miles west of the pod chamber. Apparently Tess had gotten it to take off, but it crashed soon after. They never did find out why but they found Tess dead inside. No one in the group took pleasure in that fact though, because they had simply lost too much.

Along with finding Tess, they also discovered the book that Alex had translated for her. So they finally had the answers they had been searching for. But no one rejoiced in this information, because the cost for gaining it had been too high.

With much difficulty, they got the granolith back into the pod chamber and reformed the wall around it. They buried Tess not far from where they recovered the granolith.

So the running story that the group came up with to cover Max's disappearance was that he had decided to depart Roswell for parts unknown soon after learning of Alex's death. Isabel even packed up some of his stuff and left a note typed on his computer to make it believable.

They never bothered making up a cover story for Tess though. It simply hurt too much to think about her.

But once the rumor mill got hold of Max's story, it got twisted and turned around and became that Max and Tess departed together for parts unknown . . . since they'd disappeared at the same time and they had been kind of cozy before that.

This wouldn't have been such a hard rumor for the group to hear if it wasn't such a perversion of what had actually happened.

But everyone continued on, coping in their own ways.

~.~.~.~.~

Liz lay there as her crying subsided and wondered why she did this to herself. Why she subjected herself to that nightmare, night after night, as if experiencing it the first time wasn't terrible enough . . . Or, as if the pain she felt during every waking moment somehow didn't earn her the right to a decent night's sleep . . .

'But one day at a time, right?' she thought as she just then noticed that it was daylight out.

Just as she was about to rise and go inside, Michael's head suddenly appeared as he climbed the final steps of the ladder to her balcony.

"Hey" he said before he even set eyes on Liz, apparently knowing he would find her curled up in her lounge chair. He stopped at the top, arms crossed over the top of the ladder.

" 'Morning" Liz said, not really surprised to see him so early. Very few things surprised her anymore. Still she found herself averting her face from his prying eyes, but Michael took note of her tear-streaked countenance and red eyes in silence. He didn't tell her that he'd felt her grief all the way across town and that was what had brought him here. Instead he announced "Ok, so you'd better get dressed. I definitely need breakfast if I'm gonna be up this early and you might as well join me."

Knowing Michael was just there to check up on her, she decided to take the path of least resistance and join him for breakfast instead of getting into a discussion over why she wasn't particularly hungry.

"Ok. Just head downstairs and I'll be there in a few minutes."

He nodded and made his way back down the ladder.

Liz headed back inside and was in the midst of showering when the flashback hit. The shower she'd taken after Alex died . . . She remembered looking down, watching his blood swirl down the drain, then nothing . . . It hit her out of nowhere and stole her breath . . . Gasping, she slid to the floor of the tub, hands clutching at her chest and bawled like a baby, not even caring if the shower muffled her cries, not caring at all . . .

It was awhile before she was able to leave the tub . . .

Downstairs, Michael knew he couldn't help her with this one, so he stayed in his seat. He just ordered a big breakfast for her and waited.

Feeling numb, Liz went about the rest of her morning routine. She brushed her teeth and washed her face and pressed a warm cloth against her eyes unsuccessfully trying to rid them of their puffiness. She then grabbed a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and put her hair into a ponytail. Her face settled into her mask of blankness as she headed downstairs to face the world . . . when all she really wanted to do was just retreat from it.

And now she had to go and sit with Michael and try to allay his fears of her suicidal tendencies.

If she didn't think it would make her cry, she'd laugh.

Truth be told, she was so far from hungry she didn't even want to look at food. But she'd promised Michael she'd eat breakfast with him, so that's what she'd do.

Maybe she could just get away with some toast and coffee. After all, Michael wasn't her parents, who fussed over what she ate like eating would somehow make her ok. She was just so sick of people and the way they acted around her, as if treating her like an invalid somehow might make the pain less. She knew that they were just concerned about her, but it was just so hard holding it together just to make everyone else feel better.

And so she walked through the breakroom and into the Crashdown feeling just a little annoyed. She made her way over to Michael and noted he must have already ordered since there were 2 plates sitting on the table.

He had already started to dig in and was putting tabasco sauce on everything, as usual.

Liz felt that pang that she always felt when she one of them did this because it always reminded her of Max, but she pushed it away as she slid into the booth across from him. And it was only when she looked down at her plate that she realized that Michael had ordered pancakes, scrambled eggs, sausage and orange juice for her.

"Michael, I can't possibly eat all of this." She gestured at her plate in frustration.

Michael, who had expected an argument, just continued to eat then looked across at her. "You need a good breakfast, I'm treating, so eat up."

Folding her arms defensively across her chest, Liz replied "So fine, I'll pay for my own breakfast and then it won't matter if I eat it."

"Hasn't anyone ever told you about the wasting of food and the starving kids in China thing?" Michael asked with his mouth full, obviously enjoying his breakfast.

"Yeah, lots of times and if I were in China, I'd give them my plate, but since I'm not, I'm just gonna have some toast and coffee" Liz countered.

"Look" Michael said in a softer tone "the coffee's on its way and this food is already here. How about you just eat what you can and we'll go from there, ok?"

Her shoulders drooped and a moment later she nodded and muttered "ok" as she pulled the offending plate closer.

They ate in silence and neither noticed when Isabel and Kyle entered a little while later. Isabel threw a puzzled look in their direction and after a moment's pause, dragged Kyle with her over to their table.

"What's up guys?" she asked, looking from one to the other. In all the time she'd known them, she'd never seen these two voluntarily sit down and eat a meal together. Yet here they were.

"Not much" Michael replied as Liz said "Hey Isabel. Hey Kyle."

Kyle nodded at them.

Meanwhile Michael was so busy scarfing down food he didn't even notice that Isabel and Kyle were still standing there awkwardly.

Liz, after throwing an annoyed look at Michael, slid over in the booth and patted the seat next to her. "You guys should join us."

"Cool" Kyle answered before Isabel could think of a nice way to decline the invitation.

Isabel threw Kyle a look because she usually avoided everyone else from their group because it was just too painful and just reminded her of its absent members. Even she and Michael had grown apart as he spent more time with Maria trying to comfort her. Which, she realized, left no one for Liz to lean on. And really, Liz probably needed comfort most of all.

And now that Isabel was taking a really good look at Liz Parker, she saw that she didn't look good. Liz looked like she had lost weight, her eyes were puffy and had dark circles under them and she seemed to be pushing her food around on her plate rather than eating it. Initially, Isabel had no idea why she felt compelled to walk over to their table, but looking at her now, she saw that something about Liz practically screamed that she needed help. The only question was how had she not noticed for so long?

Kyle slid into the booth next to Liz and after a second Isabel slid in next to Michael, who she had to push over a little to make room.

"Umph" Michael grunted as her elbow collided with his rib cage.

"What are you doing Iz?" Michael asked startled as some of the food he was eating flew at her.

"Say it, don't spray it Michael!" she replied, disgustedly wiping food off the front of her shirt.

Liz laughed at the picture the two of them made; Michael looking put out because he had to stop eating to slide over and Isabel looking almost sick that food that had just been in Michael's mouth was now on her shirt.

Everyone looked over at Liz, surprised. They hadn't heard anything even resembling laughter from Liz in a long time.

Feeling suddenly self-conscious, Liz's smile flickered out as she turned her attention back to her plate.

Kyle spoke up, partially to take the spotlight off of Liz but mostly because he was _starving_. "You know Parker, if you're just going to play with that food, I'd be happy to take it off your hands."

"Really?" Liz asked hopefully.

Michael opened his mouth to protest, but swallowed it at the pleading look Liz shot him.

"Sure, anything to help a friend" Kyle replied with a grin.

At that, Liz dropped her fork and happily pushed the plate over to Kyle.

"Well" Isabel stated "Unlike greedy boy over there, I'd like my own plate of food, thank you, so I'm gonna order something."

At that she signaled to a waitress who was already headed over with coffee and mugs who promptly took Isabel's order.

Isabel sighed as she took her first sip of coffee.

Michael, finally finished with his breakfast, contentedly pushed his plate away and focused on the coffee in front of him.

Isabel spoke up first, since Kyle was busy devouring Liz's leftovers like he hadn't eaten in days. 'What is with men and food this morning?' she wondered, disgustedly tearing her eyes away from Kyle.

"So where's Maria? Is she working this morning?" Isabel addressed both Liz and Michael.

"No" Michael answered, sitting back. "She and Amy left for some mother/daughter bonding trip yesterday. They'll be back in a week."

Liz looked at him surprised, realizing that Maria had mentioned something about it to her Dad, but she hadn't been paying much attention at the time. She and Maria barely talked to each other anymore. Since they had been the two closest people to Alex, it was just too painful spending time together because the memories of the three of them always rushed in. But she really did miss Maria, she realized now that she was allowing herself to admit it. Not the Maria that she'd been since that terrible day. But the Maria of before who was a walking, talking ball of energy that never let anything really get to her.

Feeling Isabel's gaze, Liz looked across at her and realized that she was looking back and forth between her and Michael questioningly. And Liz could just see the gears turning in Isabel's head trying to figure out what holy or unholy powers had brought them together for a meal.

Michael meanwhile was busy putting more tabasco in his coffee; completely oblivious to the questions Isabel was about to bombard them with. But before she could, Kyle spoke up.

"So Isabel and I were going to head to this concert in the park today. You guys wanna join us?"

No one noticed the annoyed look Isabel shot Kyle across the table.

"Nope" Michael answered firmly. "The last time Maria and I went to a concert in the park, she got hold of some bad cookies and became convinced she was shrinking. It took me hours to convince her she wasn't."

"Why would she eat cookies she got from someone at a concert anyway?" Isabel asked, chuckling.

"You got me" Michael answered. "I turned around for a second and when I turned back, she was holding this huge cookie she'd gotten from god knows where. I mean, you know Maria, she has such a sweet tooth. I just figured she'd gotten it from her purse or something."

More laughter from everyone at that because Michael truly look baffled as to why Maria would do that. Not recognizing that it was just Maria's innate 'Maria-ness' that made her do things like this. She really was a kid at heart.

Michael just shook his head grumbling something about strangers and candy.

"So, who's playing today?" Michael asked.

"Some local band" Isabel answered.

"Well, if some guy offers you cookies . . ." Michael began.

"Yeah, Michael, you can save that warning for Maria" Isabel replied as her food arrived.

~*_I had a smile*~  
~*__Stretched from ear to ear*~_

Liz sat there looking at her three friends as they continued to talk, thinking it was almost like old times.

_~*To see you walking down the road*~_

She could even imagine that Maria was in the kitchen fixing an order and Alex and Max weren't gone . . . that they were actually on their way and would be coming through the Crashdown doors any minute.

~*_We meet at the lights*~_

She even glanced at the doors for a minute . . .

~*_I stare for a while*~  
~*__The world around us disappears*~_

But then the food she'd just eaten turned over in her stomach with the knowledge that they wouldn't be coming through those doors ever again.

It wasn't old times.

~*_It's just you and me*~  
~*__On my island of hope*~_

These were new terrible times where one decision could cost you your love, your friends, your life . . .

~*_A breath between us could be miles*~_

You could lose it all in the space of an hour.

She looked around again, avoiding the eyes of everyone at their table, starting to feel claustrophobic.

_~*Let me surround you*~_

Her eyes finally settled on Isabel's plate.

_~*My sea to your shore*~_

At the sight of food, Liz's stomach turned over and the little she had managed to eat became in serious danger of coming back up.

_~*Let me be the calm you seek*~_

She quickly rose, halting the chatter around the table.

~*_Oh but every time I'm close to you*~  
~*__There's so much I can't say*~_

Realizing her intent, Kyle got up to let her out of the booth and before she departed, she mumbled something about her shift starting soon, not looking anyone at the table in the eye.

_~*And you just walk away*~_

And with that she rushed away.

~*_And I forgot to tell you I love you*~  
~*__And the night's too long*~  
~*__And cold here without you*~_

She flew through the breakroom doors and away from the 3 sets of sad eyes that followed her.

~*_I grieve in my condition*~  
~*__For I cannot find the words to say*~  
~*__I need you so*~_

_~.~.~.~_

_Lyrics from "I Love You" by Sarah McLachlan_


	5. Save Me

**Chapter 5: Save Me**

Isabel could sense the sadness radiating off of Liz in waves. 'How had she made it this long carrying all of that pain around?' Isabel wondered silently.

"Is she gonna be ok by herself?" she asked aloud.

Kyle shook his head, worried.

When no response was forthcoming from the third party at the table, they both turned to look at Michael, who was still staring at the door Liz had gone through thoughtfully. He started when he realized that they were both staring at him curiously.

"What?" he finally asked then nervously took a sip of his rapidly cooling coffee. He had been trying to sift through the emotions he was getting from Liz and there was one in particular that he found very puzzling.

"I just asked if Liz was gonna be ok by herself or should one of us go up and talk to her?" Isabel repeated.

Michael, suddenly coming to a decision, swiftly rose from the table, dropping some money down, and announced "I'll go."

Isabel rose to let Michael out and he headed towards the breakroom doors. As an afterthought, he threw over his shoulder "Have fun at the park!" and then he was gone.

Isabel and Kyle just stared after him confused.

Liz meanwhile had made it up the stairs and into the bathroom before the retching started.

Michael slowly made his way up the stairs, knowing he needed to give Liz time to finish losing her breakfast. When he got to the top of the stairs, he didn't bother to knock since he'd seen Liz's dad downstairs, her mom had left out while he was ordering breakfast and Liz was too preoccupied to hear him knocking. He let himself in, but once in the apartment, he found himself unsure of what to do next. The sounds of Liz throwing up carried well into the living room, so he sat down on the couch to wait, knowing Liz would be out soon enough.

When Liz had finished expelling every piece of food she had ever eaten, she clung to the bowl for a minute, waiting for the room to stop spinning. When it did, she flushed, rose shakily to her feet and made her way over to the sink, where she assessed the damage. Her skin was waxy and pale, her eyes appeared sunken in, and the dark circles under them seemed more pronounced now. She sighed and picked up the mouthwash. She figured maybe she should start buying the stuff in industrial size considering how often she used it. After gargling, she splashed some water on her face and headed towards the kitchen to see if she could find a cool compress.

She made it to the living room, but stopped abruptly when she spotted Michael sitting on the sofa looking uncomfortable.

"What is it Michael?" she asked, sighing wearily, not in the mood for a heart-to-heart.

"It's well . . . uh . . ."

"Spit it out Michael" she said tiredly.

"I've been getting this emotion from you and I know it's none of my business, but I can't just keep quiet when you're feeling guilt. Especially not in this situation . . . There is no reason for you to feel guilty over what happened. It's not your fault they . . . that Max and Alex . . ." he swallowed " . . . died."

"Not my fault? Not my fault!" Liz wailed. "Do you know there was a second between when Alex turned the gun on himself and when he pulled the trigger that I just stood there and watched?! And that I was the one who called Max to come over and heal Alex?! That he would have been home, _safe,_ if it wasn't for me?"

Michael ran his hand down his face, frustrated beyond belief.

He shifted forward onto the edge of his seat and looked over at her earnestly. "Liz, I don't know what I can do to convince you that it's not your fault. You think if you hadn't called Max right then, that once he found out what Tess had done he wouldn't have gone after her anyway? That _all of us_ wouldn't have gone after her?! Or that any of us would have fared any better seeing Alex turn a gun on himself? And even you said, it was only a second's pause! Look Liz, I'm not a big believer in God or anything, but I do believe there's a plan in all of this. And I believe there's a way to get through it, if we help each other and allow ourselves to be helped . . ."

"I used to believe in God Michael, but it's so hard to now. How can you be so sure that there's a plan to all of this?" she asked him desperately.

Michael sighed. "Because I can't accept the alternative" he stated simply. "Everything that's been happening to us _has_ to be part of some bigger plan. Otherwise it's all just chaos and . . . and pain. But if you look, I mean, _really_ look, it all seems so clear. I had been on this planet for years and I never considered it home . . . until Maria. Now I can't believe that someone so special came into my life because of random events. That just doesn't make any sense to me. Max always knew his home was with you . . . No matter how much Isabel and me tried to dissuade him, he held strong to that belief. And one day almost two years ago, fate stepped in and proved him right. Now, does that seem like coincidence to you? These are not just random events Liz. Isabel, Max and I were walking around terrified, _all the time,_ until you all brought out our human sides . . . showed us, _reminded us,_ that we are part human . . . showed us how to feel. We can't change the past Liz. All we can do is accept it and move on . . ."

Liz flinched a little when he said that, but Michael didn't seem to notice as he continued.

"What I'm trying to say is that we have to be thankful for the time we ad with them. Treasure the memories we have so that they'll continue to live on. Be thankful that we have each other to lean on. I think that we're all meant to be here for each other . . . In a random universe, would I have been there to pull you back from that ledge? . . . And that's what I'm trying to say. You need to let me be here for you. It's what Max-" His voice faltered. After a moment he cleared his throat. "It's what Max would have wanted . . . And maybe that's why I can sense you. Because it was time for one of us to save you from yourself . . . You have to let me do this Liz. You have to let me help you. And in order to do that you have to let me in. And stop doing this to yourself. Stop torturing yourself with the what-ifs, the could-of's and the should-of's. They're not helping you Liz. They're destroying you."

~*_There's a lot you don't know*~_

"I can't help it Michael . . . You don't know . . . you _can't_ know what I did, how I changed the past . . . the future . . . How I made it worse" she exhaled.

~*_There's a lot I can't tell*~_

"What?" Michael said in frustration. "What are you talking about?"

~*_Would you think I'm crazy*~  
~*__If you knew me that well?*~_

At this point, Liz started and looked at Michael like a deer caught in headlights. "Um . . ." she hedged, trying to figure out what to say to extricate herself from her slipup.

~*_'Cause there's a lot you don't know*~_

"Look" Michael began "there's obviously more to this story than you're telling and I think you want to tell me, to tell _somebody_ . . ." He leaned forward. "I'm here and a willing ear, so . . ."

"Well . . ." Liz had no idea what to say next. She was tired of keeping secrets, of constantly questioning how what she'd done had changed the world. She was so _tired._

~*_And you say*~  
~*__You won't go_ _and I'd like to believe you*~_

"Liz?" Michael gently prompted her.

She started talking softly. "Back in October of last year, I had a visitor. He came to me from the future . . . 14 years in the future and told me I had to prevent the world from ending . . . I . . . it was Max."

Michael sat back, stunned. Of all the things he'd expected Liz to say . . .

He regarded her curiously, not sure what to think.

~*_But I know . . . *~  
~*__There's no one left to save me*~_

Liz began pacing back and forth across the carpet, clasping and unclasping her hands. Now that she had started, she found that it was a huge relief to finally tell someone the full story of what had happened.

_~*I am the only one*~_

"When Future Max first came to me, I was sure he was a shapeshifter or a skin, so I didn't believe him. But he knew things that were gonna happen before they happened. Max . . . present day Max, um _my_ Max serenaded me that night and Future Max knew it was going to happen. He knew so much that it was impossible to deny the truth. He really was from the future, a future so terrible that he came back to ask me to help him change it . . ."

~*_There's no one left to save me*~  
~*__I am the only one*~_

"He said that in the original timeline, he and I . . . we . . . got back together and . . . became inseparable . . . This fact caused Tess to leave and apparently she was vital to the group's survival, because 14 years later earth was taken over and with you all being one alien short, you couldn't prevent it . . . In fact, Max, Future Max, said that you died just minutes before he came back and Isabel died just two weeks before that. . . . He said that the only way to prevent this was to change the pivotal event that caused Tess to leave. So he wanted me to get Max to fall out of love with me and fall for Tess. Michael, he spoke of his and my future . . . We were together till the end . . . the end of the world . . . We got married at 19 and our wedding! All of you were there for our wedding . . . including . . . including Alex . . . But I changed it . . ."

~*_There's no one left to save me*~_

"I broke Max's heart, because Max, Future Max, asked me to . . . I pretended to sleep with Kyle to convince Max it was over. I gave up everything to try to fix the future and I only made it worse! So do you see now Michael? Why I blame myself? This is all my fault!"

~*_Is it all in my head?*~  
~*__Or somehow is it truth?*~_

By this time, tears were running down Liz's face and she made her way over to a chair, sat down heavily and sobbed.

~*_Was it something I said?*~  
~*__I can offer no proof*~_

This finally broke Michael out of his stunned silence and he rushed over to her, settled on the edge of her chair and put his arm around her, rapidly trying to sort through all she had told him. Amazed at what she'd done, what she'd given up for them. To try to secure their futures, she'd given up her own . . . her future with Max.

~*_'Cause there's a lot you don't know*~ _

"Liz" he gently shook her to get her attention. She looked up at him through tear-filled eyes and he instantly felt protective of this little wasp of a girl. She was a part of their group- He corrected himself, part of their _family_, and he needed to reassure her that she hadn't done anything wrong.

~*_And you say*~  
~*__You won't go_ a_nd I'd like to believe you*~_

"Liz, you just threw a lot of information at me just now and I'm gonna need some time to sort through it, but the one thing I can say right now is that you should not, repeat, _should not,_ hold yourself responsible for what happened with Max and Alex. Neither of you could have known that the future would be changed in this way when the plan was devised. Hindsight is one of those things that can make you feel really bad or stupid or whatever after the fact. But what you have to keep telling yourself is that you made the best decision you could based on the information you had at the time."

_~*But I know . . . *~ _

"But that's the thing Michael! We should have explored the possibilities first! Should have come up with a better plan! Should have . . . we should have . . ." at this Liz crumbled, sobbing heavily.

~*_There's no one left to save me*~_

Michael just tightened his arm around her. "Liz, I don't think there's anything you could have done. All Future Max knew is that without Tess we were weakened. He didn't know Tess was a psychotic bitch that would eventually turn on all of us. In that other timeline, she didn't stick around long enough for anyone to find out. Bottom line is any plan that resulted in Tess staying in Roswell was already flawed. You have to try to remember that when that guilt starts pressing in on you."

_~*I am the only one*~_

Liz sniffled a little, but her tears had slowed. _Who knew Michael could be a voice of reason?_ And for the second time in less than 24 hours she found herself saying "thank you" to Michael softly.

At this, Michael grumbled something that sounded like "you're welcome" and stood up. He looked down at her and said "Don't you have a shift starting in a few minutes?"

She blinked. She had been so eager to get the story off her chest she'd forgotten all about work. She glanced at her watch and gasped. "Actually I'm twenty minutes late! I'd better go get changed. But thank you Michael!" And she found herself hugging him again in appreciation.

Michael lightly hugged her back and then broke away gruffly. "Well, I'm gonna head out. I'll see you later" he threw over his shoulder as he shuffled his way out of the apartment.

Liz just shook her head and smiled a little at how quick Michael had beat a path out of there. All of the emotions and sharing were probably getting to him. But she was still so very grateful to whatever deity or power-that-be that sent him to help her. She went to the bathroom and tried to repair some of the damage done by crying with makeup. _It'll have to do,_ she thought when she finished. So she went downstairs to her locker and quickly changed into her uniform.

Once she began working, she found that the day passed by relatively quickly and somewhere in that time she realized that she felt somewhat lighter emotionally. The pain hadn't lessened. It was always with her and so was the ache where her connection to Max had been. But the guilt had retreated. So she finished out her 7-hour shift and went upstairs to change and figure out what to do with the rest of her afternoon. As she crossed the living room, she began unbuttoning her dress when a button popped off and rolled under the sofa. She cursed softly and knelt down to reach under the sofa to get it. Her hand touched something metal and cold. She pulled it out and sat up. As she watched, it uncrumpled in her hand and reformed into a square piece of metal.

As her fingers jerked around it in surprise, the force of the flash that hit her was so powerful that the whole room went black as she passed out.

~*_There's no one left to save me*~  
~*__I am the only one*~_

_~.~.~.~_

_Lyrics from "Save Me" by The Pierces_


	6. Grief Girl

_Note: The song in this section is from Jeremy Kay "Have it all"_

**Chapter 6: Grief Girl**

She woke to someone calling her name. Everything was foggy and her hand was killing her. She fought to open her eyes and when she finally managed, she looked up straight into Michael's concerned ones. He was sitting on the floor next to her, her head cradled on a pillow on his lap.

"What happened?" he asked softly.

He had been so worried. He'd been sitting in his apartment watching a basketball game after talking to Maria for a half hour when he'd suddenly felt shock coming from Liz . . . Before he could process that, he felt her confusion, her fear, then grief, pain, then just nothing. It was like she had simply stopped being. And he didn't know what happened. What if she'd been attacked? What if she were dead? There were no words to describe how terrified he'd been at that moment. So he rushed over to the Crashdown, nearly crashing Maria's car in his haste to get there quickly. And he found Liz lying on the floor of her living room, not far from where he'd left her standing earlier in the day. He checked and thank god, she was breathing, but she was also clearly unconscious. Not wanting to jostle her too much since he didn't know what had happened, he'd grabbed a pillow from the sofa and sat her head in his lap and started trying to get her to wake up.

Right now she was looking at him with this really perplexed expression and he realized with a start that she was in pain.

"What's wrong Liz? Where does it hurt?"

"My hand. Crap! My hand really hurts" she muttered. At that she held up her hand and it was only then that she realized it was clenched closed around something. She unclenched it with effort and gasped in shock at the piece of metal that unfurled in her hand and the blood that started pouring from the cuts in her hand. She dropped the piece of metal quickly and sat up, cradling her hand against her.

Michael looked confused as he picked up the piece of metal that he'd been carrying around for months now. He wasn't sure how Liz had gotten it, but whatever had happened had obviously involved it.

She looked at her hand again to assess the damage, but the sight of blood on her hand made her eyes begin to roll back in her head as she started to pass out again.

Michael looked up just in time to catch her before her head collided with the coffee table. "Whoa Liz, what the hell?"

She didn't look at Michael. She somehow looked _through_ him. She blinked and a tear fell as she chanted quietly. "M-my fault . . . my fault . . . All my fault . . ." She huddled, wrapping her arms around herself and started to rock back and forth.

Michael realized she was having a flashback. "No Liz, it's ok . . . It's _your_ blood." He shook his head. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up." And he guided her up and to the bathroom. She allowed herself to be guided numbly, not really paying attention, not really caring where he was taking her.

When they reached the bathroom, Michael wet a clean washcloth and carefully cradled Liz's hand. He softly wiped the blood away and saw that the cuts weren't too deep and the bleeding had already stopped.

Liz didn't even wince.

He could no longer hear her but her mouth was still moving. When he was done, he held her hand up for her inspection. "See Liz? It's all cleaned up." He was hoping that the sight would snap her out of it.

Liz's eyes slowly focused and she blinked, looking around.

"Liz?" Michael asked uncertainly.

She focused on him. "Yeah" she grimaced, reaching up to wipe her face. "Sorry" she muttered, looking away.

"It's okay" Michael answered relieved, leading the way back to the living room. "Just tell me what happened and how you got this and we're even." He held up the square piece of metal.

Liz's eyes widened as she looked at the piece of metal and she took the last few steps to the sofa on shaky legs and sat down. Michael, seeing her unease, came and sat beside her.

"Michael, I got a flash from that. I found it under the sofa. The flash Michael . . . it was like nothing I've ever felt . . . It . . . it was Death, Michael, all around me . . ." Her eyes glazed over. "Everything was murky . . . There was this feeling of hopelessness and . . . and so much pain. It was more like impressions than actual images, but then . . . then there was just nothing, like the pain had just stopped . . . I . . . I don't know what it means Michael, but it was terrifying. "

Michael ran a hand tiredly down his face, trying to absorb all she'd just told him. "You got all that from this?" he asked, holding up the metal piece dubiously.

She blinked and looked at him.

"Yeah, why? Do you know what it is?"

"Yeah, uh . . . It's mine." He looked over at her to gauge her reaction. Seeing her simply looking at him curious, unaccusing, he continued. "It must've fallen out of my pocket earlier when I was here. It's actually uh, a piece of our ship that crashed . . . as you can kinda figure from it's odd behavior it's obvious it's . . . otherworldly." At that, he crumpled it in his hands and then held his hand out and it returned to its original shape. "I got it from this former captain in the army, Hal Carver, that I met some months back who claimed he was around when our ship crashed in '47. He showed me this piece of metal to prove he was telling the truth, then he let me keep it after I . . . after I showed him that uh . . . that I believed him." At that last part, Michael couldn't quite meet her eyes.

"Wow, ok" Liz said, sitting back. "But ok, that still doesn't explain why I got a flash from it."

"I know" Michael said puzzled as he returned his gaze to the piece of metal in his hands. "I've had it all this time and I never got anything from it."

"I . . . I want to try again to see if I get another flash, to see if I can get a _clearer_ flash from it, but not right now. The last one was a bit much" she said as she flexed her hand unconsciously and then looked down at it resting in her lap.

"Yeah" Michael said, as he stood and walked over to the window. He was actually trying to shake the feeling of dread that had curled in his stomach. And after the past 24 hours Liz had had, he realized that a good distraction was in order for the both of them.

He turned back to Liz. "So what do you have planned for the rest of the day?" already making plans in his head.

Noticing Michael's sudden change of topic, Liz answered lightly. "Oh, you know, the usual, although I can't decide which of my exciting activities to do first: There's, you know, the always entertaining 'stare at the wall'. Then there's 'stare at the sky' which is good for some laughs. But, you know, really 'stare at the clock' beats out both of those . . . "

Michael held up his hands. "Ok, I get it, you have nothing planned. So, you wanna go catch Izzy and Kyle at that concert in the park?"

Liz hedged, thinking about the last time they all tried to get together, this morning not withstanding. It was about a month after Max and Alex's deaths and Kyle had arranged for them all to get together, probably because he felt it would help Isabel. But what a mistake that had been! Everything was so awkward and strained and the pain going around the group was almost palpable. And then, just when things had started loosening up, Liz had mentioned something about Alex and the whole table had fallen silent.

_Grief-girl strikes again_, Liz had thought to herself. _Where there is joy, she will bring sadness. Where there is laughter, she will bring silence. For she is 'Grief-girl!' Able to depress a whole table in a single bound._

It seemed that getting them all together inevitably just highlighted their missing members.

"How about we just go and if we see them, we see them?" Michael offered as a compromise.

Liz hesitated then nodded in acquiescence, figuring that regardless she could definitely use a break from herself.

"Just let me change first" she said, looking down at the Crashdown uniform she was still wearing.

Michael nodded. "I'll be downstairs." And he headed out of the apartment. Liz joined him shortly after and then they were off to the park.

When they arrived, they found the crowd somewhat bigger than expected, due to there simply not being very much to _do_ in Roswell most of the time, so when something did pop up, everyone went. So instead of trying to squeeze through all the people swarming about, they kept to the fringes of the crowd. The band playing was actually pretty decent and they were just finishing out one song and began another.

_"Some days I feel like crying  
Don't matter if it's rain or shine  
I feel like my heart was broken  
At least a million times"_

Liz's eyes widened as she recognized the lyrics of the song.

_"Some days I wake up dreaming  
Feels like I never even woke  
I answer life's big question  
As if it's one big joke"_

Feeling sick, bile rose in her throat, overpowering . . .

_"Maybe it's too soon to be sure  
But I, really do believe that some day we're gonna have it all  
So I try so hard to keep the rhythm of a train rolling right along  
When the ride gets rough you got to carry on"_

She stumbled over to a tree, not caring if Michael noticed as she lost the last of what was in her stomach. After the dry heaves ceased, she leaned heavily against the tree trying to catch her breath and block out the rest of the song.

"So what was that about?" Michael asked softly from beside her.

"It was a little sensory overload" Liz hedged, deciding not to share that Alex used to play that song. _Grief-girl would not be making an appearance at this event_, she thought to herself silently. But then she grimaced at the horrid taste in her mouth, reminding her that Grief-girl had already visited.

"I'll be right back" Michael announced and walked off. Liz didn't even look up. He was back less than a minute later and handed her a bottled water.

She took it gratefully and used it to rinse out her mouth, although it didn't totally take the bad taste away.

"Tic tac?" Michael asked, pulling a pack out of his pocket and offering them to her.

Liz smiled the most wistful smile and took the pack, just staring at it contemplatively.

"What?" Michael asked. "What is it?"

"Alex" Liz said softly.

Michael patiently waited for her to continue, he could tell she needed to talk.

"Like a year ago, he really wanted to work at this computer store, so much so that he made me and Maria practice with him for days to prepare for the interview. So the day of the interview we had been practicing right through lunch, with Maria and I firing interview questions at him left and right. So we decided to order something to eat. Now Alex being Alex, he orders this burger with the works: fried onions, peppers and everything. Even Saturn rings on the side. So, when he's about to leave for the interview he starts getting really worried about his breath, so Maria offers him some tic-tacs. He pops a couple in his mouth and walks out looking totally confident. He comes back like 20 minutes later, totally dejected and without saying anything to us, sits down and drops his head onto the counter. So Maria and I look at each other and walk over to him. He doesn't even acknowledge us. Maria asks him what happened, did they not offer him the job? And still without looking up he tells us he didn't even get that far. Apparently when he went in, he and the manager of the store sat down at a table and the manager asked him the first interview question and just as he began to answer, one of the tic-tacs just goes flying out of his mouth and lands on the table between them. Alex said he was so mortified that he just grabbed the tic-tac off the table and rushed out before the guy could say anything."

Michael laughed softly at the story and Liz began to join him, but just as she'd feared, her laughter quickly dissolved into tears. Michael floundered for a moment and then began patting her back in what he hoped was a soothing manner as he waited for her tears to subside. When her sobbing turned to sniffles, his hand dropped back to his side.

"Is this what it's been like for you Liz, since they died?" he asked her. "The throwing up, the flashes, the nightmares, and the crying?"

"It's been bad since that day" Liz acknowledged. "But in the past few weeks, it's just gotten worse. That's why I couldn't stand it anymore Michael . . . It's getting worse instead of better."

Michael's arm went hesitantly around her shoulders. "It's gonna be ok Liz. We'll get through this, I promise."

Liz just nodded numbly. She didn't believe him but it was nice of him to try.

Neither of them noticed the figure standing just a few feet away, looking at them speculatively.

**tbc...**


	7. Light at the end

_Lyrics used in this chapter are from Peter Gabriel's "I Grieve"_

**Chapter 7: Light at the end**

The concert ended with thankfully no further incidents and Michael and Liz made their way back to Maria's car, not having seen Kyle or Isabel anywhere.

"So what now?" Michael asked, trying to think of what they could do next to pass the time.

"I think I want to see if I can get another flash from that piece of metal" Liz replied quietly.

Michael looked over at her surprised. "You sure?" he asked. Not even sure he was ready to find out what that vision was actually about. That sense of foreboding had stayed with him since Liz had told him about it earlier and he couldn't help but worry.

"Yeah" Liz replied. "It was the opposite of fun passing out and everything. But I think the flash was important."

Michael sighed. "Ok, but if we're gonna do this, we're gonna do it at my place. Just in case you pass out again. I don't want to have to explain anything weird to your parents."

She nodded. "Works for me."

They made their way back to Michael's apartment in silence, both occupied with their thoughts. Once there were inside, Liz took note of the empty Snapple bottles on the coffee table and the half-empty pizza box without comment.

Michael shrugged. "I gave the cleaning lady the day off." He didn't feel the need to mention that he'd rushed out earlier, worried about her.

"So, ok, are you ready to do this?" he asked, pulling the piece of metal out of his pocket and settling next to Liz on the couch.

"Yeah" Liz replied, rubbing suddenly sweaty hands on her jeans and then grimacing when the cuts on her hand reminded her of what the metal had done the first time.

"Maybe you should try the other hand this time" Michael advised.

"No, it's ok. It's not like I want _two_ cut up palms instead of one" she said as she held her hand out for the metal piece.

Michael placed it into her outstretched palm and watched her hand close reflexively around it. He was studying her reaction to the metal, which was how he noticed her pupils dilating before her eyes rolled back in her head as she collapsed back against the sofa.

~.~.~.~

_She was standing in nothingness._

_She looked around slowly, trying to figure out where she was. Everything was muddled and she fought to clear the air around her so that she could see clearly. That's when she saw that she wasn't alone. Isabel was laying just a few feet away . . . only she wasn't breathing and there was a trail of blood coming from her nose and mouth._

_Liz gasped and tried to go to her, but she couldn't move. The realization that Isabel was already gone hit a moment later and nearly brought her to her knees._

_But before she could get a handle on that, Kyle stepped out of the murk. He immediately focused on Isabel and started to walk toward her calling her name. There was a flash of light, Kyle stiffened and then he collapsed. Liz knew without knowing _how_ she knew that he was gone now too._

_She could feel the wetness on her face. Somewhere far off she knew she was sobbing. She raised a hand to wipe her face and realized she had been unknowingly applying pressure to a wound. When she pulled her hand away from her stomach, pain caused her legs to give out. It was unbearable, crippling and she had no idea where it came from. She blinked tears away to peer at the wound. There was a deep gash that went from one side of her waist to the other, bleeding furiously._

_Nothing was making sense! What was happening?_

_She huddled, pleading with whatever deity was up there to undo all of this, but when she looked back over at her friends, there was Michael. He stumbled forward, holding his side, pale and bleeding furiously. A moment later, another flash of light hit and he collapsed. Liz cried out and crawled over to him even though she knew it was too late. And when the next flash hit, aimed at her, she gave up and let the darkness rise up to get her thankfully._

~.~.~.~.~

Michael sat next to her, trying to wait patiently. Liz had been out for fifteen minutes now and he had ceased feeling any emotions from her about a minute ago. But what he'd felt before that had made him incredibly anxious. He didn't know if he should try to wake her or not. In the midst of his debate, Liz lunged up from the sofa, gasping for air.

"Liz, it's ok. You're okay. It was just a dream." He patted her back in a way he hoped was comforting and when she'd calmed, he removed the metal piece from her hands, noting that this time it hadn't produced any new cuts.

Liz turned horrified eyes to him and his breath caught, freezing in his chest.

_ ~*It was only one hour ago*~  
~*It was all so different then*~_

"What? What'd you see?" Michael forced out, already afraid of her answer.

_ ~*Nothing yet has really sunk in*~_

As if the question had turned off some light inside her, Liz's eyes clouded over and her gaze shifted to the wall behind him.

_ ~*Looks like it always did*~_

"We're all gonna be killed . . . " she said in an almost detached way. More disturbing than her words though, was the expression on her face that he hadn't seen since the day Alex and Max had died.

_ ~*This flesh and bone*~  
~*It's just the way that we are tied in*~_

"Liz? What did you see?" he asked, pleading.

_ ~*But there's no one home*~_

She stood and looked back at him. "I saw us Michael . . . Me, you, Kyle and Isabel . . . We all died."

_ ~*I grieve . . . for you*~  
~*You leave . . . me*~_

She stepped over to the door. "Michael, I'm really tired. Could you take me home now?"

_ ~*So hard to move on*~  
~*Still loving what's gone*~_

And he could sense it now that he was paying attention. Instead of the grief and pain that had been radiating from her, all he could feel now was resignation.

_ ~*Still life carries on*~_

He felt like he'd been punched in the gut.

Liz had given up. Whatever she'd seen had just obliterated the last of her will . . .

_~*Carries on and on and on . . . and on*~_

~.~.~.~

Michael sat in the Jetta outside of the Crashdown. Liz had long since vacated the passenger seat, but he just couldn't bring himself to leave, knowing the state she was in.

And the nagging questions he was trying to ignore just kept buzzing around, demanding answers.

What if Liz were right? What if they _were_ all about to die? Shouldn't he get as much info as possible and warn the others so that they could be on the defensive? Shouldn't he _do_ something?

He had tried, without success, to question Liz about her vision. But she had gone into an almost catatonic state once she'd gotten into the car and nothing he said seemed to get through. And all he could sense from her was that god-awful resignation.

But still, he didn't press harder because he could sense that her hold on things was tenuous at best and forcing her to recall a vision that showed her the deaths of her friends could very well send her over the edge into a despair she might never recover from.

Still Michael didn't feel comfortable leaving her in that state so he scooted down in the Jetta, trying to get comfortable since it seemed he'd be sleeping outside the Crashdown tonight.

~.~.~.~

Liz went inside, passing her parents, who she dimly remembered to greet and continued her way upstairs to her bedroom. There she began her nightly routine.

Routine . . . Maybe that's all life boiled down to. Maybe that was all that kept people sane. And maybe that's why she was losing it now, she thought to herself. Oh, she knew she didn't _appear_ to be losing it, but that's because she'd shut down before it could truly kick in . . . The unfairness of it all . . . Why it seemed to be picking off members of their group one by one. The ironic thing was the ledge was no longer calling to her because if her vision was correct, all she had to do was wait it out and death would come to her. She laughed without mirth at that fact but when she had to choke back a sob, she stopped.

Another ironic fact was that this was the first night in a long time that she didn't actually dread sleep. Sleep was the least of her worries tonight. So, she figured, if sleep actually visited, she wouldn't turn him away.

And with that she climbed into bed. It took only moments for her to fall into a deep sleep.

~.~.~.~

_She was sitting outside in the lounge chair on her balcony. But...she hadn't fallen asleep on the balcony. She'd actually lain down in her bed for once._

_So why was she here now?_

_"Because I have something to show you Liz." The female voice was so slight it seemed to float on the wind past her ears._

_Liz jumped up from the lounge chair. "Who's there?" she called, somehow knowing she shouldn't be afraid, but afraid nonetheless. Her subconscious hadn't been kind to her lately. She had good reason to be nervous, she reasoned._

_"Who I am is not important" the voice said. Yet Liz could sense a kindness in the tone that allowed her to expel some of the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding._

_"See with your heart Liz . . ." the voice said. And suddenly Future Max was standing just a few feet away. Liz's breath caught in her throat, seeing a future that could no longer be._

_"Why? Why are you showing me this?" she cried. "This isn't real, I changed this!"_

_"It's ok child . . . Just look . . . You have to know what to see . . ." and with that Future Max stepped over to the side of the building, not far from where Liz used to hide her journal, moved his hand over a brick and then slid it out and tucked something inside. What it was, Liz couldn't tell since he was facing away from her._

_"What just happened?" she called out into the night._

_"Shh child . . . It's gonna be alright . . . For as you've already learned, time runs both ways . . ."_

_"What? What did he hide in there? What does all of this mean?" Liz called. But already she could feel the presence starting to drift away. The night shimmered and a moment later she was alone._

~.~.~.~

She came awake slowly, trying to understand what had just happened . . . whether it had been just a dream or something more. There was only one way to find out . . .

So she got up, threw on a robe and trudged out to the balcony. Once there, she attempted to stand where she thought she'd seen Future Max stand in her dream and looked at the bricks in the wall.

_Well, if this isn't a needle in a haystack_, she thought tiredly. Still she began checking bricks, looking for one loose one.

She was just about to give up when she found it.

Wonderingly, she pulled out the brick and looked inside. There was a folded piece of paper that she quickly withdrew and behind that was a slender, oblong crystal. She pulled that out too and sat down shakily in her lounge chair to read.

~.~.~.~

Michael climbed the steps of the ladder to Liz's balcony slowly. Trying to prepare for the worst, because he didn't dare believe that the emotion he'd felt coming from Liz was real.

Yet, as he ascended the final steps and Liz came into view sitting in her lounge chair, she looked over at him and he saw it in her eyes.

_Hope._


	8. Hope?

**Chapter 8: Hope?**

" 'Morning" Michael offered tentatively, not sure what to expect from a suddenly cheerful Liz in the wake of her vision yesterday.

"Michael!" Liz exclaimed. She got up and then sat back down, a piece of paper clutched tightly in one hand.

"Ok, so, there's no way I could explain this to you, so here, read!" Liz exclaimed in an excited rush as she thrust the paper at him.

Michael pulled the paper away from his chest where she had thrust it and sat down with it, figuring that sitting down would be necessary before looking at a paper that had apparently given Liz back her hope.

His first surprise was that it was a letter.

_My Dearest Liz,_

_If you're reading this letter, it means that our plan of altering the future must have resulted in a future far worse than the original and that the fate of the world is now at stake. I know this because these are the only conditions under which you were to be contacted about the existence of this letter._

_I recognized in coming back to change the future that things might become worse instead of better. Fate is not a thing to be toyed with, as we did. I say 'Fate' because it is obvious that no matter the lifetime, you and I are meant to be together. So any reality that attempts to alter that could end badly. Although Romeo and Juliet is beginning to seem like our story: romantic, yet tragically doomed._

_But I digress._

_There is much to do now, for you must once again attempt to change the past. I'm sorry to ask this of you, but you are the one person who has the power to fix this; As I recognized when I came back and asked for your help. Now I'm sure you doubt this, but you are strong Liz; stronger than even you give yourself credit for. You can change this reality that you're living in. You can fix this._

_I'm assuming you have already started having the visions._

_This was true in my timeline also. They have probably shown you great death and destruction that you are somehow powerless to prevent. These visions occurred in my timeline also, but they were too late to prevent Isabel's death, as they were probably too late to prevent the death of one or more members of our family in yours. I say, 'family' for that is what we came to see ourselves as, as time went on and we faced many battles together. Unfortunately I must tell you that these visions signal the beginning of the end._

_In my timeline, they signaled the end of the world._

_Which is why I brought an extra crystal behind for your use, so that you can go back. So go back my love and reclaim all that you have lost. I'm sorry to lay such a large task on your delicate shoulders, but as I have said, you are strong my Liz, stronger than you could ever imagine. I have seen it time and again in my years with you and I saw glimpses of it tonight, seeing how strong you were in a task that I know broke your heart._

_Just remember what I've always told you: We create our own Destiny._

_With all my love,_

_Max_

Michael looked over at Liz who was studying his reaction closely and shocked brown eyes met dancing, happy ones. Liz saw the questions in his so she waited for him to speak.

"How . . .? Where . . . ? What . . . ?" Michael shook his head. He couldn't seem to form a coherent sentence. There were so many questions swimming around in his head, he couldn't figure out what he wanted to know first.

Liz decided to try to answer what she thought Michael was trying to ask. "Well" Liz began with a smile "I had a visitor in my dream last night. She wouldn't tell me who she was or even let me see her, but she did show me Future Max hiding the letter and the crystal, so I looked for them this morning when I woke up.

Michael just blinked blankly so she continued.

"It turns out Future Max had hidden them behind a brick in the wall right over there." And she pointed to where she'd found the items.

"Now your 'what?' question, I'm not really sure about because I don't know what the rest of the question was gonna be, but I'm assuming you were gonna ask what we're supposed to use the crystal on to time travel. Well, that answer is simple . . . the granolith." And she let that hang in the air since she knew it would be a shock to digest.

"The granolith?" Michael finally spoke. He was still nearly blown away by the letter, but apparently the surprises weren't gonna wait for him to catch up.

"Yeah, apparently with this crystal, the granolith can be used to travel in time. Although the 'how' of that, I'm not really sure about, but I'm sure we can figure it out" she said confidently. She was just so happy that things could be changed. That they could get Max and Alex back. Alive.

"So what are we waiting for?" Michael said impatiently as he began to rise. "Let's go!"

"Okay Michael, just let me get changed out of my pajamas" she said giddily. Not even minding Michael rushing her. Not minding anything in that moment.

~.~.~.~

As they rode out to the pod chamber, Michael began to question her more about her dream.

"So when you say that you had a visitor in your dream last night, do you mean someone dreamwalked you?"

Liz blinked. "You know, I hadn't really thought of it that way, but I guess, yeah, someone dreamwalked me" she said in surprise because the only person they knew who could do that was Isabel.

"So who was this person? She didn't tell you anything about herself?"

"No, in fact, when I asked her, she said that who she was wasn't important. Then she showed me Future Max hiding the letter and crystal, said something really cryptic about time running both ways, which of course makes sense now, and then she was gone."

He absorbed all of this in silence, more questions bubbling but when he met her eye she interrupted, her voice broken yet hopeful. _"Michael..."_

He swallowed and looked away. "I know Liz, I know" he answered quietly.

They rode the rest of the way to the pod chamber in silence, hope and fear warring in the air around them.

As they left the town behind and drew closer to their destination, Michael thought about how often he'd taken this road to go out to the pod chamber since Max's death. It hurt like hell that Max was gone. Which shouldn't have been surprising, but it still was. He knew he'd cared about Max, loved him like a brother in fact. But he'd never imagined losing him would feel like he'd lost a vital part of himself, like an arm, a leg, or even a lung.

The pain was sometimes more than he could bear.

So he'd ride out to the pod chamber on his motorcycle every once in a while, because somehow coming out to the place where Max was buried, the last place he'd been alive, helped.

Sometimes he'd just walk around outside the pod chamber and have silent conversations with Max in his head. Ironically they argued a lot in there, but instead of irritation, he felt only fondness during these bouts. The conversations were almost always the same, but it helped to purge his soul of some of the pain and some of the _guilt_ he felt over the way things had happened.

Truth be told, Liz wasn't the only one with a claim to guilt over Max and Alex's deaths. He figured probably everyone in their group felt some to an extent, not having been there when their friends died, when their friends needed them. He glanced over at Liz but she appeared to be completely immersed in the scenery rushing past her window.

Liz barely noticed the scenery beyond her window as they drew closer to the pod chamber. The last time she'd come here was the day they'd gone looking for Max and found him dead inside. Her heart clenched and she let that thought go quickly. She shook her head, trying to dislodge the memories. She glanced over at Michael and noticed that he looked somber also. She reached over and touched his arm. "We have a way to fix this now, so we will." She held up the crystal. "We'll fix this Michael."

He flashed a quick smile and focused back on the road as he pulled off of the highway and onto the desert floor that would lead them to the pod chamber, jostling them both back to the matter at hand. When he pulled to a stop in front of the rock formation, they both jumped out of the car and Liz followed Michael as he steadily climbed up the rocks. They both glanced over at the marker where Max was buried but neither of them spoke. As they continued their trek upward, Liz's heart was pounding in her chest but she forced herself to focus on the matter at hand.

Upon arriving at the entrance, Michael took a deep breath, then waved his hand and placed it over the silver handprint that had appeared. The entrance to the chamber slid open, beckoning them forward. They stepped inside and Michael made sure that the entrance closed securely behind them. Liz consciously blocked out the image of the last time she had been here when Max had been slumped over on the opposing wall and focused on Michael moving forward in the chamber.

Michael shook his head and focused forward, a cacophony of echoes assaulting him; Liz's screams when she had to be pulled away from Max's body, sobbing from Isabel and Maria, who had never really stopped since Alex, Valenti pleading with Liz to let go, Kyle trying to calm Isabel and him holding Maria as his heart pounded so loud he felt like he'd pass out.

_So much pain here, in this place..._

Yet, his shoulders straightened as he blocked those thoughts and gathered strength from what they were here to do.

Michael made his way through one of the pods and into the chamber beyond to where the granolith was held and Liz followed, both of them shedding memories as they went.

Liz hadn't noticed before, since she had never actually seen it inside the chamber, but the granolith was truly an impressive sight. The base had a metallic ring around it, but the center was beveled glass that shone with a strange incandescent light. The light shined into the structure itself, which was thin at the bottom and spread out into a conical shape and stood to the ceiling. It appeared to be composed of metal, probably the same kind that the ship had been composed of since the crash in the desert didn't seem to have damaged it at all. It also seemed to be emitting a light humming sound, which was probably from the vibrations of its energy.

_They were really about to try this,_ she thought nervously. And as she looked at Michael, she realized that they must both be feeling the gravity of the situation, because the feeling of apprehension she'd suddenly had was mirrored in his expression.

Michael spoke first. "So . . . How do you think this works?" he said, nervously rubbing his palms against his jeans.

"I don't know Michael. Let's just look for a place to insert the crystal and go from there."

They both began circling the structure, looking for openings.

"Found it!" she cried excitedly, breaking the silence. It was about halfway around the structure in its base. There was a slot that looked like it would probably fit the crystal. She and Michael both peered down at the opening.

"Ok, so what do we do now?" Michael asked. "I mean, I know we insert the crystal. But how do we tell it where we want to go and what day we want to go to, etc?"

Liz chewed on her bottom lip as she contemplated their dilemma. "Well" she began "if the granolith was never meant to work for time travel . . ."

"What the hell?" Michael interrupted. "Why do you say that?"

"Right, um, well, Future Max told me. He said the granolith had to be altered to work for time travel and since all he left was this crystal, the crystal must be all the altering it needs."

At that she began studying the crystal to find anything unusual in it's makeup that would show her what they had to do to feed it information.

After a few minutes of watching her examine the crystal, Michael finally pulled it from her hands. "You know what I think? I say the only way to figure out how this thing works is to just try it."

Liz sputtered. "B-but that's way too drastic a way of trying to figure things out!" But then she remembered this was Michael she was talking to. In the time she'd known him, he had mastered the art of acting now and thinking later.

He shook his head, looking speculatively at the crystal. "We'll never know if we don't try." And then, quicker than Liz could stop him, he inserted the crystal into the machine and stepped back. She just stood by speechless as the crystal glowed with a bright light and the machine hummed to life all around them. The granolith almost seemed to be spinning as a bright light shot through the base and into the opening above. Michael met Liz's surprised look with a slightly triumphant one and said "Well at least we know it's working." And then he pressed his palm flat against its surface, some intuition, or forgotten knowledge telling him to.

The sounds around them became even more raucous.

Suddenly a bright light lit up the chamber and Liz was thrown to the ground just as Michael disappeared from beside her and as she sat up, he appeared inside the granolith inside of a swirling incandescent light. Shocked, she could see him inside looking slightly disoriented. But then he began to look excited at the idea that everything seemed to be working. But just as he thought that, the sounds around him began to decrease and die down and he felt himself coming apart again and found himself once again standing outside the granolith.

Liz rushed over to him. "What happened?" she asked.

"I don't know" he answered breathlessly. "One minute everything was fine and then the next . . . it's like it spit me out" he said disgruntledly, bracing his hands on his knees to catch his breath.

Liz hit him once in the shoulder. Hard. And then did it again for good measure.

"Ow!" Michael grunted, rubbing his shoulder. "What was that for?"

"For scaring the living daylights out of me with that stunt! We can't go at this half-cocked Michael. If we want this to work, we've got to be careful and meticulous. We've only got one crystal. We only get one chance."

Michael dropped her gaze and mumbled a gruff "Sorry."

Liz's tone softened. "Michael, it's ok. One good thing that came out of this is we know what will happen now if there's no info fed to the crystal. Speaking of which" Liz once again began to chew on her bottom lip. "Maybe it's because we haven't programmed a destination, so it just powered back down. But" and Liz pepped up. "This just means we need to think this through first." She shot a pointed look at Michael, who avoided her gaze. "But it's definitely a fixable problem. Just give me a bit to ponder. I'm sure I can come up with something. Max had confidence that I'd be able to figure this out, so we'll just have to have confidence too." At that she bent and pulled the crystal out of the granolith and slid it into her pocket. She then glanced at her watch. "Well, if we're not gonna be traveling back in time today, I guess I'll have to get back to the crashdown in time for my shift."

Michael grudgingly agreed, but sent one last longing look at the granolith before following her out of the chamber.

~.~.~.~

All day at work, Liz pondered the possibilities of how to get the granolith to work, but every solution she came up with was just as quickly discarded. She was starting to feel a little frustrated and the hopeful looks Michael kept shooting at her from the pickup window weren't exactly helping her thought processes.

At some point, what seemed to Liz like the longest day in history finally ended and it was finally closing time. Liz and Michael worked in silence cleaning the restaurant and found themselves the last people there. By silent agreement, when they were done they both sat down in a booth to talk. Liz started before Michal could ask if she'd figured anything out yet.

"Look Michael, I was thinking . . . Maybe we should tell Isabel, Kyle and Maria about this. They might have some ideas about how to get the crystal to work . . . " and she trailed off at the look on his face.

"Yeah, ok. So we just announce to them that you had a vision of all of us dying . . ."

"-not Maria-" she interrupted.

"-of all of us dying and that the world will most likely end if we don't somehow figure out how to travel back in time and change it" he said sarcastically.

"Well, when you put it that way it just sounds ridiculous . . . and terrifying" she conceded. "But look Michael, it's no worse than what we've already faced. And if there's any possibility that they might be able to help, how can we not tell them? This effects them too, you know."

Michael dragged his hand down his face wearily and sighed, suddenly feeling very tired. "I know" he replied. "Look, ok, I just don't want to worry everyone unnecessarily" and he held up his hand to ward off the protest he could see was about to come from Liz. "I don't want to worry them unnecessarily if there's even a _possibility_ that we can figure this out without them. It's just, things have already been so hard for everyone, you know?"

At that, Liz dropped her gaze and nodded. No one knew better than her how hard things had been lately.

"So ok" Michael said, trying to distract Liz from her thoughts. "How about you sleep on it tonight? Who knows, maybe you'll get another visit from that mystery dreamwalker of yours. And if we're no closer to an answer tomorrow, we'll tell them everything. Ok?"

"Ok" Liz replied, thinking that it sounded like as good a plan as any. She began to rise from the booth. "So ok, if that's decided, I'm gonna turn in. It's been a really long day."

"Yeah, I know what you mean" Michael said as he followed her through to the breakroom. "I'll see you tomorrow Liz. Make sure you lock this door behind me" he said as he stepped out of the back door and into the alley.

"Drive home safely Michael, I'll see you tomorrow" she replied and watched him walk over to Maria's car and get in. She waited until he had started the car then closed the door and locked it.

She knew she'd have no trouble getting to sleep, because she felt like she hadn't slept in days. She flipped off the lights and wearily climbed the steps to their apartment and just barely finished getting ready for bed before she fell into her bed and into a deep sleep.

~.~.~.~

_Once again, she was sitting out on her balcony with no knowledge of how she'd come to be there._

_Was this a dream?_

_"Yes it is, my child. I brought you here because there is still much to tell you" the now familiar voice floated to her._

_"Can you tell me how to work the granolith?" Liz asked immediately._

_"Of course. But first you need to know about time . . ."_

_"What about it?" Liz asked._

_"All of you. Your time is running out. There is not much left now . . . You are not long for this reality . . . None of us are . . ."_

_"What does that mean? What does any of this mean?" Liz cried, frustrated with all the non-information._

_"My child, calm down. Everything will be explained . . . But you should know that the enemy is close . . . closer than they've ever been. And they have or will soon have all the information they need. There isn't much you can do here anymore, but you can go back and make sure that this reality never happens."_

_"That vision . . . D-do you mean I can't prevent my friends from d-dying here?"_

_"Yes, that's exactly what I mean."_

_Liz let out an anguished cry._

_"Liz . . . you must focus on moving backwards, the rest will take care of itself."_

_"How? How do you know all of this?"_

_"I just do" was the elusive answer Liz received._

_"Why is this happening now? This didn't happen the first time right?" Liz asked._

_"No. In that other timeline, it took fourteen years for your enemies to be organized enough to attack and win. But in this timeline, since they know the King is gone, it has made them bold . . ."_

_Liz tried to gather her thoughts. "So how, how do we get the granolith to work?"_

_"You. You must work the granolith. You must be the one to go back."_

_"But . . . but Michael has powers . . . He can go to Max . . ."_

_"You were the one who changed things in this reality. You are the one who will have to change them back. Anyone else who tries will fail . . . "_

_Absorbing that information and frightful that the dream might end before she found out everything she needed to know, she asked "So how do I get the granolith to work?"_

_"You have to impart the information through your powers to the crystal."_

_Liz balked. "Powers? I don't have any powers."_

_"Yes, you do, my child. Even now they lay dormant below the surface. Can't you feel the changes inside yourself? The energy that moves around inside you?"_

_Liz sat back, stunned and tried to assess herself. She realized there was a restless energy inside of her now, but she had never really noticed it before._

_"But I don't understand" she said out into the night. "Where did I get these powers? What am I capable of? How do I use them?"_

_"I can only tell you what you need to know. And that is that all of your questions will be answered in time. You will know how to use your powers when the need for them arises."_

_Liz's head was spinning with all of this new information._

_"But you have to know Liz . . . You've not a long time to live . . . The ones that will kill you? You cannot hope to defeat them. None of you can, not without Zan. And when the time comes, your body will not be in a state to use the granolith. Only your essence will be able to go . . ."_

_"I don't understand! I'm about to die? Then how will I go back?" Liz cried desperately._

_"You will need to separate your essence from your body and send it into the granolith. Rath will help you. Just recall what Zan did a long time ago with someone you loved before she died . . . "_

_"Who? Who are you talking about?"_

_"You already know Liz . . . Just see with your heart and you will have all of the answers you need . . ."_

_Her voice was already fading away and Liz knew it was too late to ask any more questions . . ._

~.~.~.~

She woke from the dream suddenly. Sitting up in bed, the name just tumbled from her lips:

_"Grandma Claudia"_


	9. Feel like letting go

**Chapter 9: I feel like letting go**

Liz remembered it all. She remembered when her Grandmother had been in the hospital after having a stroke and she had begged Max to heal her. He had been unable to, saying that what was happening to her Grandmother was natural and his powers couldn't alter that. But he had managed to get her Grandmother outside of her body so that she and Liz could talk one last time before she died. And suddenly she knew that that was how Michael would be able to get her essence into the granolith.

She sat up in bed, glancing at the clock . . . 7:05. She jumped up to get ready for the day, knowing there was much to do and if Michael was in any way predictable, he would be there soon.

She got ready quickly and headed outside to her balcony to wait.

True to form, Michael's head appeared over the railing about 5 minutes later and she jumped up.

Michael was surprised with the impatience radiating off of Liz, but underlying that he also sensed dread. Before he could say anything, Liz spoke.

"Michael, we have to go, there isn't a lot of time and we have to get started." He was about to ask when she said "I'll tell you along the way," hustling him back towards the railing.

Michael let her shove him but grumbled "Ok, fine, but I _have_ to have some coffee and at least a donut before we head out of here."

Liz opened her mouth to protest, but closed it since they'd need all the energy they could get if her visitor last night was correct. So she acquiesced, Michael headed downstairs, and she went back inside to come down from the apartment. She bumped into her Dad coming from the storage room in back.

"Oh, Lizzie! I need for you to make a delivery for me to Bitter Lake. It's really important that we get the old smoothie machine there this morning if we want it fixed by the end of the week."

"But Dad" she protested, "I have some things to do today that are kind of important . . ." she trailed off as she saw the pleading look on her father's face.

"Lizzie, please . . . I wouldn't ask you to do it if there were any one else that could! . . . Look, if you do this for me, I'll find someone to take over your shift for this evening. How about that?" he asked imploringly.

Liz relented, figuring that they could continue to the pod chamber from there. "Ok, Dad, I guess I'll get Michael to drive me there since he has Maria's car this week, so your car will still be here if you need it for anything."

"Great Liz. Thanks!" he said as he squeezed her shoulder and then headed to the storage room.

Liz resignedly headed through to the Crashdown to find Michael standing at the counter, obviously picking up take-out orders for both of them.

"Ok so, change of plans" she said, perching on a stool. "We have to make a delivery for my dad to Bitter Lake. Can you move the car to the back door so we can load Samantha inside?"

Michael squinted at her. "Samantha? Who's Samantha?"

"The old smoothie machine. Maria named her when she first started working here." Liz smiled fondly at the memory. "Anyway, we have to get moving. We don't have a lot of time."

Michael grunted and headed out with their bags and Liz met him around back and soon they were on their way to Bitter Lake with 'Samantha' safely tucked away in the back seat.

Liz spent the rest of the ride telling Michael about her dream and he was as visibly shaken as she expected him to be. As she had been until she had accepted the reality of the situation. He wasn't too happy about her being the one that had to go back, but he reluctantly accepted it.

Shortly after Liz finished summarizing what she'd learned in her dream, they arrived at the repair shop in Bitter Lake. They dropped the machine off and were quickly back on the road to the pod chamber.

"So ok, I still don't get it. How do we get the information into the crystal?" Michael asked, puzzled.

"Like this." And Liz pulled the crystal out of her pocket, concentrated for a moment, and the crystal glowed a bright red and then returned to clear in her hand.

The car swerved and horns honked around them. "Holy Hell! What the hell did you just do?" Michael exclaimed, wrestling the car back into their lane and focusing forward.

"I sent information into the crystal. Now it knows to send my essence back to April 5th of this year at 7:45 p.m." Liz said confidently.

Michael ran a hand through his hair, clearly rattled. "Just like that?"

"Just like that" she agreed.

"But how did you know what to do?" he asked.

"I just knew" she shrugged. She couldn't explain it any better than that. Suddenly this morning she'd known lots of things. It's like she'd had the answers all along, she just had never realized it before.

Michael accepted her answer, realizing through the strange link he had with her that she was explaining the best way she knew how. He could even sense it in her, this new confidence.

"So we're all gonna die, huh?" he asked softly. "Your vision is gonna come true?"

Liz glanced over at him somberly. "Yeah" she said. "But Michael, I promise to fix this. We're going to fix this. But I think we need to let Isabel and Kyle know, so that they're at least on alert. I think we should have them meet us at the pod chamber."

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea, considering what's going to happen. And since Maria wasn't in your vision, we'll just have to assume that she's going to be ok."

"Yeah" she swallowed, trying not to think about her friend being left here alone. If she succeeded, this reality wouldn't even exist anymore.

She held up her phone. "I'm going to call Kyle and Isabel now."

She dialed the Valenti residence. No one answered. So she tried Kyle's cell phone.

"Hello?"

"Kyle it's Liz, where are you?"

"Isabel and I are on our way to Hondo. They're having some sort of carnival and only Buddha knows why, but Isabel wanted to go." There was a muffled "Ow!" when Isabel punched him in the arm.

"Look" Liz began. "Forget about that, you need to meet me and Michael at the pod chamber, pronto. Ok?"

Kyle tensed. "What's this about Liz?"

"It's too much to explain over the phone. Just meet us there, ok?"

He exhaled slowly. "Yeah, ok."

"What was that about?" Isabel asked as he hung up.

"I don't know" Kyle said. "Liz wants us to meet her and Michael at the pod chamber. But it's not good, I could tell that from her tone." He checked the oncoming lane and seeing that it was clear, made a quick u-turn to head back towards Roswell.

Isabel was about to answer when her cell phone rang.

Looking at the caller id, she saw it was from home.

"Hello?"

"Isabel, honey, I'm glad I caught you!" her mother said. "Where are you now?"

"Well, actually, Kyle and I are headed back to Roswell as we speak."

"Really, honey? 'Cause I'm in a bit of a pickle here. I'm stuck waiting for the electrician, but I really need this prescription from the pharmacy. Do you think you can pick it up for me?"

"Of course Mom, I'll pick it up for you, no problem."

"But . . ." Kyle began. Isabel clamped a hand over his mouth and continued her conversation with her Mom.

"Ok Mom, I'll see you in a little bit . . . Uhm hmm . . . Love you too . . . Bye!" Isabel removed her hand from Kyle's mouth and spoke before he could. "Yes, I know, we're supposed to meet Michael and Liz, but my Mom really needs her prescription. It'll only take like 15 extra minutes really, right?"

"I guess" Kyle grudgingly agreed, uneasy although he wasn't sure why. So they headed back to town and immediately Kyle knew that something was wrong. There were cars parked in the middle of the streets, but there were no people in sight anywhere.

It was entirely too eerie and reminded him sharply of the last time this had happened when the Skins had taken over the town and made all the humans disappear. He and Isabel shared a worried look as he stopped the car behind a few haphazardly parked cars and they both got out. In silent agreement, they walked into the nearest store, which happened to be Mr. Henry's supermarket. There was no one at the registers. There was food on the check out counters and some even bagged up, but there was no one in sight anywhere.

"Hello?" Isabel called out.

No one answered.

Beginning to get antsy, Kyle grabbed Isabel's arm. "Yeah, let's get out of here." And he pulled Isabel out of the store, just as Nicholas was rounding a corner.

Isabel froze in shock as Nicholas and a group of Skins stopped just a few feet away from her and Kyle.

Nicholas looked like he could have clapped his hands, he was so pleased to see Isabel. "Ah, Velondra. I was hoping I'd bump into you. We'd heard the great King was dead and just _had_ to come see for ourselves" Nicholas said with a smirk on his face. "Nah uh uh" he said as he wagged a finger at her. At that, he used the device he was holding to erect a silver force field that effectively blocked Isabel's blast.

"No use trying to use your powers against me. They didn't work the last time, they won't work now."

"Why are you doing this?" Isabel gritted out.

"Aww, it's not so bad, is it? I've come to appreciate the quiet" Nicholas answered, still smirking.

Isabel's hand clenched into a fist in Kyle's grip, but Kyle just shook his head minutely.

Nicholas continued doing his impression of an evil supervillain, to Kyle's great annoyance. "Don't worry about the humans, we've sent them away, permanently this time. Even as we speak the signal is stretching far and wide, ridding this planet of the plague known as _humanity_." The smirk slid from his face and he glared at the hold Kyle had on Isabel's arm. His voice turned cold enough to drip icicles. "And this time none of you will be around long enough to try to fix it." And he raised his hand with the alien device again.

Kyle had been seemingly paralyzed, but at this he grabbed Isabel and began to run back towards the car.

They almost made it.

Suddenly Isabel screamed and nearly fell beside him. He grabbed her around the waist and nearly dragged her to the car, pushed her inside and then jumped behind the wheel beside her. He started the car up, reversed and hightailed it out of there.

Focused on the rearview and cursing a bluestreak, he only noticed when his hand slid slippery on the wheel that there was blood on it. He stared at it and then turned to Isabel and nearly lost it when he saw the amount of blood that was soaking into her shirt and jeans. "Isabel?" he breathed.

"Kyle, I . . ." Isabel tried to speak around the pain, but it felt like her insides were coming apart.

Kyle began to pull over so that he could assess the damage, but Isabel shook her head violently and even nearly curled over in pain, she still managed to grab the wheel, holding it steady and not allowing Kyle to pull off the road. They hadn't put enough distance between themselves and the Skins to be safe yet and they both knew it.

Kyle kept driving but he grabbed Isabel's hand and held on, begging her to hold on until they got to Michael and Liz. And Isabel's strong grip let him know that she was still with him. He drove like a madman all the way to the podchamber, the skins in pursuit but falling behind and for a while he was convinced, against all odds, that everything would be ok. But Isabel's hand fell limp in his as he made the turn off to the podchamber. He let the car coast to a stop, hand tightening on the wheel, even as his other hand shifted around Isabel's wrist to her pulse point, not looking, _he didn't want to see_, hoping for a pulse, even a faint one. He let her wrist go carefully when he didn't find one. When he finally looked over, he could see that Isabel's features had relaxed in death. She would have looked peaceful if not for all the blood covering her and the seat.

_Oh god._

He stumbled from the car and retched in the dirt next to it, one hand braced on the driver's door.

Liz calling to him and then yanking him towards the podchamber was the next thing he registered, having lost time for a while. He could hear the sound of a vehicle approaching so he let her lead him away from Isabel, but he still looked back one last time.

When Kyle's car had come skidding off the roadway, then coasted to a stop outside the podchamber, both Liz and Michael had waited for Kyle and Isabel to emerge. When only Kyle stumbled out, Liz inhaled sharply and when he bent over, throwing up in the sand, Liz started running towards him. Michael stood confused, waiting for Isabel to hop out too.

Isabel didn't move.

The red on Kyle's hand stood out starkly against the paleness of his skin, Liz was yanking Kyle forward and _Isabel wasn't moving_.

Michael started shaking.

Liz pulled Kyle forward and he let her. Looking shellshocked, he glanced back at Isabel once and his features crumbled.

_~*The winter here's cold*~  
__~*And bitter*~_

When they were level with Michael, Liz began pushing him forward too.

_~*It's chilled us to the bone*~_

"Liz, no. _No_. There was supposed to be time" Michael protested, voice breaking as he tugged his arm loose and turned back towards Kyle's car and _Isabel._

_~*We haven't seen the sun for weeks*~_

"We have to get inside Michael. _Please_" Liz begged, trying to get him moving, trying not to start _sobbing_, and keep Kyle moving towards the door to the podchamber.

_~*Too long, too far from home*~_

The grief hit Michael so suddenly he almost collapsed, but Liz's hand curled around his and she squeezed. "Please Michael, we have to get inside" she said softly, tugging.

_~*I feel just like I'm sinking*~_

A car pulled off of the highway, kicking up dust in its wake as it sped towards them and Liz tugged frantically.

_~*And I claw for solid ground*~_

Michael nodded numbly and started forward.

_~*I'm pulled down by the undertow*~_

The car stopped and Nicholas and a group of skins jumped out.

_~*I never thought I could feel so low*~_

Liz pulled harder and they all scrambled up the rocks, the podchamber seemingly within reach now.

_~*And oh darkness I feel like letting go*~_

Michael fired a blast at Nicholas that hit the skins closest to him when they pushed him out of the way. There was so much rage and grief fueling the blast that they crashed into the rocks hard enough to leave indentations before they went up in puffs of dry skin.

_~*All of the strength and all of the courage*~  
__~*Come and lift me up from this place*~_

Michael smiled grimly and was about to fire another blast when there was a flash of light and then he was hit with something that felt like _fire._

_~*I know I can love you much better than this*~_

It felt like his insides were boiling and he folded over as he stumbled forward.

_~*It's better this way, I said*~  
__~*Having seen this place before*~_

Liz turned and threw her hand out, a faint blue shield flickering around them but Nicholas's device cut right through it to Kyle who Liz was still pulling forwards and Kyle collapsed without a sound.

_~*Where everything we say and do*~_  
_~*Hurts us all the more*~_

Liz gasped and almost dropped with him but when she looked, Kyle's eyes had frozen open in death.

_~*It's just that we stayed, too long*~_  
_~*In the same old sickly skin*~_

A sob did escape then, but she swallowed the ones that wanted to follow and grabbed Michael, dropping the shield and taking on most of his weight as they stumbled their way to the entrance.

_~*I'm pulled down by the undertow*~_

Nicholas called up to them "You know you can't win, right? We already have what we want. The Royal Four dead and the granolith delivered right into our hands."

_~*I never thought I could feel so low*~_

At that he aimed another blast and Liz pushed Michael out of the way, where he stumbled into the wall of the podchamber. The blast struck Liz square in the back and she hiccuped a gasp at the pain, bracing one hand on the ground when she faltered.

_~*And oh darkness I feel like letting go*~_

She looked up in time to see Michael raise his hand and put it over the handprint. He yanked her forwards and they nearly fell inside.

_~*All of the strength and all of the courage*~_  
_~*Come and lift me up from this place*~_

Michael made sure the door closed behind them, using his rapidly waning powers to seal the door so that it wouldn't open again and they made their way to the granolith, using each other for support and nearly crawling the last few steps.

_~*It's better this way*~_

Liz collapsed against the side of the granolith and the whole chamber shook from Nicholas firing blasts trying to get inside.

When she fumbled, Michael took the crystal from her and inserted it in its slot. He grabbed her hand and concentrated and Liz's body went limp. He thought she had died, but then he heard his name.

He looked up and saw an ethereal Liz standing beside the granolith just as the crystal turned red and the sounds around them became louder.

"Michael, it's gonna be ok. I promise to fix this. And thank you."

"For what?" Michael gasped, his vision darkening.

"_For being my friend_" she replied. And then a light shot through the granolith and he was knocked backwards. The last thing he saw before darkness claimed him was a swirling light bouncing around Liz inside the granolith and then she was gone.

_~*It's better this way*~_

~.~.~.~

Liz felt as if she were flying, everything was moving so fast. Then suddenly, she was sitting at her desk in her room looking at her computer screen and a single thought was moving through her head:

_She was home._

~.~.~.~

_Lyrics from "Full of Grace" by Sarah McLachlan_


	10. Where the heart is

**Chapter 10: Where the heart is**

Amazed, Liz stood up . . . and immediately felt the room tilt sideways.

She sat back down heavily in her seat.

**_Note to self:_**_ Traveling back in time? Not good for the equilibrium._

Grabbing hold of her desk, feeling like the room might spin out around her, she closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths, recognizing that this must be a side effect of her trip through time. But a chance to fix the future vs. unknown side effects of time travel? Fair trade in Liz's book.

Sudden doubt rose that that it had actually worked. Who knew what time she'd arrived in? What if she'd come back too late? Her eyes snapped open and she was relieved that the room was now right side up and staying that way. She hurriedly reached for the mouse to her computer and clicked on the calender tool. And there it was, clear as day: _April 5th 2002_ . . . Almost 3 weeks before Max and Alex died.

Max!

_Max is still alive!_

That's when she realized she could actually feel his presence again. She had to catch herself for a wholly different reason when she realized she could feel their connection again.

She took a deep breath and then grabbed her jacket and climbed out of the window to her balcony, knowing immediately where she had to go first.

She made it to Max's house in 10 minutes, faster than should have been possible, but when she arrived she instinctively bypased the front door and walked around to his bedroom window.

She got her first view of Max (alive!) seconds later and her breath left her in a rush. He was sitting (he was breathing), he was _here._ She was feeling so many contrasting emotions that she almost felt dizzy again, and took a quick breath to steady herself.

She was about to raise her hand and knock, anticipating the second he would turn and see her and their gazes would lock, when he leaned forward from his position sitting cross-legged on his bed. Liz stepped a little to her left and saw Tess sitting on the bed with him. And before she could turn away, they began to embrace.

She had somehow forgotten this part . . . Forgetten how close Max and Tess had gotten before everything happened. But now it came rushing back to her; suffocating her with memories.

Liz pushed away from Max's window and started walking blindly, only now recognizing how much more complicated this whole thing was than she'd thought. Back in that other future, the plan had seemed simple: Keep Max and Alex alive and keep Tess as far away from the group as possible. But Tess was so tangled up in their group that extricating her without danger to anyone she cared about seemed easier said than done. She'd been back less than an hour now and yet the whole situation had just gotten a lot more complicated.

Liz sighed, so tired she could curl into a ball right there and sleep for _days._

But she didn't, _couldn't._ She had a mission to complete here and it was now abundantly clear that she'd need help to accomplish it.

But who? Who could she lay this heavy burden on? She ran through a mental list of her friends as she continued to walk aimlessly . . . She couldn't go to Maria because she'd most likely freak once Liz told her the horrible things that had happened in that future . . . Alex was too close to Tess since Liz had to assume Tess was still using him for that alien translation . . . Kyle was also too close to Tess since he lived in the same house with her . . . And Isabel lived in the same house as Max so she was automatically discounted.

_So Michael it is . . ._

She took stock of where she was and then blinked, recognizing Michael's neighborhood. Apparently she'd been heading towards his place all along. Her subconscious must have arrived at a similar conclusion long before she clued into the decision. She started towards his apartment but reminded herself that this was the old, tough, abrasive Michael. Not the one she'd dealt with before who was more in touch with his emotions because of grief. And in light of that, she had no idea what she was going to say to him when she got there.

Before she knew it, she had arrived at his door; still with no idea what she'd say. She recognized though, that planning wasn't gonna make this easier. There really wasn't an easy way to tell _anyone_ what she had to tell him so no point overthinking it.

And as she stood outside his apartment door, she could hear him inside:

_"Maria, I'm not gonna change my mind about . . . but . . . you . . . still . . . Whatever!"_ and she heard something that sounded like him slamming the phone down.

Yeah, Maria never did let anybody get a word in edgewise when she was upset, Liz thought fondly as she raised her hand to knock. Before her fist could make contact though, Michael threw the door open and nearly bowled Liz over, so intent on getting out of his apartment. The scowl on his face barely changed once he realized who had been standing on the other side of his door.

"Sheez, Liz, what are you doing here?" Michael grunted, stepping back but crossing his arms and effectively blocking the entrance to his apartment.

Liz looked at him and wondered if this were a bad idea. This really wasn't the Michael that she'd known. Would he even listen? Liz shook her head because she'd just have to _make_ him listen. All of their lives depended on her being able to do this, so there was no point in second guessing herself now.

Michael's scowl just deepened at Liz's silence. He was already irritated over the fight with Maria; he was really not in the mood to deal with Liz and whatever her drama of the week was.

Instead of answering, Liz pushed her way past him into the apartment and Michael's scowl deepened as he followed her in and shut the door. "Michael, I need to talk to you."

"You need to talk to me? What about?" he grunted. He perched on the arm of his sofa and once again folded his arms, really just wanting to go and ride his motorcycle and blow off some steam.

Liz fidgeted and then began to pace; door to kitchen counter to door again.

She stopped and inhaled deeply. "Michael, there's a situation brewing that will soon get out of control if we don't do something about it."

Michael still looked skeptical. "Ok?"

"Look, I don't know how to say this so I'm just going to say it. I . . . I know the future. I know what's going to happen. And I know that on April 23rd, about two and a half weeks from now, both Max and Alex will die if we don't prevent it from happening."

Michael blinked and then his mouth twisted unbelievingly. _"What?"_

Liz shook her head. "I know, Michael. It doesn't make sense. But let me explain . . ."

Michael sat back down on the arm of the couch and looked over at her doubtfully.

"Ok, continue" he conceded, curious despite himself.

So Liz sat on the other end of the sofa facing him. "Okay, so you're never going to believe this, but I'm going to say it anyway. And in order for any of it to make sense I need to start at the beginning, which would mean we need to go back to October . . ."

And as she recounted the story of Future Max and the end of the world, she watched various expressions flicker across his face: incredulity, disbelief, amazement, shock, and then the familiar scowl settled over his face again.

"So ok" he began after she finished and she resumed her pacing. "Let's suspend belief for a moment here and suppose what you say is true." He held up a hand at Liz's attempt to protest. "Why come to me? Why not go to Max? Or Isabel? Or hell, even Maria? Why come to me?"

"Because you helped me the first time" she said softly as she stopped pacing for a minute and looked him right in the eye.

Michael blinked, surprised at the sadness on Liz's face. He was momentarily taken aback until what she'd said sunk in.

"Why should I believe you? Why should I believe any of this is anything more than an elaborate tale you've made up to try to explain away sleeping with Kyle now that Max and Tess are getting closer?" He saw hurt flicker briefly across her face and felt bad about what he'd just said. But just as quickly as the look came, it went, and determination took it's place.

Liz's jaw set as she looked across at him. "Ok, so you want me to prove it to you? I will. I know that you consider everyone in our group family even though you'd never admit it out loud. I know that you carry around a piece of metal from the crashed ship in your pocket. I know that you consider Maria your home. I know that Maria will hound you to take her to the prom and you'll refuse, but only because you don't know how to dance. But you'll get lessons and show up anyway. I know that after Max and Alex died, you stayed with Maria and helped her when she could barely stand alone." Liz exhaled shakily. "And I know that, in the future I came from, you helped me. I was completely lost after Max and Alex's deaths and . . . and I was ready to give up. And you . . . you pulled me back from the brink . . ." She blinked and met his eye again. "So Michael, I need your help again, ok? I know that behind that stone wall is an actual caring heart, so can we skip the bravado part of the conversation and get to the part where we figure out how to fix this?"

Michael blinked and simply nodded, too overwhelmed by all she'd just said to even begin to form an answer.

She sat back down and they both sat in silence for a while.

Michael's confusion made him break the silence. "So ok, if Max was alive 14 years in the future, then how is it possible for him to die in a couple of weeks, along with Alex?"

"Because the future I've come back from is not the same one Future Max was from. His future was him and I being together. The one I came from, the one we're in now, is the one that resulted from me changing things and pushing Max towards Tess."

"I'm here now because Future Max left something behind when he visited . . . A failsafe in case things didn't work out. And when things went terribly wrong in the new future, it allowed me to come back here and try again. Which brings me back to now . . ." and she once more got up and began to pace.

"I still don't get it" Michael said. "Why did Max and Alex die? What was so different that would cause this if they didn't die originally?"

Liz spat the name like it left a bad taste in her mouth.

_"Tess."_

"Tess is what happened. It seems that whether she stayed or left, she still had the ability to bring on the end of the world. She killed them. She killed both Max and Alex. She's been mindwarping Alex to interpret this book that will tell you all how to get home. Then after she made Alex shoot himself right in front of me, Max went after her and she killed him too."

Shock quickly turned to anger at her words. The fact that they had invited Tess into their group, had invited a traitor into their world . . .

Liz continued in a monotone. "After Max was dead, there was nothing stopping your enemies from attacking early, so that's what they did. They killed us all Michael."

Michael turned shocked eyes to her and met her deeply troubled ones. He noticed only now that he was willing to see it that her eyes seemed different now. They had a haunted look that he was pretty sure hadn't been there before. _Probably what happens when you see all your friends die_ he thought grimly. But then he actually registered all of what she'd just said. "Wait. If you died, how did you manage to come back?"

"Moments before I took my last breath there, you sent my essence into the granolith."

"Me? *I* did this? How?"

"It's this thing that I think can only be done when a person is near death. But it's a way to push a person's soul outside of their body. Max did it with my Grandma Claudia right before she died."

Digesting this new information, Michael's voice hardened as he asked "So what happened to Tess after she killed Max and Alex?"

"She apparently had planned all along to have Alex interpret the book and use the granolith to go home. But it didn't work. The granolith crashed and she ended up dead."

"*Death* Michael. That's what waits for all of us in a couple of months if we don't fix this now" she said solemnly. "I can't lose everybody this time Michael. I barely made it the last time. You have to help me. Help me change this" she pleaded.

"How long did you say we had?" Michael asked.

"Till April 23rd. D-day" she said grimly.

Just as Michael opened his mouth to say something else, someone began pounding on his apartment door and Maria's voice carried from the other side.

"Open up Guerin! I know you're in there; your motorcycle's outside!"

Michael's scowl reappeared as he rose and stepped over to the door, yanking it open. Maria stomped past him, already talking a mile a minute.

"Ok Michael, you can be difficult all you want, but you're going to have to face it sooner or later. We're in a *relationship*. And people in relationships do things. They actually go places together; You know, besides the back seat of my car and your apartment. Now I want to go to prom and *you* are going to take me!" she said as she poked him in the chest.

Leaning against the now closed door with his arms crossed, Michael winced, but waited for Maria to notice that there was another person in the room with them.

Maria finally paused to take a breath and looked at Michael to gauge his response. He simply smirked at her and tilted his head at something behind her, so she turned, following Michael's line of sight, and jumped a little when she noticed Liz sitting on his sofa looking uncomfortable.

"Liz! What are you doing here?"

Thinking fast, Liz said "I just stopped by to . . . to talk to Michael about, um, these new powers I may have. I- I got mad the other day and a mirror broke and I wanted to talk to someone about it" she finished lamely.

At this, Maria slapped Michael's arm.

"Ow! What'd I do?" he asked as he inched out of the line of fire.

"You and your alien conspirators changed my poor Lizzie into a walking, talking time bomb! You see chica?" she said pulling Liz up from the sofa, hooking arms with her and walking to the door. "This is what knowing aliens does for you. You end up either unknowingly altered or just generally annoyed." Still dragging a slightly bemused Liz beside her, Maria looked over her shoulder at Michael. "I'll deal with you later Spaceboy" and with that, she sauntered out of the apartment with Liz safely in tow.

Michael just shook his head as he closed the door behind them, figuring he'd have to catch Liz later since Hurricane Deluca had whisked her away.

~.~.~.~

As they climbed into Maria's car, Maria turned to her. "So how are you doing chica? You looked like you needed to be rescued in there, and that's what friends are for, right? So when did this mirror incident happen and how come you didn't tell me about it?"

Liz buckled her seatbelt and avoided Maria's eyes. She waved vaguely. "I was just seriously freaked is all. Anyway, what are you and Michael arguing about now? Looks like you were gonna let him have it if I hadn't been there" she said. As a diversion, it wasn't a bad one. Secretly though, she was pleased to get feisty Maria back. _It's been entirely too long_ she thought, determined to make sure that nothing happened to change Maria back into the grieving shell of a person she was in that other reality.

"Michael and I have been arguing about the prom. He insists that he's not going even though I tell him that he is. It's like this whole endless cycle thing." Maria waved her hands around as she talked, then working up steam as she started the car, she continued. "He is so infuriating! You'd think he'd know by now how important a prom is to a girl, but does he?" Not waiting for an answer, she continued. "Nooooo. He has to be difficult and ruin possibly one of my greatest high school memories."

Liz quickly wiped the smile off of her face as she turned to her friend. In this case, knowing the future might come in handy.

"Maria, I know it probably doesn't seem like it now, but I think all of this is gonna work out. I think Michael does know that junior prom is very important to you. He's probably just nervous over something ridiculous like having to dress up or not knowing how to dance or something . . ." Liz hoped she hadn't told Maria too much.

"You really think so?" Maria asked hopefully.

"Yeah, I do" Liz replied with a reassuring smile.

Just then they pulled up in front of the Crashdown.

"I'll see you tomorrow 'Ria" Liz said as she climbed out of Maria's car.

"Bye Liz" Maria said distractedly as she pondered what Liz had said.

Liz just shook her head as she walked into the Crashdown, just imagining what was going through Maria's head about Michael.

She made her way upstairs and to her bedroom realizing for the umpteenth time how exhausted she was, both physically and emotionally, from the days events. She began her nightly ritual and then climbed under the sheets for her first night of good sleep in a long time. And she was going to need it, she thought grimly, because tomorrow she would face her biggest challenge yet.

Tomorrow she had to go to school, face everyone, and pretend that everything was normal.

_Normal._

_~.~.~.~_


	11. What once went wrong

**Chapter 11: What once went wrong**

Liz woke up to her alarm the next morning feeling exhausted. If she didn't know better she'd think she hadn't slept at all. She sat up in bed, then immediately fell back as a wave of dizziness hit her.

_Not the way I wanted to start my day,_ she thought to herself as she threw her arm across her eyes, closed them tightly and waited for the dizziness to retreat.

This was a new day and she wanted to get started on the right foot. There were wrongs that needed to be put right. That's why she was back. But then she tensed, suddenly needing proof once again that she had indeed gone back in time; That all of this wasn't just a hope-filled dream that she'd just woken up from.

She sat up tentatively and thankfully found the dizziness gone. So she climbed out of bed and once again walked over to her computer to consult her calender tool.

_April 6th 2002. _

She exhaled the breath she didn't even know she was holding and relaxed. She went back to her bed and sat down on the edge and concentrated on her connection to Max. He was like a quiet humming all around her. It was nothing short of amazing really. She recognized that now. Spending all of that time without it, without him, made her realize how essential he was to her life. Even if they weren't together, she still needed him and right now she needed to save him from Tess.

_The future is to be determined . . ._

She remembered Future Max saying those words to her. At the time, she'd felt sadness when she heard them, but now they made her feel like anything was possible. Like she really could fix things . . .

"Lizzie?" her father knocked on her bedroom door. "Time to get up hon" he called as he walked past her room.

_Nothing like routine to make you feel at home,_ she thought and smiled. That smile stayed on her face throughout the rest of the morning; through getting ready for school, through breakfast, and through Maria picking her up.

"What's going on?" Maria asked after a doubletake. She had been so preoccupied with thoughts of Michael that she was just now noticing Liz's seemingly permanent smile. She glanced over at Liz again before hitting the turn signal for the school parking lot. "What are you smiling about?"

Liz turned her attention away from the passenger's side window. "What? Oh, nothing in particular. It just feels like it's gonna be a good day" Liz replied.

"Um hmm" Maria said, looking at Liz contemplatively. Something was definitely going on with her, though she had no idea what it was.

But just as they emerged from her car and she was about to question Liz further, the first bell rang, signalling that they had 5 minutes to make it to class. They hastily rushed to their lockers and then off in different directions hollering a quick "See you later" to each other.

They met up again in their next period. Maria came into class fuming and Liz could practically see the steam rising off of her head.

"You would not believe what that . . . that . . . *guy* did last period!"

Liz just raised a questioning eyebrow and waited for the rant to begin.

"Mr. Walt got called to the office, so I decide to try to work out this whole prom argument with Michael, right? So there I am, trying to be the bigger person, you know? So I don't fuss, or yell, or smack him in the head like I want to. No, I calmly and rationally approach the subject of prom. And you know what he says?"

Liz, knowing it can't be good, quickly shook her head.

"He said 'Not right now Maria, I've got bigger things to worry about'!"

Liz cringed. Although that was a totally true statement, it was a *really* bad move on Michael's part . . .

Maria mimicked " . . . not right now Maria . . . bigger things Maria . . ." Looking across at Liz, Maria prompted "Now I ask you Liz, what could possibly be more important than prom?"

At that exact moment, Max walked into class and Liz felt like all the air went out of the room. Faintly she heard Maria still talking in the background, but her attention was focused solely on Max. Her heart started pounding, her palms got sweaty and she could feel a thin film of perspiration break out on her forehead. She wanted to get up and run to him and never let go. Instead she sat there and clasped her hands together tightly in her lap and willed herself to stay seated.

Max stepped into the room and looked around, as if searching for something. Then his eyes met hers and locked. Everything else seemed to fade away at that moment. An eternity seemed to pass between them, while Max's eyes transmitted unspoken words of heart break and love, Liz's gaze spoke of pain, loss, love and grief. Max's expression turned puzzled. But just then a hand snaked out and grabbed his arm, pulling his attention away from Liz.

The spell was broken.

Liz saw Tess take the space beside Max, looking up at him adoringly. His eyes would no longer meet Liz's as he allowed Tess to pull him into the room. They sat in the row in front of Maria and Liz.

Liz noticed that Maria had grown silent.

Max mumbled a barely discernible "hey" while Tess greeted them with an exuberant "Hey guys!" as she turned back to them. Maria scowled at her and Liz barely got "hey" out before she felt like gagging.

Just then the second bell rung and Mrs. Henry started in on the day's lesson, so Tess turned to face forward again.

Liz felt like the room was shrinking and closing in on her. She couldn't, she couldn't _breathe._ She quickly raised her hand and asked for a bathroom pass and avoided the curious looks she knew were on everyone's faces as she rushed out of the room.

She made it as far as around the corner from class before she collapsed against a locker and buried her head in her hands. She was feeling so many emotions she couldn't even begin to sort them out. She felt angry, bitter, afraid and alone, but most of all, and she hated to admit it, she felt . . . defeated. Like she was fighting a battle she was doomed to lose.

In another time, Tess had killed her love and her best friend . . . and she'd been powerless to stop it.

She fought the images of finding Max dead in the pod chamber and Alex in a pool of blood. She shook her head violently, trying to dislodge the memories.

_Why?_ she screamed in her mind. She hadn't been able to stop it then, what was supposed to make this time so different? Foreknowledge? And what was she supposed to do? Was the solution to kill Tess? Was she even capable of taking a life? Even Tess's? And would her actions make things better . . . or worse?

In Future Max's timeline, without Tess the world ended.

Suddenly she was assaulted by the image of her bloodied hands after Alex's death. She shook her head violently again. She was afraid . . . afraid of what inaction might cost her, cost them all. She was afraid she wasn't capable of killing Tess . . . but she was also afraid that she was . . .

Once again the fate of the world was in her hands . . . and she was terrified. So she let the tears fall.

"Hey, hey, it's ok Liz" she heard and looked up to see a concerned Michael coming toward her. Liz looked away, ashamed to be caught sobbing on the floor when she was supposed to be strong enough to handle this. Michael put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

The flashes started immediately.

***Flash***

_Alex waving a gun at Tess and then looking shocked when he starts turning the gun towards himself. Tess callously pushing Liz out of the way after the gun goes off._

***Flash***

_Liz kneeling beside Alex, tears streaming as she pleaded, hand immersed in the wound in his chest, attempting to stem a tide that wasn't flowing . . . Alex's wound wasn't pumping out blood . . . His heart had probably stopped beating almost immediately. That realization being buried because she just couldn't accept that he was gone . . ._

***Flash***

_Liz watching hopefully and then deflating when Max tells her that he can't heal Alex. Arms wrapping around herself, rocking in place, Liz retreats into her mind, unable to deal with this as a reality._

***Flash***

_Max slumped against the wall of the pod chamber with wide unseeing eyes, a silver handprint burned into his chest and Liz screaming at Michael as he tries to pull her away from Max's body._

***Flash***

_The repetitive sound of the shovel displacing sand as Michael digs a hole to lay Max to rest in the desert outside the pod chamber._

***Flash***

_Liz standing in her bedroom looking numbly in the mirror at the dried blood on her clothes and hands before someone steers her away and speaks to her softly about getting cleaned up._

***End Flash***

Liz pulled jerkily away from Michael's hand on her shoulder. "Don't touch me!" she cried. Then without looking at him, still trying to get her breathing under control she panted "I'm sorry Michael, I . . . I'm sorry!" and she sprinted away from him down the hall.

Neither of them noticed Isabel step back out of sight from where she'd been walking at the opposite end of the hall.

Michael looked after Liz in shock and then slumped down against the lockers, head in his hands, in much the same posture he'd found Liz in. He felt like Liz's grief had torn him in two. That other timeline she'd come from had felt like hell in those brief glimpses he'd seen and he couldn't imagine how she'd survived it. Hell, he'd only experienced about 10 seconds of it and that felt like too much. And all of this came about because of that conniving bitch Tess. She'd caused all of that grief and sadness.

_Something definitely had to be done about Tess._

Liz didn't return to her History class. She'd made her way outside and sat until her head felt clearer. But she couldn't get the image of a deceptive Tess turning to them and smiling out of her head, so she knew she wouldn't be returning to class.

She decided that the best place to start sorting out this mess was with Max, so she waited outside of class for him to come out. The bell rang, and she shifted her weight from one foot to the other anxiously as people began filing out. Maria spotted her and came over, handing her her things. "Liz! What happened to you? How come you didn't come back to class?"

Liz was still trying to see around her and spot Max."I'll tell you later Maria. Right now I have to talk to Max." And Maria, with her own Spaceboy issues at the moment, squeezed her arm in understanding and walked off to her next class.

As Liz turned back to the rapidly emptying classroom, she spotted Max and Tess coming out together. Her stomach turned over but she ignored it and called out to Max. He turned to her and so did Tess. Liz said softly. "Um, Max, can I talk to you privately for a minute?"

Max's face registered surprise briefly before he answered. "Sure. Tess, I'll catch up with you later." Tess looked reluctant to leave as she looked from Max to Liz, but after a seconds hesitation, she turned and soon blended in with all of the other students trying to make it to their classes before the second bell rang.

"Um, follow me" Liz said awkwardly.

She led Max to an empty classroom and closed the door behind them. That's when she noticed Max was grimacing and rubbing his head.

She began reaching forward before she was even aware she was doing it but her hand dropped to her side before Max noticed. "Max, are you ok?" she settled for asking.

"Yeah" he said, looking up. "It's just this headache I keep getting off and on, but I'm ok." He shook his head. "What did you want to talk to me about?"

"Right" she said nervously. "Um, I wanted to talk to you about . . ." and she hesitated " . . . Tess" she finally got out and saw him stiffen.

"What about her?" he asked defensively.

"Max, you . . . we can't trust her. She's going to betray you Max. She's going to betray us all . . ." Liz's voice trailed off at the hard look that had appeared on Max's face.

He looked at Liz disbelievingly, but didn't say anything for a moment, as if he were trying to get his emotions under control. When he finally did speak, it was with quiet anger. "So I can't trust _Tess_? _She's_ going to betray me?" Liz didn't miss the inflection in his words and flinched at their implication. Max seemed not to notice as he continued. "And how is she going to betray me Liz? Is she going to sleep with Kyle too?"

She flinched again. She couldn't believe Max was speaking to her like this. Was this the anger he'd held in since seeing her and Kyle pretend to sleep together? She opened her mouth to try to explain. "Max I . . ."

He interrupted before she could continue. "All Tess has ever done is stand by me. She's been there when I needed her." He glared at her pointedly. "And now you're telling me I can't trust her? Well, how do I know I can trust _you_? You slept with Kyle, Liz. Kyle! And yeah, I forgave you for that, but I can't forget it.

"And now that I'm _finally_ moving on like you wanted me to not so long ago, now you tell me that it's wrong? So what is it Liz? What is it about Tess that you think you know? Did you look into your crystal ball? Or did a little birdy tell you she can't be trusted? What is it Liz?" he said advancing upon her. "What? Or is it that you don't want to be with me, but you don't want me to be with anyone else either?" he spat out bitterly. "Well, you wanted me to move on. Deal with it." And he moved past her and out of the classroom.

Liz stood in shock as the force of Max's words hit like fists. But she fought it. Fought the grief that threatened to overwhelm her at his words. This wasn't about her and Max. This was about saving his life . . . his and Alex's. So she rushed out of the classroom to go after him, but he was already gone.

She made it to her next class, but just barely. And all through it, she felt further away from her goal in coming back here. Deciding on a course of action, she planned to talk to Max at lunchtime. She grimaced, echoes of Max's words flitting through her head . . . She needed the time to regroup anyway.

Time seemed to pass slowly as Mr. Robbins went on and on about formulas and theorems and Liz exhaled loudly when the bell finally rung, signalling the end of class.

She rushed to her locker to get her lunch, then rushed out to the quad to wait for Max. Michael was already sitting at their table. Her footsteps faltered when she saw him, but she determinedly made herself continue. Before he could say anything, Liz set her lunch down across from him, although she couldn't bring herself to meet his eyes. "Michael, I'm sorry. I never meant for you to see . . . No one should ever have to see . . . " She found it hard to continue.

Michael just shook his head. "Liz, it's ok. It's not your fault."

"But Michael it is. I knew my emotions were too close to the surface. I should have stopped you before you touched me. It's all of these new powers. It's just overwhelming and . . . "

"Liz, it really is ok. Would you stop worrying about this so we can start figuring out what to do next?" he said gruffly.

She met his eyes and found no blame in them, so she nodded. She stated softly "I . . . I tried to talk to Max earlier, but he just got mad at me for suggesting that Tess was bad and wouldn't listen to anything else I had to say."

"Well, you know what I say? I say I catch Tess in a dark corner and just blast her into oblivion. We can worry about explanations later" Michael said evenly.

"Ok Michael, as crazy as that sounds, I did consider something similar, but what if . . ." she trailed off because across the quad, coming towards them, was _Alex!_

His head was down and he was obviously looking for something in his backpack. Liz's eyes filled with tears. Alex was alive! She fought the urge to run to him and assure herself he was ok. Michael looked over his shoulder to see what had captured Liz's attention and saw Alex. He turned back as he felt a lump in his own throat remembering the visions from the flashes. He reached across and patted Liz's hand, Liz looked at him surprised, then smiled at the sympathetic look he was giving her. She was also relieved that he hadn't gotten any more flashes from her. "We're gonna fix this Liz. It won't happen again" Michael said quietly.

"What won't happen again?" Alex asked curiously as he stepped up to their table. Michael withdrew his hand and picked up his sandwich, starting his lunch.

"Oh nothing" Liz replied as she blinked tears away.

"Alex, what are you looking for?" she asked curiously as he continued to go through his bag.

"My lunch" he replied as he sat down. "I thought I put it in here this morning, but I must not have" he said as he rummaged through his backpack one more time.

"Well, it's ok" she replied. "I have enough to share." She reached in her bag and handed Alex half of the sub she'd had Carlos make that morning.

"Are you sure?" he asked. " 'Cause I don't mind going into the cafeteria and buying something." But even Alex couldn't help but grimace at the thought of cafeteria food Liz found a laugh bubbling up at Alex's expression. Alex's face transformed into a lopsided grin. The cafeteria food was notorious for being terrible. Especially since most of the entrees included the word 'surprise' in their name.

"Yup" Alex said with a grin. "That bean surprise looks especially tasty today."

"That's right, it is Vegetarian day, but 'Bean' surprise?" Liz asked.

"Hey, when it comes to cafeteria food I live by the don't ask, don't tell rule. But, you know, I can always catch the Bean surprise next time around" he said as he happily bit into the sub Liz had handed him. "But I definitely need a soda with this" he said as he set down his sub after rewrapping it. "You guys want anything?" he said as he got up.

Replies of "no" flowed from Liz and Michael, so Alex scooted off to get his drink.

Liz watched him head to the cafeteria fondly, pushing visions of how she'd last seen him to the back of her mind. She was so focused on him that she didn't notice Tess dragging a reluctant Max towards the table till they were almost there. She and Michael noticed them at the same time and both tensed.

Michael stood up angrily. "Maxwell, you can not trust her! She is not on our side!" he said glaring hard enough to shoot flames at Tess.

Max moved a startled Tess behind him as he angrily addressed Michael. "She got to you, didn't she?" he said, indicating Liz. "Why are you listening to her Michael? She isn't even one of us!" He cast a disdainful glance at Liz before glaring at Michael.

Liz felt like someone was physically yanking her heart out of her chest with the things Max that had emerged from Max's mouth today. He'd never been this mean before.

Max focused on Michael and then said imploringly, "Michael, she's helping me recover my memories. She can help you too."

Michael growled at that. "Max, you're letting her inside your head? What the hell are you thinking? You don't know what she might be doing in there. You can't trust her Maxwell and you're risking everyone doing it!"

"You know what?" Max's expression hardened. "You two obviously are convinced of something that's not based in reality. I can't talk to either of you. Just stay away from us. Stay away from both of us!" and he dragged Tess away, but not before she gave them both a triumphant look that spoke volumes.

Michael turned to look at Liz and saw that she looked devastated.

"Liz . . . he obviously didn't mean those things he said . . ." Michael began.

"Michael, don't apologize for him. This whole thing is a total mess! We'll never get near Tess now that she knows we're on to her!" Liz shook her head in frustration and then got up from the table.

"Wait, where are you going?"

"I'm gonna go find Alex and reassure myself that he's ok" Liz said, already walking away. She found Alex sitting on the floor next to the Coke machine holding his head.

"Alex! What's wrong?" she said as she rushed to his side.

Alex looked at her with slightly dazed eyes. "I don't know. I just got dizzy and lightheaded all of a sudden." He pushed himself to his feet and swayed a little. Liz caught him and helped support his weight even as she became more concerned.

"It's ok Liz. I just haven't been sleeping right for a while. I'm just gonna go to the nurse's office and lay down."

"I'll walk you, ok?" she said, already coaxing him in that direction.

"Thanks" Alex said, as he focused on placing one foot in front of the other, trying to make it to the nurse's office without embarrassing himself further. The hall kept flickering in and out of focus so he was grateful for Liz's solid presence next to him. When they arrived, Liz guided him to a seat.

"I'll bring your stuff here, ok?" Alex just nodded without opening his eyes and Liz rushed out.

On her way back to the quad, she bumped into Michael, who had come looking for her.

"We really need to figure out what we're gonna do about Max and getting him away from Tess" Michael said.

"Right now we've got a more immediate problem."

"Oh really" Michael said as he crossed his arms across his chest. "And what would that be?"

Liz replied in one word.

_"Alex."_

_~.~.~.~.~_


	12. I shall believe

**Chapter 12: I shall believe**

As they headed back to the quad to get Alex's things, Liz filled Michael in on the condition she'd found Alex in and on what it'd meant in that other timeline.

**_You mindwarped me for two months while I decoded that alien book for you and now there's nothing left for you to mindwarp. You destroyed my mind!_**

Liz took a shuddering breath and shook her head, dislodging the memory. She determinedly went on to explain that the damage Tess was doing to Alex's mind might end up being fatal if not fixed. And so they needed Max to heal Alex or he might not live past April 23rd even if they managed to get rid of Tess.

As they reached the quad, they both were so deep in conversation that they didn't notice that Isabel and Maria had taken up residence at the table until they were upon them.

Isabel noticed them first. They were walking towards the table having an obviously intense conversation based on the looks on their faces. She glanced over at Maria, but she was busy eating her sandwich and scribbling in a notebook with her free hand.

"You know, there is something weird going on with those two" Isabel said and flicked her head at the approaching Michael and Liz.

Maria glanced over at them and frowned a little. "Well yeah, Liz went to see Michael yesterday, because she said she thought she was showing evidence of having powers."

"Hmm" was all Isabel said in response since Michael and Liz were just arriving at the table.

"Hey, what's up?" Isabel asked them.

Liz blinked. "Oh um nothing. We're just, just taking Alex's stuff to him. He went to the nurse's office 'cause he's not feeling well . . . "

Isabel immediately went from suspicious to concerned. "Is he ok? What's wrong with him?"

Maria was busy glaring at Michael, so it took a second for Liz's words to sink in. Her expression immediately changed as she turned to Liz. "Hey! What's wrong with Alex?" She even stood and started gathering her stuff together as if to accompany Liz back to the nurse's office but Liz hurriedly tried to assure both of them.

"Um, no, don't worry! He's just tired or something, nothing major or anything. You guys should enjoy your lunch. It's no big deal really. Anyway, I'm just gonna take him his stuff and then I'll probably head to the library."

She let out a silent breath of relief as Maria sat back down and went back to glaring at Michael, who seemed to be looking everywhere but at them. Isabel also looked satisfied with Liz's explanation and the concern in her expression lessened.

"Yeah, and I'm gonna, um . . . go" Michael stated and started backing away from the table at the stony expression on Maria's face.

"Whatever!" Maria huffed as she went back to angrily scribbling in her notebook.

Liz gathered up Alex's and the rest of her things and rushed away before anyone could ask any more questions. Once she got inside the cafeteria, Michael fell back into step beside her.

~.~.~.~

Isabel wasn't sure, but she'd swear that she saw Michael rejoin Liz when she went into the cafeteria. She glanced over at Maria, but she was amazingly oblivious to the whole thing. And she was still furiously writing in that notebook of hers, her lunch all but forgotten next to her.

"What are you writing?" Isabel finally broke down and asked.

"Oh, I'm writing down my mantra. Mr. Harmon fussed at me for saying it out loud last period, so I started writing it. Works just as well." Seeing the perplexed expression on Isabel's face, Maria shrugged. "I ran out of cypress oil today."

"Let me see" Isabel said as she pulled the book from under Maria's angry pen. She read the line that was written and re-written all the way down the page. " 'I am a strong young woman. I control my emotions. My emotions do not control me. I am a strong young woman. I control my emotions. My emotions do not control me.' " Isabel looked over at Maria with eyebrow raised. "I guess it's better than 'All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy' but just barely." Isabel handed the notebook back to Maria. "I've got one word for you Maria: Ther-a-py . . . Get some. Or, you know, stop dating Michael, whichever helps with your sanity."

Maria just rolled her eyes and went back to scribbling at the mention of Michael's name.

But Isabel wasn't ready to give up the topic of Michael and Liz just yet. "So, tell me more about Liz and her newfound 'powers' . . ."

Maria sighed and dropped her pen. As she thought about it, she frowned because she realized she didn't know much. "Well, she mentioned something about getting upset and breaking a mirror without touching it, but that's all I know."

"That's it?"

"Yeah, Isabel, dang! I can't know _everything!_" Maria said exasperatedly.

"Yeah, well it just doesn't sound like enough of a reason to warrant those two hanging out together. I mean, think about it Maria: When have you ever known Michael and Liz to even hold a conversation, much less spend any time alone together? Plus I saw them in the hall during 2nd period and Liz was crying and Michael looked upset too."

Maria's eyes narrowed in thought. "Really?"

"Really" Isabel replied.

"Humph" Maria said as she folded her arms across her chest in a move reminiscent of Michael.

"Yep" Isabel stated as she looked back towards the cafeteria. "There's definitely something going on with those two. And it's more than what she told you too. I can sense it . . . "

~.~.~.~

Liz spent the rest of the period in the nurse's office sitting next to the bed Alex was sleeping in. She sent Michael to work on talking to Max since she figured Max would be more receptive to him. When the bell rang signaling the end of the period, Alex didn't even stir. Liz reluctantly rose and went to her next class.

The rest of the day passed by in a blur. Alex didn't show up for the last class they had together and Liz worried, but when she went to the nurse's office she was told he'd been sent home for the day soon after lunch.

So Liz started the trek to Alex's house . . . purposefully ignoring the memories from the last time she'd taken this walk.

Still worrying about Alex and the whole situation, she barely noticed the sounds coming from upstairs as she walked in the front door. She made her way up the stairs slowly. Still she was completely unprepared for the sight that greeted her at Alex's bedroom door.

It was Alex. In his underwear. Swiveling and dancing to the song 'I want you to want me.'

Still unaware of her presence, Alex continued to jump and twist around.

Liz cried out in mock horror. ". Please make it stop!"

Alex froze like a deer in headlights. "Liz!" he cried, surprised. "Um, I was just . . ." he stuttered, then, like he thought 'oh screw it!' he grabbed the clothes nearest to him and dove for the bathroom.

Liz couldn't help it, she started to giggle, and then she began to laugh. Full deep belly laughs. It had been so long since she'd laughed. Ages, it seemed. She leaned against Alex's desk for support and belatedly flipped off his music. It figured Alex would be the one to get her to laugh after all that had happened.

She tried to gather herself together when she saw him emerge from the bathroom fully clothed only to burst out laughing again.

"Ok fine" Alex said "so you saw me dancing in my underwear-"

" -again-" Liz interrupted.

" -yeah, again. But in my defense, the last time I was like 12-"

" -and the song was 'I'm too sexy.' " Liz couldn't help it, she started giggling again.

Alex sat on the bed and hid his face in his hands.

"And don't forget the tighty whiteys!" Liz said between giggles.

"Fine, my humiliation is now complete . . . I have come full circle . . . But, you gotta admit, at least it was a cooler song this time" Alex said from behind his hands.

Liz just continued to giggle. Eventually she got herself under control. "Thank you Alex."

He looked up surprised. "For what?"

"Well . . . things have been so hard lately. I almost forgot what it's like to laugh. But you reminded me. You always remind me of happier times."

Alex sobered. "Yeah, I've noticed them too" referring to Max and Tess. "Liz, I don't know what's going on between Max and Tess right now, but you know, you have to know what you mean to him . . . It'll all be ok Liz." He got up and looped one arm around her shoulder in a half-hug. "We'll make it ok."

Liz blinked back tears at his simple words. He was so unknowing of what was to happen, yet he willingly and readily assured her that everything would be ok. She should be telling him that. "I love you Alex" she said as she hugged him back.

"Love you too Lizzie" Alex said as he playfully ruffled her hair.

_It'll be ok,_ Liz thought. _It *has* to be._

~.~.~.~

Max found himself wandering the streets of Roswell. Again.

After the confrontation with Liz and Michael, Tess had helped him settle and he had studiously avoided both Liz and Michael for the rest of the day. Michael had been a little harder to avoid because he seemed to be everywhere Max was, but Max still managed to outmaneuver him. He was too aggravated to talk to Michael right now.

Seeing his aggravation, Tess had suggested that they take a drive after school. Later she'd worked with him some more to try to retrieve more of his memories. He always felt more settled after their sessions. It's like they cleared out the clutter of his mind.

But right now he felt restless.

So he walked.

And not surprisingly when he looked up to assess his surroundings he found himself standing in the alley below Liz's balcony. Which made sense because more often than not when he wandered around town, he ended up right where he was standing.

It was strange how that clarity he seemed to achieve when he was around Tess just disappeared when he was alone. When he was alone, his heart and his head always warred with each other. His head told him that Tess was the person he wanted to be with, but in his heart he still loved and wanted to be with Liz. And it was a continuous battle Max was never sure who he wanted to win. And the battle led to the headaches. The headaches that made him feel like his head was in a vise.

Then there was the anger. The anger that he felt wanting to be with Liz when she obviously didn't want to be with him anymore. She had even slept with Kyle to prove it. The anger threatened to consume him sometimes it was so intense. This anger felt so out of control and so foreign. It scared him how quickly it rose up sometimes . . . almost out of nowhere it came. Liz had slept with Kyle sure, but he'd forgiven her for that.

Hadn't he?

He felt like if he could just think clearly for a while he could sort it all out. He could get to the bottom of his anger, his feelings for Liz and his feelings for Tess. But whenever he found his head clear he was around Tess and none of that other stuff seemed to matter anymore.

He looked up and could see the faint lights above that told him that Liz was in her room. Part of him wanted to go up to her and try to talk things out. But the other part of him said that there was nothing left to be said.

And then he recalled their conversation earlier. How she'd tried to make him turn against Tess: the only person who seemed to understand him lately. When had Liz stopped being that person? Liz used to be the one who could soothe his soul, just by being in her presence. When had that changed? He couldn't even remember when Tess had taken her place.

Shouldn't he remember?

He looked up again at the lights from her balcony. How many times had he stood in this very spot thinking that he should just call up to her?

But he never did.

He usually just walked away. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and headed towards home.

Like he was doing now.

~.~.~.~

Liz was slowly preparing for bed. Today had been a trying day and it had just begun to take its toll. Her mini-breakdown with Michael, then the argument with Max . . . if you could call it that . . . more like he yelled and she listened. And then the worry over Alex. . .

She was exhausted.

_~*Come to me now*~_  
_~*And lay your hands over me*~_

She was also afraid.

~*_Even if it's a lie_*~  
~*_Say it will be alright_*~

She couldn't go through losing Alex again. She just couldn't.

_~*And I shall believe*~_

She knew that even though he had been feeling better when she saw him earlier that he was not ok.

_~*I'm broken in two*~_  
_~*And I know you're on to me*~_

She still remembered the reports from his teachers after his apparent "suicide" in her timeline saying he had had frequent unexplained mood swings and complained of health problems that kept him from finishing assignments, but at other times he seemed perfectly fine.

_~*That I only come home*~_  
_~*When I'm so all alone*~_  
_~*And I do believe*~_

So Liz wasn't foolish enough to believe things were ok, even if she wanted to believe.

_~*That not everything is gonna be the way*~_  
_~*you think it ought to be*~_

Michael had checked in with her earlier and told her he hadn't managed to get ahold of Max today. Max had managed to make himself scarce. But he was still determined to find him.

_~*It seems like every time I try to make it right*~_  
_~*It all comes down on me*~_

Thanks to her and the flashes, he now understood a little too well what was at stake. Also not helping was the fact that Maria had been hounding Michael trying to find out what was going on with him and Liz.

_~*Please say honestly you won't give up on me*~_

There was so much to worry about.

_~*And I shall believe*~_

Liz forcibly turned her mind off, knowing that solutions would continue to elude her until she had a good night's rest under her belt. So she blanked out the events of the day as best she could and finally fell into a troubled sleep. But she was still unprepared to find herself walking down the familiar path to Alex's house, straight into the nightmare she hoped to never see again . . .

_~*I shall believe*~_

~.~.~.~

Isabel lay in bed, filing her nails and flipping through a magazine. Every once in awhile she'd glance over at the clock on her nightstand, sigh, and go back to filing and flipping. Eventually she went to the kitchen and fixed and ate a snack. When she got back to her room, she glanced at the clock one last time and muttered "Finally!" under her breath.

She picked up last year's yearbook, opened it to Liz's picture and laid back, determined that tonight she would finally know what was going on in the mind of Liz Parker.

~.~.~.~.~

_Lyrics by Sheryl Crow "I Shall Believe"_


	13. Reinforcements

**Chapter 13: Reinforcements**

_Isabel found herself riding in the backseat of Sheriff Valenti's SUV, with Valenti driving and Liz sitting in the passenger seat staring down at her lap._

_The truck stopped in the alley behind the Crashdown and Liz finally looked up and got out of the vehicle, saying nothing and staring straight ahead. Valenti clambered out after her and Isabel followed them both into the back of the Crashdown, still puzzled as to what this dream was about._

_She stepped inside and noticed Maria coming into the break room. Maria looked at Liz curiously and then with horror as she screamed._

_~*In the midst of my darkest hour*~  
__~*You see my tear-stained face*~_

_Isabel finally took a good look at first Valenti's somber face and then looked at Liz. What she saw made her blood run cold._

_ ~*This broken form that no longer feels power*~  
__~*With no apparent place*~_

_Liz's hands and clothing were covered in blood._

_Isabel backed up, wanting to flee this dream . . . this nightmare . . . when the dream version of herself, then Kyle and Michael came running in. She didn't want to stay, but she couldn't move. She felt rooted to the spot as Valenti's next words almost made her collapse._

_"There's been an incident . . . Alex is dead . . ."_

_ ~*Even when this world's turned*~  
__~*Her back on me*~_

_The sounds of crying echoed through the room as Isabel clung to the wall and then lowered herself to the floor, unable to stop shaking, unable to comprehend why Liz would be dreaming of Alex dying._

_ ~*And when it's cold where it once burned*~  
__~*And my thoughts are frightening*~_

_Still in shock, she was barely paying attention to the dream anymore so she only caught the tail end of the Sheriff's words ". . . may be some issue of Max being hurt as well, based on what Liz has said."_

_From her position on the floor, she looked over at Liz with shell-shocked eyes, barely able to look at her with all the blood, Alex's blood, covering her, but Liz finally spoke up._

_And made this nightmare so, so much worse._

_~*You will never leave me*~_

_"Max is dead."_

_ ~*You will never leave me*~_

_She saw Liz begin to crumble and then Isabel felt herself get expelled from the dream as it came to an end._

Isabel shot up from her bed, shaking uncontrollably and moaning a denial that just went on and on . . .

~.~.~.~

Liz sat up in bed, clutched her pillow tighter and used it to muffle the cries coming from deep in her throat.

She cried till morning.

~.~.~.~

Isabel Evans was on a mission.

To the casual observer, as she stepped through the doors of West Roswell High, she simply appeared focused as she barely acknowledged the greetings thrown her way. But if one were to look closer, they'd notice the dark circles under her eyes that even makeup couldn't hide, the troubled look in her eyes, and the determined set to her jaw, as she headed straight to Liz Parker's locker.

She spotted Liz standing with her back to Isabel in front of her locker with a very concerned-looking Michael standing beside her. Isabel walked right up to her, whipped her around, and at the same time ground out "What the hell is up with you Parker?"

But as she spun Liz around, her next words died in her throat because Liz looked, for lack of a better word, _awful_. Isabel had thought the circles under her own eyes were bad, but Liz's eyes were red-rimmed and had a sunken-in appearance. And she was wearing that same haunted expression Isabel had seen on her face in the dreamwalk.

Michael, surprised at Isabel's dramatic entrance, stepped between them. "What is it Iz?" he growled in annoyance.

Isabel was still too shocked over Liz's appearance to voice her annoyance at walking into the Hell-world that Liz had dreamt up in her nightmare like she had originally planned to do. She knew it was unreasonable, but she just kept seeing Liz covered in blood and hearing that Alex and Max were dead.

She blinked surprised eyes at Michael when he stepped between them and then her eyes narrowed. "Michael, what are you, Liz's protector now? I just wanted to talk to her."

"Iz, look at her" he stepped to the side so Isabel could look at Liz again. "Does she really look like she's in a state to talk to anybody right now?"

Liz sputtered. "Michael, I'm not a baby, I can speak for myself!"

Focusing on Michael for the moment, Isabel, imitating his posture folded her arms across her chest. "What is going on with you two? Suddenly you're all buddy-buddy, hanging out with each other, Liz is dreaming about people dying and now she looks like the living dead-"

"What?" Michael said and a second later a muted "What?" came from Liz.

"Iz, did you . . . " Michael's voice lowered to a whisper "_dreamwalk_ Liz last night?"

Isabel bristled. "Well, what did you expect Michael? You two have been walking around like you're bestest-pals, obviously hiding something, and Maria hasn't been able to get an explanation out of you, so I figured I'd check it out myself." She shrugged.

"Check it out? Check it out? You can't just go traipsing around . . ." once again his voice lowered "in people's subconscious when you feel like it Iz-"

"Actually Michael, having this power means that's exactly what I can do" she said smugly.

"Guys!" Liz said to get their attention, stepping out from behind Michael. Both Michael and Isabel turned to her. "Michael, it's ok . . . I think . . ." she took a deep breath "I think we've been going about this all wrong. I think we need to let everyone in on what's going on. Maybe working together we can fix this."

Michael blinked surprised eyes at her.

She turned to Isabel. "Isabel, you're right. There is a lot going on here that Michael and I haven't been sharing and I'm beginning to see that that was the wrong way to handle things. But I don't want to have to tell this story more than once, so let's have a meeting tonight at Michael's and I promise I will tell you guys everything you need to know, ok?"

"Ok" Isabel said hesitantly. It was funny because throughout her whole plan to confront Liz today, it had never occurred to her that Liz might cave quickly. She had been fully prepared to drag her into the Eraser room if-need-be and get answers out of her.

"What time?" Isabel asked quickly, wanting to make sure this meeting actually happened.

"Um, how about 9?" Liz looked at Michael to see if that was ok with him. He nodded because he knew his shift ended at 8, as did Liz and Maria's. He looked at Isabel.

"Nine's fine with me" she said and just then the bell rang, signaling the start of the days classes. "Ok, well I've got to get to class, so . . ." and she left the sentence dangling as she turned to go.

"Isabel!" Liz called out to her and waited for her to turn back around. "Don't . . . Don't tell Tess about the meeting ok?" She bit her lip as she looked around to make sure no one overheard, but students were busily going to their classes and were paying their little group no attention.

"Why not?" Isabel asked suspiciously.

"Because this involves her, ok?" Michael said harshly. "Just trust me Isabel, Tess shouldn't be anywhere near this meeting, ok?"

Isabel looked at the both of them warily, but she agreed. "Isabel!" Liz grabbed Isabel's arm as she began to turn away. When Isabel turned to face her again, Liz dropped her arm and asked pleadingly "Don't . . . don't tell anyone about my dream until I can explain, ok?"

Isabel looked skeptical, but looking into Liz's eyes she could only see grief, strain, and a desire to hold things together, so she nodded. Liz let out the breath she'd been holding waiting for Isabel's answer. "Anything else?" Isabel asked quietly as she glanced from Michael to Liz. "No, um, that's it" Liz said looking away. Just then the late bell rang, so the three of them rushed off to their respective classes, but not before Michael and Liz exchanged weary glances.

Between the three of them, they spread the word that there was going to be a meeting at Michael's later that night and at lunchtime Isabel, Maria and Alex, who was feeling better, discussed what the meeting could possibly be about. Liz and Michael were strangely, or, considering recent events, not so strangely, missing in attendance; Kyle was hanging out with his football buddies; And Max and Tess had been avoiding the group for a while.

"So, Isabel" Maria began, rubbing her hands together "what did you see in Liz's dream last night?"

"What?" Alex looked from Maria to Isabel. "You-" his voice lowered conspiratorially "dreamwalked Liz last night? Why?"

Before Isabel could answer, Maria cut in "Because of Michael and Liz. Have you seen how weird those two have been acting lately?" By Maria's tone, one would never guess that Isabel had to point their behavior out to her just the day before.

"Come on Isabel, spill! What'd you see?" Maria asked eagerly.

"Actually, um, I'm not sure . . ." she said glancing at Alex out of the corner of her eye. "It was all weird and stuff . . . but Liz promised she'd explain everything tonight, so I think we'd better just wait and see . . . " she trailed off at the unsatisfied look on Maria's face. "Maria, seriously, I think this meeting will be the answer to everything. We just have to wait till then."

"Humpf" Maria said and muttered something about difficult Czechoslovakians, but she let the subject drop.

~.~.~.~

During lunch Michael wandered around the school looking for Max. He finally found him under the bleachers in the football field. He ducked out of sight as he watched Tess walking away from Max. As he walked up, Max spotted him and immediately tensed up. "Not this again. Michael I don't feel like dealing with you right now."

"Well start feeling like it Maxwell, because you're acting like a jerk right now and take it from me, you're gonna regret it later."

"Oh really? Why is that?"

"Because you're trusting the wrong person-"

"Oh really?" Max interrupted. "So this is about Tess again is it?"

"Yes, this _is_ about the Bitch from Hell, but-" Michael's words were halted abruptly as Max charged him and they both fell to the ground. Max threw a punch that landed square in Michael's jaw. They wrestled for a few minutes with Michael throwing a punch that connected with the left side of Max's face, but not before Max managed to land a punch in Michael's stomach. Finally Michael used just enough power to throw Max off of him and they both got to their feet, eyeing each other warily.

Michael broke the angry silence first.

"Look Max, you can be angry or upset at me for telling you the truth. You can even fight me to try to change my mind, but it doesn't change what's true. I have no reason to lie to you Maxwell and neither does Liz." He spit out blood and finished talking. "All I'm saying is think about it Max. Think about who you've known the longest, who you trusted since the beginning, and who you had to be convinced to trust. We may not be saying things you want to hear, but we're not your enemy. Just think about it Max." And grimacing and holding his jaw, he left Max to his thoughts as he walked away.

Max put his hand to the side of his face, winced and then sat down and held his head in his hands as the now familiar headache started up again.

~.~.~.~

Michael walked up to Liz, who was sitting outside of the library where they had agreed to meet. Before he could even get to her, she asked "Did you find him?" But then when Michael drew closer and she saw the bruise forming on his face, her expression darkened. "You found him and he did this to you, didn't he?"

"Well, he wasn't too fond of me calling Tess 'The Bitch from Hell'."

Liz couldn't help but slightly smile at the reference, but then she grimaced. "Are you ok?" she asked, reaching up to touch his bruised face. He ducked away from her hand and said gruffly "I'm fine." But he winced on the last word.

"Fine" Liz said and dropped her hand. "Did you at least get to talk to him?" she asked instead.

"Yeah, I think I planted some seeds in his mind. I think I'll be able to approach him later and he'll listen this time."

"Good, now we just have to prepare for the meeting tonight and figure out what we'll tell everyone." The bell signaling the end of lunch rang at that moment. Liz sighed " . . . and get through the rest of this school day."

~.~.~.~

Nine o'clock rolled around and things were quiet in Michael's apartment. Kyle and Maria were sitting on Michael's sofa and Michael and Liz were sitting on the stools at the counter. Michael was nursing an ice pack to his jaw and Liz was massaging her temples, trying to fend off an oncoming headache. The tension in the room was palpable. Maria had been trying unsuccessfully to pry information from them, but they'd insisted that nothing would be discussed until everyone was present. Kyle had tried to provide comic relief but no one was laughing so he was now flipping a coin.

Just as the silence was becoming suffocating, Isabel and Alex came barreling into the apartment, a little out of breath from rushing. "Sorry we're late" Isabel said. "Alex was asleep when I got to his house and I had to wake him up." She rolled her eyes as she moved towards the sofa. Maria scooted over for her while pushing Kyle off the sofa. He grumbled but moved to the floor. Alex perched on the arm of the sofa, next to Isabel.

Liz stood. "I guess we can get started" she said, looking around at everyone assembled.

"Wait, where's Max? I thought he'd be here" Alex said.

"Max is with Tess. He didn't want to come to the meeting tonight" Isabel answered. Both Maria and Alex looked at Liz with concern at that statement, but she strove to look unaffected.

Kyle spoke up next. "About that . . . how come we weren't supposed to tell Tess about this meeting? What's going on?"

"We'll get to Tess in a minute" Liz replied. She nervously tucked her hair behind her ear and then said "Ok, so I called this meeting because . . ." she faltered and looked at Michael. He gave her an encouraging look and she smiled gratefully then turned forward again. Maria and Isabel exchanged a look and Alex was just baffled. When did Michael and Liz grow so close? Where had he been when this happened? He looked across at Liz as she began to speak again.

"I called this meeting because Michael and I have been keeping something from you . . ."

"I knew it!" Maria broke in. "This is about you two fooling around, isn't it?" She pulled out her cypress oil and took a sniff as she started to hyperventilate, shooting daggers at Michael over her oil.

Liz gave her an exasperated look. "Maria, seriously, do you even believe that that's what this is? You know I would never do anything like that to you and neither would Michael." She waited for Maria to meet her eyes and nod. Maria mumbled "Sorry."

Liz took a deep breath then addressed the room again.

"Some bad things are about to happen, if we aren't able to stop them." She held her hand up to ward off the questions she knew were about to come from everyone. "There's a lot I need to tell all of you, and I'll try to explain as best I can. So let's start at the beginning . . ."

And Liz found herself re-telling the story of Future Max for the third time. It was ironic that for so long it was a carefully guarded secret that she didn't tell anyone and now it seemed like every time she turned around she was telling this story. As she finished, she noted the different expressions on everyone's faces. Maria and Michael looked unaffected of course because they both knew the story. In fact, when she'd told Maria, to her supreme embarrassment Maria had sung "Wind Beneath My Wings" to her. Liz smiled slightly at the memory.

Isabel looked incredulous and slightly disbelieving. Alex was looking at her with quiet compassion for all she'd been through and Kyle's expression was one of dawning comprehension.

"That was why . . . ?"

"Yeah Kyle, that's why I asked for your help. I'm sorry I had to drag you into all of this" she gestured with helplessly.

"Don't worry about it Liz. At least it was for a worthy cause like trying to save the world. I thought we were just trying to piss off Max." He grinned at her and then looked sheepish with the glares he got from Isabel and Michael.

Isabel looked at Liz challengingly. "So ok, why should we believe any of this? How do we know you're telling the truth now, if you lied to Max before?" Maria tensed up as if to defend Liz and Alex reached for Isabel's hand. However, Liz had fully expected doubt from Isabel, just as she had expected it from Michael before, so she was prepared. She replied before either of them could interject. "Because Kyle was there and he can vouch for the fact that it was a set up, although he didn't know why. And because I have no reason to make this up. I was never even supposed to tell any of you. The only reason why I am now is because I know we made things worse and that the world will still end if we don't do things differently." Isabel still looked skeptical, so Liz pulled out the trump card she'd hoped she wouldn't have to use. She said it softly, hoping to lessen the blow. "And because you saw the future in my dream Isabel. That was all real." Isabel paled and her hand tightened in Alex's. "And it will happen again if we don't prevent it."

"What did you see Isabel? What will happen?" Maria asked, supremely curious now and concerned about how pale Isabel had gotten suddenly.

Liz interrupted before Isabel could reveal anything Liz didn't want revealed just yet. "We'll get to the future in a minute Maria, there's still more to explain."

Recovering although she still looked pale, Isabel asked "Ok, so what does that future have to do with the here and now? Didn't your 'act' fix things?"

"Well, see, that's the thing" Liz began. "It didn't. In fact, it just made things worse. Instead of the world ending in 14 years, it'll end in July."

This time everyone was too stunned to interrupt.

"See the mistake both Future Max and I made was in trying to keep Tess in town. We should have found some other way to prevent the end of the world, because having Tess here just made things worse."

"Worse how?" Kyle asked.

"Well, see, in Future Max's timeline, Tess left soon after Max and I got back together, so no one ever knew what kind of damage she would cause if she stuck around."

"What makes you so sure Tess will cause 'damage'?" Kyle asked.

"Because I was there." She held up her hand once again to fend off questions. "I lived that future . . . I lived that end of the world." There were stunned looks all around, but Liz continued on. "Future Max figured that changing things the way we did might go badly, so he left a way for me to come back in time if I needed to and I did."

The room was completely silent as everyone tried to digest this.

"So we're dealing with two different timelines here?" Alex asked. "One where Tess left and the world ended in 14 years. And one where she stayed and the world ended in July?"

Liz thanked god for Alex's brilliant mind in that moment for summarizing everything so well. "Yes, Alex that's exactly what's going on."

"So you're saying that you've come back from that second future? The one that you and Future Max created?" Liz could practically see the gears turning in Alex's head, trying to sort all of this out.

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying."

"So, you're not our Liz? You're actually some kind of 'Future Liz'?" Maria asked.

"No, I'm still me and we can get into the semantics later, but right now that's not the important thing. The important thing is that the end of the world events are triggered by things that will happen in a little over a week from now." She let that sink in and then continued. "When all was said and done in my timeline, Tess had harmed several members of our group, we were weakened, and the Skins attacked and won. All because we trusted the wrong person, let the wrong person into our inner-circle."

"So Tess is at the heart of this?" Kyle asked, dazed.

"Yeah Kyle, I'm sorry, but it's true."

"I never trusted her . . . wicked bitch of the west . . . somebody should drop a house on her . . ." Maria muttered as she pulled out her cypress oil again.

"So how far back did you go?" Alex asked.

"What do you mean?"

"How far back in time did you go to try to fix things?"

"I came back on the 5th of this month, so just a few months in time . . . "

"If Tess is at the root of this, how come you didn't go back further?" Isabel asked. "Why not go back to before she came and convince us not to trust her, not to let her in?"

They were now getting to the hard questions. The questions Liz had asked herself when she began to doubt she could make a difference in this reality. She gave them the same answers she gave herself.

"Because who knows what I would have changed if I'd gone back that far?" Liz said as she paced. "I knew . . . I knew, I had to change things. But what if . . . what if I went back and we handled Tess as soon as she came and then the White Room thing happened and you guys needed her to rescue Max?" Michael put a reassuring hand on Liz's shoulder and her pacing stopped.

Everyone was quiet.

Liz stared unseeing across the room. "And this is exactly what I mean. What Future Max and I did accelerated the end of the world because it was huge. I didn't . . . I didn't want to chance making another large mistake. So I figured if I could come back to the most recent pivotal event, the ripple effect would be lessened."

Maria still continued to grumble quietly to herself as Alex looked concerned over how much this discussion seemed to be taking out of Liz. But as he watched she took a deep breath, let it out, and continued to talk.

"The most important person to bring over to our side now is Max. We need to get him away from Tess . . . soon. I've tried talking to him and so has Michael. I didn't do too well, but Michael has managed to make some progress."

All eyes turned to Michael who was still nursing an ice pack to his jaw.

"But obviously, it's not going the greatest." She turned to Isabel. "Isabel, this is where you come in. We need you to talk to Max and try to convince him that what I've told you is the truth. That he can't trust Tess and that she means us harm."

Isabel nodded and grasped Alex's hand tighter. He didn't mind, he was still worried over how pale she was.

Liz fielded some more questions from the group, and they just kept coming up with new ones until she felt like her head would explode from all the pressure. She was exhausted. Alex was about to speak up and end the questioning, but Michael beat him to the punch. Michael set down his ice pack and interrupted Isabel's next question just as Alex had reached out and touched Isabel's arm to get her attention.

"Ok guys" Michael said. "I think that's enough for today." Liz looked at him gratefully. He had been silent throughout the meeting, letting Liz handle the questions, but he could see that she needed a break now. "We can meet up again tomorrow night and continue this. Hopefully Max will join us then and we can make a group decision about what to do about Tess." He glanced at Maria wryly. "Besides dropping a house on her." He sobered. "But everyone keep in mind, until we have Max on our side and know what we're gonna do about Tess, we can't tip our hands on what we know. Tess was somehow able to do serious damage in that other reality. We can't let that happen again. Don't underestimate her. She is very dangerous."

Kyle looked back and forth between Michael and Liz, incredulous. He had been too shocked through most of the meeting finding out about Tess to say much of anything. But now, when he realized that they expected him to go home and pretend everything was normal, he spoke up.

"So what? I'm supposed to go to my home that I share with my Dad, and oh yeah, **A PSYCHO ALIEN** and wait for her to work the whammy on us while we sleep?"

"Kyle, you'll be ok" Liz responded. "I was there, remember? She didn't target you or your father. I'm sorry you're stuck living with her, knowing what you know now, but we'll handle this situation soon. Until then just try to act as normal as possible." Kyle rolled his eyes, but nodded his head. There was nothing to be done about it now and they couldn't let her know they suspected anything. He'd just have to grin and bear it.

Michael took that as his cue and addressed the room. "Ok, so it's agreed that we'll meet tomorrow. Now everybody out so I can get some sleep. Oh and if Tess asks about the meeting, just tell her it was about Liz thinking she had powers, but she didn't. She'll lose interest real quick when she hears that."

Everyone nodded. Kyle looked at Liz as if to say something else, but then he grudgingly got to his feet and made his exit out of the apartment. Maria walked over to Liz and threw her arm around her waist. "Chica, you riding with me?"

Isabel stepped up. "Um, I'll give her a ride. I wanted to talk to Liz anyway." Both girls looked at her a little surprised, but then Liz's expression changed to one of resignation.

"Ok" Maria said hesitantly, glancing from Isabel to Liz, but seeing that Liz was nodding at her to go, Maria gave Liz a half-hug, stepped over to Michael and planted a kiss on his uninjured cheek, and then stepped to the door.

"Maria" Isabel called out. Maria paused at the door. "Can you give Alex a ride home? I'm gonna drive around for awhile after I drop Liz off and see if I can find Max."

Alex had been watching all of this from his perch on Michael's couch, puzzled by all the different group dynamics that seemed to have sprung up suddenly. "Are you sure you don't want some company?" he asked Isabel with a concerned look. She hugged him and didn't want to let him go, but she eventually stepped back. "No Alex, go ahead and ride with Maria. I'll call you later, ok?"

"Ok" he said and squeezed her hand. He stepped over to Liz. "You gonna be ok?" he asked her softly. She gave him a small, yet sincere smile that somehow reminded him of how strong Liz truly was. He didn't think he could have done half of what she'd done in the past few months. He studied her for a moment and then, like he'd found what he was looking for, gave her his trademark Alex-grin, ruffled her hair and then followed Maria through the door. As it closed behind them, it left just Isabel, Michael and Liz in Michael's living room.

Not wasting any time, as soon as the door closed behind them, Isabel said softly "The dream, Liz . . . Alex and Max really died?"

Liz backed up to the couch and wearily sat down. She could barely meet Isabel's eyes so she focused on Michael's carpet instead as she said softly "Yeah . . . How much did you see?"

"The-the ride to the Crashdown and the stuff that followed . . . " Isabel said as she too made her way to the sofa as her legs threatened to give out on her. Michael quietly left the room, leaving them to talk alone.

"That . . . that's my own personal reminder of the worst day of my life."

Liz didn't even notice she was wringing her hands as she finally met Isabel's eyes. Isabel inhaled sharply at the pain and grief so clearly displayed there.

But then Liz blinked and it was gone, leaving Isabel to wonder if she had imagined it.

Liz continued. "The thing is, I haven't had that dream since I entered this reality. The only reason I can figure of why I had it now is that it's my mind reminding me that that day might still happen if I don't prevent it. Isabel . . . I didn't want to say anything in front of him, but Tess will kill Alex first." Isabel inhaled sharply. "We have to prevent that this time around. But the thing is . . . she's mindwarping him to get him to interpret the Destiny book. It has all the answers, including how to work the granolith. Her mindwarp is doing damage to Alex's brain and now he's sick . . . even though half the time he seems to be ok. We need Max to heal him Isabel. Or else it might not matter if we prevent Tess from killing him this time around, he'll . . . he'll still die."

"Ok" Isabel said shakily. "Liz, why . . . why didn't you tell Alex and the group exactly what Tess is doing . . . and what she'll do?"

Liz met her gaze straight on. "Would you want to know that an evil alien is turning your mind to mush and there's nothing you can do about it?"

Isabel was silent.

"That's exactly why I didn't say anything. The truth will come out. It always does. But not now. Not while Alex is still in danger."

Liz met Isabel's eyes for a second and then she got up and started towards the door. "We should go" she said softly. "The sooner you drop me off, the sooner you can go and find Max and get him to heal Alex." Isabel got shakily to her feet. "Michael?" Liz called out. Michael came out of his bedroom. "We're heading out."

"Ok" was Michael's gruff response. He tentatively went up to Liz and gave her a quick hug, then stepped over to Isabel and pulled her in for a hug as well. Both women were taken by surprise. "Take care of her" he whispered to Isabel before he let her go. Isabel just nodded and pulled Liz out of the apartment.

Michael stood at the window and watched them walk to Isabel's parent's car, get in and drive away. He sighed as he ran a rough hand down his face.

Today had been a hard day for all of them, but it had been especially hard for Liz. He just hoped that Isabel was able to get through to Max. Then at least it would be worth it.

Time was running out for all of them. He could practically hear the clock counting down . . .

~.~.~.~

The ride to the Crashdown went by in silence, both Liz and Isabel too consumed with their own thoughts to bother with conversation. As Isabel pulled up outside, she said softly "Thank you Liz." She focused forward so Liz wouldn't see the tears forming in her eyes. Liz knew she was thanking her for all she'd tried to do to save them and even though she felt Isabel's thanks was misplaced, she didn't tell her that. She simply nodded and climbed from the vehicle. She watched as Isabel pulled away from the curb to go in search of Max.

She stood there in front of the Crashdown for a while, enjoying the wind blowing past her face, and in that one single moment, simply happy to be there. She didn't even notice someone had walked up until she heard her name softly spoken.

She turned slowly, hoping she wasn't hallucinating, because standing just a few feet away from her was a very lost-looking Max . . .

~.~.~.~

_Lyrics by Kendall Payne "You will never leave me"_


	14. Everything

**Chapter 14: Everything**

Max had found himself standing in the Crashdown's alley once again. Only this time when he looked up there were no welcoming lights above beckoning to him.

Liz wasn't home.

Tamping down on his disappointment, he once again tried to sort through his thoughts. His mind was a sea of confusion, with echoes of what Michael had said earlier floating around.

_'Think about . . . who you trusted since the beginning and who you had to be convinced to trust . . .'_

_'We're not your enemy . . . '_

He realized that somewhere along the way he must have lost his way, because it seemed a line had been drawn in the sand between him and his friends and they'd ended up on opposing sides.

How had things gotten this way?

He always knew he could trust Michael. He always knew he could trust Liz. So why suddenly did it seem so hard?

It wasn't until he found himself below Liz's balcony that he realized how much he had wanted her to be home. His emotions were in turmoil and all he knew is he wanted to see her, wanted to figure out how things had come to be this way.

But she wasn't there.

So, looking up one last time, he turned and walked dejectedly out of the alley, intending to start towards home. But as he stepped out into the open there Liz stood in front of the Crashdown with the wind whipping her hair around her face.

And he felt some of the constriction in his chest ease . . .

_~*Find me here*~_

His feet carried him to her before he even knew he was moving. Her name tumbled from his lips in a whisper; afraid she'd disappear if he spoke louder . . .

_~*Speak to me*~_

And as she turned towards him, time seemed to slow down and all he wanted to do was gather her into his arms and know that it would be ok, because it hadn't been ok for so long . . .

_~*I want to feel you*~  
~*I need to hear you*~_

She looked so hopeful . . .

She breathed his name in surprise and stepped towards him . . .

_~*You are the light*~  
~*That's leading me*~_

And as their eyes met, the world fell away . . .

_~*To the place*~  
~*Where I find peace*~  
~*Again*~_

The spell was broken as people came walking out of the Crashdown, talking and laughing.

_~*You are the strength*~  
~*That keeps me walking*~_

Max blinked and looked, feeling out of place all of a sudden. "I . . . I should go" he said haltingly and began to turn away.

"Please" she said softly as she reached out and grabbed his hand. "Don't go." She had a second to notice that his fingers seemed to curve almost instinctively around hers . . .

_~*You are the hope*~  
~*That keeps me trusting*~_

Then it felt like a bolt of electricity struck where their hands met.

_Then the flashes started._

_~*You are the light*~  
~*To my soul*~_

_At first the images whirled by so fast they were barely discernible. Shared moments between the two of them. Precious moments. But then they started to slow down._

_~*You are my purpose*~  
~*You're everything*~_

_Max saw himself appear to her, but he was somehow older._

_~*And how can I stand here with you*~  
~*And not be moved by you*~_

_Conversations rushed by . . ._

_"No, you're not Max, ok? You . . . you're like a shapeshifter. You are like some other kind of alien, with, like, the ability to look like Max with that beard and those . . . and those gray hairs."_

_"If I were a shapeshifter, there's no way I could tell the future. In approximately 10 seconds, I will show up outside your window and begin singing to you . . . accompanied by a mariachi band."_

_"Why are you here?"_

_"14 years from now, we are taken over by our enemies."_

_"I need you to help me fall out of love with you."_

_"Did we get married?"_

_"We eloped. We were 19."_

_~*Would you tell me how could it be*~  
~*Any better than this*~_

_"Do you know how hard it was for me to tell him that I didn't want to die for him? He's the only reason that I'm alive right now. You . . . you've . . . you gotta come up with another plan. Please go to someone else. I . . . I just . . . I can't do this anymore."_

_"Just 25 minutes before I came here, I held Michael in my arms . . . dead. Isabel died 2 weeks before that. Now you have to do this. You have to find a way. All of our lives depend on it."_

_"How? What can I do that's gonna make you turn away from me?"_

_"You really think this is gonna work? I would never be jealous of Kyle."_

_"Don't you realize what you are to me? What you're always gonna be? You're the love of my life. Everyone else is gonna be second best. There'll never be another you."_

_~*You calm the storms*~  
~*And you give me rest*~_

_"I wanna have my wedding dance."_

_He saw the two of them dancing, his future self spinning her around. And then he disappeared, leaving a despondent Liz behind._

Max felt like his whole world was crumbling. What he'd seen . . . It couldn't be the truth about that night, _there was no way_ . . . He couldn't have _asked_ her to do that . . .

He felt the anguish of her emotions and couldn't hold on to his denial any longer.

_~*You hold me in your hands*~  
~*You won't let me fall*~_

She didn't sleep with Kyle.

They got married.

Michael and Isabel died?

_The flashes changed again and suddenly Alex was holding a gun and yelling at Tess about mindwarping and destroying his mind._

_~*You steal my heart*~  
~*And you take my breath away*~_

_"**How could you do this to me?"**_

_~*Would you take me in*~  
~*Take me deeper now*~_

_And it only got worse from there . . . He saw Tess concentrate and make Alex shoot himself . . . and the blood! There was so much blood. He saw Liz's valiant efforts to stop the bleeding. Her denial that Alex was gone . . ._

_~*And how can I stand here with you*~  
~*And not be moved by you*~_

_He saw himself show up and try to heal Alex. But fail . . ._

_"It's too late . . . He's gone Liz . . ."_

_Then he saw himself leave to go after Tess . . . He left Liz sitting broken on the floor of Alex's room, surrounded in blood . . ._

Dear god . . .

_He felt Liz shatter as she rushed to his lifeless body on the floor of the pod chamber. She refused to let go._

_He saw the remainder of their group grieve as they buried him, then had to bury Tess, and then attend Alex's funeral. Saw the devastation left in the wake of the loss. He saw their group crack and split apart with its impact._

_He felt the impact of the loss on Liz; saw months of anguish in seconds that felt like lifetimes . . . He saw her on that ledge . . ._

Jesus . . .

_Then he saw her find a way to use the granolith to go back in time . . ._

_~*Would you tell me how could it be*~  
~*Any better than this*~_

_But not before more of their group died . . ._

_He saw Kyle stumble out of his car, blood on his hands, obviously in shock and felt the knowledge like the bottom dropping out of his world when Isabel didn't get out with him . . . Didn't move . . ._

_~*And how can I stand here with you*~  
~*And not be moved by you*~_

He felt like he couldn't breathe . . .

_He saw Kyle get struck down . . . He saw Michael try to protect them, saw him get hit too . . . Felt the burst like fire when Liz was hit . . ._

_Liz's final view of that time was Michael on his knees on the floor of the pod chamber, the bottom of his shirt and his jeans soaked in blood . . . too much blood . . . Liz's body was collapsed beside him with a matching red stain on her back . . ._

_Before the granolith transported her, Liz's pain faded yet she felt ill at the knowledge that Michael would die there, all alone, on the floor of the pod chamber, with Nicholas outside, trying to get in . . ._

_They had all died there . . ._

_~*Would you tell me how could it be*~  
~*Any better than this*~_

Her grief laid alongside his and it was _too much_. . .

He wrenched himself out of the connection, gasping . . .

_~*Cause you're all I want*~  
~*You're all I need*~_

He stumbled back from her and folded in half, trying to hold in his dinner . . . Wishing he could un-know what he'd just seen . . . _felt_ . . .

Liz reached for him but he shook his head, gagging, and she halted . . .

_~*You're everything*~  
~*Everything*~_

He wanted to but he couldn't seem to get beyond the horror of what he'd seen . . . Not to mention that he was having a hard time separating his emotions from Liz's . . .

_~*You're all I want*~_

He apologized without looking up even as he took another step back, then another, and even though Liz called his name, he couldn't stop himself from fleeing . . . Only stopping to vomit a few blocks later . . .

_~*You're all I need*~_

In his wake, Liz crumbled to the ground and cried.

_~*You're everything*~  
~*Everything*~_

How long she stayed that way, she didn't know, but suddenly someone was shaking her . . .

"Max?" she said softly until she looked up and saw her father's concerned eyes looking down at her.

"Dad?" she blinked. "What are you doing out here?"

"The better question is, what are _you_ doing out here?" he asked in concern as he pulled her up, wrapping an arm around her shoulders protectively.

"I . . . I . . ." she sniffed, trying to compose herself, trying to come up with a reason because there was no way she could tell him what really happened.

"It's ok" he said when she didn't continue. "Let's just get you inside, ok?" She nodded and he guided her into the Crashdown and up the stairs.

_~*Would you tell me how could it be*~  
~*Any better than this?*~_

~.~.~.~

Max stood at the base of the ladder to Liz's balcony, about to climb up, when a car drove by the alleyway, reversed and then came straight toward him, twin lights splitting the night in front of him. He put up his arm to block the light and squinted to see if the person was friend or foe. The driver's door slowly opened and before Max could react, he heard his sister's voice say his name in relief.

He dropped his arm and almost fell backward when Isabel rushed at him and crushed him in a hug. "Somehow I knew I'd find you here!"

"Isabel?" he stepped back from her. "What are you doing here?"

"I was looking for you- Meeting tonight- Tess is bad- Alex is in danger- Max, you have to heal Alex!" Isabel's words tripped over themselves in her attempt to get them out quickly.

Max blanched. "Heal Alex? What?"

"Max, I know you probably aren't going to believe this, but . . . Tess is doing something to Alex . . . to his mind Max. We couldn't even tell him it's so awful! . . . But if you don't, if you can't fix it, he might die!"

Max stumbled to the hood of his parent's car and sat down, his legs suddenly feeling rubbery.

Was history repeating itself? Is this what Liz was trying to fix?

Everything had turned upside down in the space of a few hours. Or maybe it'd just turned right side up again. He wasn't sure. But suddenly it seemed that up was down, right was wrong, and Tess was bad. How had he spent all that time with her and not sensed that? How had he forgotten what she'd done when she first came to Roswell? How had he let her in when he used to be so adamant about keeping her out?

He knew there were answers to these questions somewhere, he just couldn't seem to find his way to them. He was still having trouble sorting through it.

So he'd returned to Liz . . . his true north, his beacon, his _home_ . . . because he realized that over the past few months, even when he felt confused about practically everything, his walks, his path still led him to Liz. And after earlier, when he'd deserted her ('again!' his mind screamed) he needed to know that she was ok. Heck, he just needed her period. Which again drew his gaze to her balcony . . .

Isabel had been trying to patiently wait for Max to work through the shock of it all, but found she was having a hard time, considering how concerned she was over Alex. She shifted her weight a few times impatiently.

"Max! We have to go!" she said and when he didn't move or even seem to have heard her, she took matters into her own hands and dragged him off the hood of the car and pushed him into the passenger seat.

He was about to protest, but thought better of it when he noticed that Isabel was barely holding it together. So as she walked around to the driver's side of the car, he took one last wistful look at the ladder to Liz's balcony . . .

"The meeting Max!" Max focused on Isabel who was gripping the steering wheel tightly. "Liz did . . . Liz did this . . . this huge thing for us, even though we didn't know about it at the time but she-"

Quietly he interrupted "I know Isabel."

"You know? How do you know? When did you find out? Why didn't you tell me? What-"

"Isabel, take a breath! I found out tonight. I . . . I got flashes from Liz and I saw it . . . all of it . . . what she did, what she saw . . ." He could barely form the words to describe what Liz had experienced . . . What she'd _done_. . .

Isabel just nodded and focused on her driving, trying not to think about what Liz had lived through, or that god-awful nightmare or the damage Tess was doing to Alex's mind: All things she had been unsuccessfully trying to tune out since the meeting. She hoped that Max was able to fix what was wrong with Alex. Her hands were shaking as she pulled into Alex's driveway and cut the engine, tears streaming unhindered.

She wiped them away, but they just kept coming. She reached for the door handle but Max's hand on her arm stopped her.

"Isabel, I think you should go home."

"But-"

"No buts Isabel. Alex doesn't know what Tess is doing to him, right?"

Isabel shook her head reluctantly.

"So this is gonna be hard enough finding out that Tess has been messing with his mind, without you breaking down in front of him."

Isabel hesitated, torn between her desire to be there for Alex and yet not wanting to make this harder for him.

Max continued on.

"Besides, I need you to cover for me with Mom and Dad. I've been leaving out a lot lately without offering any kind of explanation. You and I both know that if at least one of us is home they worry less."

Isabel still gripped the car door, one foot outside, uncertain.

"Izzy, I'll take care of him, I promise. And you can call him later to see how he's feeling, ok?"

Isabel sighed and then pulled the door closed, still not looking at Max. He squeezed her shoulder then climbed out of the car.

"Max!" she called through the open window. "Tell him . . ." she trailed off.

"Iz, I'll tell him you wanted to be here . . . It'll be ok, I promise. Just go."

He got a jerky nod as a reward and then she pulled out of the driveway, glancing back once before pulling onto the road.

Max looked up at the stars as if to draw strength, took a deep breath and then walked to the front door and knocked.

~.~.~.~

_Lyrics from "Everything" by Lifehouse_


	15. Are you scared?

**Chapter 15: Are you scared?**

Max raised his hand to lift the knocker on Alex's door again, after having waited a few seconds to see if someone would answer. Just as the knocker was about to make contact, it swung slowly open and a sleepy-looking Alex stood in front of him, rubbing his eyes.

"Max?" Alex asked, blinking at him. "What are you doing here?"

"Um yeah, I just dropped by to, uh, see you . . ." Max said and trailed off uncertainly, not sure how to go about informing Alex that Tess had been messing with his mind and he had come to fix the damage.

Alex blinked some more, starting to wake up. "You came to see _me?_" he asked surprised. Then he started peering around Max. "You know, Isabel is looking for you man. You should've come to the meeting tonight. Big stuff's happening. Evil aliens, the world ending, Liz and Michael bonding, all types of crazy stuff . . ." Alex babbled on because he wasn't sure why Max was there. What if Tess was controlling him?

"Alex!" Max said, interrupting him. "Isabel was the one who dropped me off here. I, I know about what happened before with Liz. I know more than I wish I knew honestly" he said as he ran a hand tiredly through his hair.

"You know?" Alex asked and let out the breath he'd been holding in relief. "Well, come on in man!" he said enthusiastically as he led Max into the living room. "So why are you here? Shouldn't you be out devising a plan to defeat Tess or making up with Liz or apologizing to Michael or something?"

Max sat down heavily on the sofa, ignoring Alex's babble and trying to think of how to approach the reason for his visit. He looked at the stairs.

"Uh, did I wake your parents? Is it a problem me dropping by so late?" Max said and began rising from his seat, silently berating himself for not even thinking about Alex's parents beforehand.

"No, it's ok. They're away on some week-long getaway: children optional. So it's just little 'ol me here" Alex said as he settled on the sofa across from Max.

"Ok, um, good" Max said as he ran his hands through his hair again and prepared to get to the reason why he was there.

"Alex, how, uh, how have you been feeling lately?"

"Well, I've been . . . wait, huh?" Alex said, confused. Then comprehension dawned. "Is this about me going to the nurse yesterday? Did Liz or - or Isabel send you over here to heal me? 'Cause it's nothing really. We have bigger fish to fry right about now what with-"

"Alex!" Max interrupted him again. "It's not 'nothing.' Tess has been screwing with your mind and it's done damage. I'm here to fix it" he said evenly.

He noted the denial that came over Alex's face before he even spoke a word.

"What? Tess isn't doing anything to me! I'd know if she . . ." he trailed off at the determined look on Max's face, realizing that with all that was going on, Max would not have come if there wasn't a possibility of truth to what he said. Alex still found himself resistant to the idea though. He couldn't accept that Tess could have been screwing around in his head and he not at least have an inkling of it. But he knew Max wouldn't leave until he'd at least tried.

"Fine, fine" he said as he tugged on the bottom of his t-shirt restlessly. "You go ahead and do your, your hocus-pocus thing, but when you find that it's just a case of tiredness, won't you feel silly?"

For all his bravado, he still shrunk back as Max moved to sit beside him. "This isn't . . ." he paused " . . . gonna hurt, is it? 'Cause I have a low pain threshold and-"

Max was now starting to regret his decision to not let Isabel accompany him, because Alex obviously needed someone to calm him down and, for all the time they'd spent around each other, Max really didn't know what would help Alex in this situation.

"It's not gonna hurt. Just . . . just sit back and let me fix what's wrong, ok?"

Alex just nodded, so Max raised his hands and placed them on either side of Alex's head. He closed his eyes and concentrated.

Alex found this whole situation very strange, but he trusted Max, so he just waited, wondering if it was working. He was about to ask when the first flash hit.

***Flash***

_Tess coming to him under the guise of needing help with an assignment and searching his mind for the ability to interpret the Destiny book._

***Flash***

_Him starting the interpretation, but telling Tess that he needs more power to decipher the codes._

***Flash***

_Him and Liz discussing the new supercomputer at UNM during lunch and Tess sitting quietly at the table._

***Flash***

_Tess taking him to his guidance counselor and mindwarping him into arranging a fake trip to Sweden for him to cover an extended stay at the University of New Mexico._

***Flash***

_Him resisting leaving his friends and family to go stay in UNM's dorm. Tess informing him that he will interpret the Destiny book using the supercomputer or she'll start 'accidentally' killing his friends . . . starting with Liz because she would love for Liz to be out of her hair for good._

***Flash***

_Days and days of working on the interpretation, practically day and night. Then one day a ray of hope enters his field of vision in the form of Jennifer Coleman. She notices the delivery guy bringing him Thai food and starts up a conversation. She drops by a couple of times, but it doesn't last long after Tess shows up during one of the times that they're talking. She leads Jennifer away and she never stops by again. Tess comes back with pictures that she tells him to set aside for later. Then the pain begins._

_She's hurting him and she won't stop._

_He begs her to stop._

_His head feels like it's going to explode from all of the pressure, but Tess says that she's just teaching him a lesson. Showing him what she can do if he doesn't focus on interpreting the book. What she can and *will* do to him and all the people he cares about._

_The pain is so intense he passes out._

_When he wakes up, Tess calmly rises and tells him to get back to work._

***Flash***

_Tess waking him up and telling him to get over to the lab and finish interpreting the book. When he insists he needs rest, that his head is hurting, Tess causes the headaches to get worse, till he can barely stand._

***Flash***

_Tess standing over him while he's in pain. Her telling him that him and his precious friends are insignificant little specks on her radar. Then her kicking him in the stomach and telling him once again to get back to work._

***End Flash***

Alex felt like his head was being ripped in two with all of the new memories he was suddenly accessing. But then, as abruptly as they'd started, the flashes stopped.

Alex opened his eyes and found that he felt . . . good. Better than he had in ages. There was no headache and no tiredness. He felt like himself again.

He looked over at Max and Max opened his eyes tiredly. "Are you ok?" Max asked him. "How do you feel?"

"I feel great!" Alex informed him. "Better than I have in like, forever! But you man, how do _you_ feel? You look really tired."

"Yeah, I am. Just let me . . . I, I'm gonna rest here for a minute, ok?"

"Sure man, whatever you need . . . And, and thanks" Alex said to him quietly.

Max nodded, then closed his eyes. The last thing he saw was a happy Alex sitting next to him.

Alex tried to hold on to that happy feeling, but found that it was quickly giving way to anger. An anger so intense, he found he couldn't sit still.

Tess had stolen months of his life, she'd violated his memories, she'd threatened his friends, and she would eventually cause the end of the world if she wasn't stopped. She'd invaded his mind and nearly killed him. And that was just a typical day for her.

Someone had to stop her so it might as well be him. _She'd never expect it from him._

He took one last look at Max sleeping peacefully on the couch, then he turned and strode purposefully to his father's study, where his father kept his gun.

Max woke a little while later and at first he had no idea where he was. Then looking around, it all came back to him. He got up and walked around looking for Alex, but all he found was empty rooms.

Alex was gone.

~.~.~.~

The phone rung shrilly, yanking Liz out of a restless sleep.

"Hello?" she mumbled, trying to shake off the lingering traces of her dreams.

"Liz, it's Max. I'm uh, sorry to be calling you so late, but I'm, I'm kinda worried . . ."

"Max? What's wrong?" Liz asked, snapping the rest of the way awake she almost felt dizzy.

"It's uh, it's Alex . . . I healed him earlier tonight and now he's, uh, he's gone . . ."

Liz was quiet, trying to digest this information. Warning bells started going off in her head after a few seconds.

_"Oh God"_ she whispered. "The Valenti's, Max, he's going after Tess . . ."

"What? Why would he do that?"

"Max, you healed him. You know why" Liz answered, still speaking softly. "I-I have to go" she said and hung up, hand trembling as she covered her mouth to smother a sob. She bent at the waist, taking a few gasping breaths and then she ruthlessly pushed the panic down. After a few seconds she stood up, wiped her face, slid on her sneakers and then snuck quickly out of her room. She grabbed the keys to her parent's car out of the bowl on the table and eased out of the apartment. Once out she bolted to the car and sped over to the Valenti's, breaking speeding laws and running lights the whole way. She cursed and stopped behind Max's haphazardly parked jeep and ran to the door that was already open. She stopped after clearing the threshold.

Max was standing just left of the door with his hands outstretched in a supplicating gesture, Tess was standing in front of the kitchen, and Alex was standing next to the sofa.

And he had a gun aimed square at Tess.

_~*I know some things never change*~_  
_~*But this can't be one of them*~_

She'd had this nightmare so many times that for a moment she wasn't sure she was even awake. Her mind seized until Tess started concentrating and the gun began to shake in Alex's hand.

_~*I don't think I can stand it*~_  
_~*Any longer*~_

Dream or not, she had to try. She dove for Alex and knocked the gun out of his hands.

_~*Are you scared?*~_

"Liz?" Alex questioned as he flew sideways from the impact. He caught her and steadied both of them, shaking his head a moment later to clear it. He looked down at Liz in surprise, just as Max was doing, so no one was prepared for what happened next.

_~*Are you scared?*~_

"You have been a thorn in my side for the last time Liz Parker! I should have killed you a long time ago!" Tess said as she leveled the gun at Liz, already squeezing the trigger.

_~*Are you scared? *~_

"No!" Max yelled, diving in front of Liz as the gun discharged and firing off a blast at Tess simultaneously.

_~* 'Cause if you're scared*~_

The blast sent Tess sailing across the room. She hit her head hard on the floor and laid still.

_~*You're not alone*~_

"It's over Max" Liz said from her position sprawled under his weight. She started untangling herself from beneath him until she realized that Max wasn't moving.

_~*I once thought I was brave*~_

"Max?" She rested a hand on his back as she sat up as much as she could. It came away wet with blood.

_~*But I can't stop crying*~_

"Max!" she cried out in panic. There was a rapidly growing puddle of red forming where Max lay across her. His eyes were closed.

_~*Sometimes I think*~_  
_~*I'm going crazy*~_

He was losing so much blood. She was drowning in it. They both were.

Maybe it was just a dream, maybe she was dreaming . . .

_~*But I am waiting patiently*~_  
_~*Though I feel*~_  
_~*It'll all be in vain*~_

"Liz!" Alex yelled, pulling her clear and checking for wounds as her eyes glazed over. "The bullet didn't hit me" she said, coming out of it and pushing his hands away weakly. Her voice wobbled. _"Just Max."_

Alex collapsed back on his hindquarters, dizzy at the amount of blood surrounding them.

Liz swallowed a sob as she placed her hand over Max's wound and watched the blood pour out around her fingers. She pressed harder. _Did this ever help?_ she wondered. Max couldn't die. This wasn't supposed to happen. No one was supposed to die . . . There was so much blood. Everywhere she looked seemed to be coated in a haze of red. It was nearly painful to look at . . . Then the color started fading . . . She almost stopped applying pressure, not sure what she was witnessing. The colors continued to fade and Liz was almost positive she was losing it. And then everything was gray.

Just shades of gray . . .

"Liz!" Alex was shaking her and she blinked the world back into focus. "What are we gonna do? We can't call an ambulance!"

_~*Are you scared?*~_

_'You will know how to use your powers when the need for them arises.'_

She could hear the voice in her mind as if she had just spoken to her.

And then she knew . . .

"Max" she shook him hoping, _praying,_ it wasn't too late. "Max!" she yelled. For a moment there was no response, then Max opened his eyes sluggishly.

"You- you have to look at me" she said to him softly.

_~*Are you scared? *~_

His eyes shifted to her slowly. Time seemed to stand still and Liz felt a kick that she knew was the ability to heal. She began knitting together the torn flesh of his chest, dissolving the bullet and repairing its damage. In the back of her mind, she registered the flashes that she received but she didn't have time to process them.

_~*Are you scared?*~_

When she was done, she drooped, her hand trailng to Max's cheek "It's ok" she whispered. "You're ok now."

Max sat up blinking at her. Alex's mouth was hanging open. Then he snapped it shut.

"Well, that's one problem solved" he said. "Now we just have to deal with the other one."

And they all turned to look at where Tess had fallen, but there was just an empty space.

_~*'Cause if you're scared*~_

Tess was gone.

_~*You're not alone*~_

~.~.~.~

_Lyrics from "You're Not Alone" by Kendall Payne_


	16. Make it go away

**Chapter 16: Make it go away**

Max and Alex began talking at once.

"Where did she go?" "Could she still be here?" "What did you just _do_ Liz?"

Liz got to her feet slowly, their voices barely registering as background noise. She was looking down at her hands, which were wet, but the substance on them was gray.

Why was everything gray? And why was the room shifting?

She heard Max say her name but it sounded far away . . .

She looked around; feeling like the whole world had started moving in slow motion.

She held her hands palm up. "Is this blood?"

Then she swayed on her feet and passed out.

~.~.~.~

Kyle pulled onto his street slowly and very reluctantly.

He'd driven around after the meeting, putting off going home. He dreaded having to be around Tess and pretend that things were ok. He figured if he drove around long enough, she'd be sleeping by the time he got home.

It was distressing what a difference a day could make.

Finding out that the girl you'd been starting to think of as a part of the family meant to destroy you and your friends and would eventually cause the end of the world if she wasn't stopped was sobering.

It still hadn't really sunk in.

He wondered not for the first time how he had gotten into all of this. He was supposed to have a simple life: be the town all-star, with the perfect girlfriend, adored by most and envied by some, until he left for college and eventually ended up playing for the pros . . .

And a part of him still wanted that life, wanted to be completely oblivious to the existence of aliens and time travel and blue goop trying to take over the world.

But the other part of him, the part that he was trying to ignore right now, understood that his life had a higher purpose now.

It just all got mixed up when you were sharing a residence with a very evil alien who doubled as a seemingly innocent girl that you had to look across the breakfast table at every morning.

He sighed, hoping this wouldn't be how his life was from now on . . . Avoiding the evil alien he was unfortunate enough to share a home with . . .

As he approached his house, his brow furrowed, seeing Max's car parked at a slant in front and what he suspected was Liz's parent's car parked behind it.

He climbed out of his car and cautiously approached the front door, which was wide open.

He stepped inside and stopped in shock.

Both Max and Alex were bent over an unconscious Liz.

_"What the hell?"_

Alex looked up at him but Max didn't even blink as Liz stirred in his arms.

Max gathered her closer, doing a quick scan to make sure she was ok. He exhaled, satisfied with the results.

"Max?" Alex questioned.

Max flicked a glance at him then rose with Liz in his arms. "We should get out of here" he tossed back as he headed for the door.

He awkwardly took his keys out of his pocket and tossed them to Alex. "You drive."

Alex caught the keys easily. "Sure, but uh, where are we going?"

"I'll tell you in the car."

"Hello?" Kyle said as they passed him. "Totally confused guy, still standing right here."

"Just follow us, we're not going far" Max said without breaking stride. Alex jumped into the driver's seat as Max settled into the back with Liz still in his arms. Alex started the jeep and began to pull off a minute later.

Kyle, frozen up till that point, flew into action, closing the door to the house and running to his car, not wanting to get left behind.

"And so the drama continues . . ." he muttered to himself as he fell in behind Max's jeep.

He noticed as he was driving away that Tess's car was gone.

~.~.~.~

"Alex, head to Michael's . . . I'll call him and let him know we're coming."

"How's she doing?" Alex asked, peering at them through the rearview mirror before re-focusing on the road.

"She'll be ok. I think she's just exhausted from the healing. It takes a lot out of you and it was her first time . . ." Max trailed off as Liz whimpered. He looked down at her. Even in her passed out state, she still seemed to be battling demons. He smoothed her hair away from her face and whispered. "Shhhh . . . It's ok Liz . . . Everything's ok . . ."

"Max" she said softly and shifted closer to him. Finding a comfortable position, she exhaled and her breathing returned to normal.

Max reveled in the feeling of Liz in his arms again, even in this circumstance. It wasn't so long ago that he thought he'd never experience this again. He wanted to savor it, even if now wasn't the time. Still, he had calls to make . . .

He sighed as he reached for his cell phone. He first called Isabel and then Maria and told them to meet him at Michael's. Maria wasn't thrilled to be woken up, but when Max started talking, she didn't complain. Isabel sounded completely alert, waiting for news of Alex. Barely fielding her questions, but assuring her that Alex was ok, Max told her to meet him at Michael's.

A soft smile crossed Alex's face as he listened.

Next, Max called Michael, who already seemed to be up. He answered the phone sounding worried.

"Michael, the whole group's heading your way. Something happened . . . We'll all be there in a few minutes."

"What the hell Maxwell? I knew something didn't feel right! Is anybody hurt?"

Before Max could answer, Liz stirred in her sleep and murmurred his name.

"I'm here sweetie. It's ok, just go back to sleep . . ."

"Ok" she yawned and patted his arm before she surrendered to slumber once again.

"Max? Maxwell?"

"Yeah, Michael. We're pulling into the parking lot now, ok?" and he hit the end button.

He and Alex emerged from the car and started towards Michael's building. They hadn't taken more than a few steps before Michael was upon them.

"Liz?" he looked at Max accusingly. "What did you do to her?" Without waiting for an answer, he pulled Liz from Max's arms. Max would have fought him, but he didn't want to wrestle over Liz. He felt the chill of her absence immediately. He stuffed his hands into his pockets and followed Michael.

"If you hurt her, I'm kicking your ass" Michael said warningly as he strode towards his building.

"I didn't-" Max started, but Liz, sensing a difference, stirred in Michael's arms and opened her eyes.

"Michael?" she said weakly, blinking at him in surprise.

"Yeah Liz, it's me. We'll be in my apartment in a sec. Do you feel ok? Did Max hurt you?" he asked concerned.

"Max? Max! Is he ok? Put me down Michael! Max!" she screamed.

Max scrambled from behind Michael as he set her down hesitantly. "I'm here, I'm right here . . . Let's just get you inside . . ." He wrapped an arm around her waist to help her suddenly wobbly legs to stand. Michael glared but he ignored him. He just wanted Liz to be ok.

Kyle pulled into Michael's parking lot and got out of his car, watching the scene silently. He hurried to join Alex, walking behind the three of them. He noticed that it was a kind of standoff, with Max guiding a bemused Liz to Michael's apartment with Michael hovering protectively behind.

~.~.~.~

Maria came tearing into the parking lot, a mess of squealing tires and protesting brakes and climbed from her vehicle. Isabel arrived a few seconds later.

"So do you know what this is about?" Maria asked.

Isabel shook her head. "The last time I saw Max he was going to heal Alex-"

"Heal Alex?" Maria blanched.

"Uh, let's just get inside" Isabel hedged as they both rushed to Michael's apartment and burst in, afraid of what they might find.

They found Liz stretched out on Michael's sofa looking exhausted. Max was hovering, Kyle looked confused, Michael looked concerned and pissed at the same time, and Alex looked like he didn't know what to do.

"Alex! You're ok!" Isabel said, immediately going to him, and giving him a hug, drawing comfort from just being near him. "You _are_ ok, aren't you?" she asked, pulling back.

"You mean, did Max heal me? Yeah, he did. I'm all better" Alex said, giving her a shy grin. Isabel breathed a sigh of relief , smiling back.

"Ok, so why did Alex need to be healed? What the hell is going on?" Kyle exclaimed, feeling like he'd been seriously left out of the loop.

"That's what I'd like to know" Maria said, hands on hips, ready to pummel answers out of everyone if she had to.

Michael got up and pulled Maria from her spot standing near Max.

"Michael, what-?"

Isabel turned and addressed the room. "Ok guys, what's going on? What happened?"

"You got me . . . I've been waiting for an explanation for a while now" Kyle answered looking at Max and Alex warily.

"Tess got away" Liz said softly, from her seat on the sofa. "She shot Max trying to shoot me and she got away . . ."

"She shot Max?" Isabel exclaimed, only just now noticing the torn shirt underneath Max's jacket.

"Oh My God!" she said as she rushed over to him.

"I'm fine Iz. I'm fine" Max assured her as he waved his hand over his shirt and made the damage disappear.

"So what's wrong with you Liz?" Michael interrupted gruffly. "You didn't get shot, did you?"

She just continued looking down, not answering.

"No, she kinda . . . healed Max" Alex said slowly.

Everyone turned to look at Liz in surprise. She tucked her hair behind her ear nervously and avoided everyone's eyes.

"Since when does Liz have powers?" Kyle asked.

"How did Tess get away? And what were you doing anyway? I thought we agreed on waiting to go after Tess" Michael said, ignoring Kyle's question.

"We did agree to wait, but I kinda went after Tess on my own" Alex said, not meeting anyone's eyes.

Isabel balked. "Why would you do that?"

"What she said" Maria threw in, hands back on her hips.

"I, um . . ." Alex stumbled over an explanation.

"The important thing is that he's safe now" Max said, trying to take some of the pressure off of Alex. Max had seen the flashes of what Tess had done to him. If anyone had a right to go after Tess, it was Alex. It may not have been the smartest move, but he could understand the reasoning behind it. He was just thankful that Liz had figured out where he'd gone. Things could have ended up so much worse . . .

"Why are you suddenly on our side Max?" Michael said with hostility. "Did it take Tess almost killing you to get you to see she's not on our side? That she never has been?"

Max lifted guilty eyes to Michael, but Liz's voice cut through as she spoke in soft tones. "Tess was doing something to him, to his mind Michael . . . That's why he couldn't believe us." Max looked at her in shock, this being the first he'd heard of this. He'd never even suspected . . .

"She was playing on his feelings of anger and . . . and betrayal, when he thought I . . . thought that I slept with Kyle." Her gaze moved to Kyle but skittered away quickly. "She compounded those emotions so that they practically took him over. But when he got flashes from me earlier tonight, it broke the hold she had over him."

"And how do you know this Liz? Is that what he told you?" Michael said, unable to let it go.

"I saw it when I healed him." Looking up, she met Michael's eyes. "Just let it go Michael" she said softly. "Regardless of how it happened, we're all on the same side now. And Tess is still out there somewhere." She looked around the room at her friends. "This is not the time to be dwelling on past hurts."

"But-"

"Michael, he's your family. Let it go."

Everyone was surprised at Liz's words and their effect on Michael. He seemed to calm immediately as he said "Fine" gruffly and pulled Maria closer.

Maria looked up at Michael, then across at Liz, whose focus was now on her lap again. Somehow Liz had gotten the inside track on her boyfriend. She'd have to talk to her about that later. Liz looked absolutely exhausted at the moment.

Maria tuned back in to discover that the group was discussing exactly what had happened after the meeting they'd held earlier. A subject she should definitely be paying attention to.

When everyone was finally up to speed, Max pointed out what no one had been willing to say up till that point.

"We're not safe . . . Tess has the ability to get into people's minds and make them see things that aren't there . . . and not see things that are. She could be anywhere, anytime. She almost killed Alex, she tried to kill Liz and she nearly killed me. So from now on no one goes anywhere alone. Kyle, Maria, Alex, Liz, anywhere you guys go, one of us should always be with you. We may not be able to see her if she's there, but at least we 3 have a fighting chance because of our powers."

"Liz has powers now too" Maria threw in.

"Yeah, and what's up with that anyway?" Kyle asked. "Does she have powers because you healed her? 'Cause if so, does that mean I have them too?" Kyle looked none too pleased at the idea.

Max dragged his hand down his face wearily. A gesture that only appeared when he was feeling overwhelmed. "I don't know Kyle. I just don't know. We can investigate it later if you want."

"Later or never, whichever" Kyle muttered.

"For tonight, I think we all should stick together. Tess is most likely to strike again quickly, hoping to catch us vulnerable." They all looked around at each other nervously. "So Alex, your parents are out of town right?"

Alex nodded, confused about the change of subject.

"Well, I think that's where we need to go . . . All of us" Max said in a tone that brooked no argument. "We'll deal with the fallout in the morning. Right now I just want everyone safe."

So it was a tired and stressed bunch that trudged out of Michael's apartment and to their separate cars. Before getting in, they agreed that both Isabel and Liz needed to drop off their parents' cars in order to avoid upsetting their parents further in the morning and that they needed to call Kyle's Dad and tell him to stay somewhere else for the night. Max wanted to drive Liz, but she insisted that he drive his own car and she would let Alex drive her. They'd have plenty of time to talk later.

She watched him walk away silently, then she climbed into the car with Alex.

"And where does the lady desire to go this evening?" Alex asked with a thick British accent.

Liz smiled at him, then said quietly "I'm glad you're ok."

"Of course I'm ok Lizzie" he replied. "I strong. Like bull" he said in a bad Russian accent as he puffed out his chest. Liz laughed, something she didn't think she was capable of tonight, if ever again.

She sobered quickly.

"Alex, you can never, ever do anything like that ever again! I lost you once, I can't lose you again" she said, voice breaking.

Alex inhaled sharply. "Did I- Was I- I died?" he questioned quietly.

She looked at him for a moment with tears refusing to fall and nodded.

Alex softened. "It's ok Lizzie. I'm ok. I'm sorry for worrying you."

Alex spent the rest of the drive speaking in funny voices, trying to distract Liz from her thoughts.

It almost worked.

The procession of cars headed first to the Evans' and then to the Crashdown. Finally, they were down to Max, Maria and Kyle's cars as they headed to Alex's.

When they arrived sleeping arrangements were quickly made with Isabel, Max and Michael agreeing to sleep in shifts. They secured every door and window in the house, putting a little extra behind the locks so that Tess couldn't get in (they hoped) without alerting someone.

Michael had offered to take first watch, too wired to sleep anyway. So everyone trudged off to their respective rooms.

~.~.~.~

Max knocked softly on the guestroom door and then entered at the soft "Come in" he heard from the other side.

Maria was busily folding down the covers on the bed when he stepped inside.

"Liz, you have a visitor" she called out. A second later, the bathroom door opened and Liz stepped into the room, shutting off the bathroom light as she did so. Her and Max's eyes immediately locked and the room was completely silent.

"I'm gonna go..." Maria paused, waiting for one or both of them to look over. "Riiiiight" she muttered, rolling her eyes as she left the room. Clearly it was back to business as usual with those two.

"Liz, I'm so sorry" were the first words out of Max's mouth as he stepped towards her, even as the door was closing behind Maria.

Liz shook her head. "Max it's ok, Tess was messing with your head . . ."

"No, I mean about everything, everything you had to go through because of us . . . because of me-"

Liz stepped closer, putting a finger to his lips, silencing him. "It's ok Max" she said softly. She met his eyes, expression unguarded, and Max's expression filled with awe.

They continued to gaze into each other's eyes until Liz stifled a yawn.

"Liz! You should be sleeping. We can talk in the morning, after you're rested." Max guided her to the bed. Liz just allowed herself to be led and sat down on the edge. "I'll talk to you in the morning" Max said and placed a chaste kiss on her forehead, then with a single glance back, he left the room.

~.~.~.~

When Maria entered a little while later, she found Liz still perched on the edge of the bed, staring off into space.

"Chica, are you ok?" she questioned. Liz looked over at her, jolted out of her thoughts. "Yeah" she answered softly.

"You've had the weight of the world on your shoulders for awhile now." Maria said to her. "Get some rest."

"I will Maria, thanks."

"Anytime Lizzie" Maria said, turning down her side of the covers. "But stay on your side of the bed and no spooning me" she said, wagging a finger at Liz.

Liz smiled. "You wish" she said as she climbed under the covers and Maria climbed in on her side.

"Goodnight Liz."

"Goodnight Maria."

"Goodnight John-boy" they both said together, and then laughed at the nightly ritual for sleepovers they'd had since they were younger.

Liz lay and listened as Maria's breathing evened out but she just couldn't fall asleep. Eventually she crept out of bed and downstairs.

"Hey" Michael said from the sofa in the dark living room.

"Hey Michael" Liz said, blinking, trying to get her eyes to adjust to the dark.

"So how's it going?" he asked. She threw him a look that he could sense, even in the dark. "Riiiight . . . nevermind. Can't sleep?" he asked instead.

Even in the darkened room, he saw her shake her head no. "Well, I'm here if you want to talk . . . Tonight had to have been really hard . . ."

"Yeah, um Michael? I'm gonna just get something to drink and then I'm gonna go to bed . . . We can talk tomorrow, ok?" she said as she hastily stepped away from the couch. She definitely wasn't ready to start talking about what had almost happened today.

"Oh-k" Michael said hesitantly, knowing she needed to talk about what happened, but deciding not to push her.

She began to turn away, then she turned back to him quickly. "Did you want coffee or something? Since you'll be up most of the night keeping watch . . ."

"Yeah, that'd be great Liz . . . and uh, tabasco sauce if they have it . . ."

Liz just nodded and headed into the kitchen. She turned on the light and went to the cabinet, grabbing the sleepy-time tea for herself and the coffee grounds for Michael. She then searched for the tabasco sauce, knowing that Alex kept some in the house for when Isabel stopped by. She found a bottle behind some cereal in the cabinet, so she pulled it down . . . and stared at it.

She pulled out the ketchup too. Beginning to shake a little, she made her way over to the light switch and flipped it off . . .

She didn't want to see anymore . . .

_~*Make it go away*~_

Caught between confusion and fear, she sat down at the table.

_~*Or make it better*~_

She was busy fighting an internal battle so she had no idea how much time passed, but she felt when Max stepped into the room. She could sense his hesitancy even over the ocean of space separating them.

_~*Isn't that what love is supposed to do?*~_

"Liz?"

_~*Make it go away*~_  
_~*Or make it better*~_

She didn't answer. Max stepped closer.

_~* 'Cause I would do either one for you*~_

"I don't know what's happening to me" she whispered not looking up.

_~*This is not the way you should see me*~_

"I know why I'm here" she continued. "I-I know I'm supposed to stop it this time around..."

_~*This is not the face I recognize*~_

"No one's supposed to die . . ." she whispered, pulling her knees up and wrapping her arms around them.

_~*Should I lay my head down here for a moment?*~_

"Liz what is it?" Max asked, instantly by her side. He reached out for her and she tensed, almost about to tell him not to touch her, but she wanted his comfort, needed something she could feel . . .

_~*Would you sing to me like I'm your child?*~_

She waved at the bottles on the counter. "I- there's nothing wrong with those bottles, right? They're the usual shade of red?"

She looked up at Max, her expression so hopeful he wished he knew what she was really asking. He looked at the bottles, caught in the beam of moonlight shining in through the window, then looked back at her. Finally he nodded. Her expression fell, breaking his heart a little.

"I-I can't see colors Max . . ." she said haltingly, hugging her bent knees.

_~* 'Cause I'm not angry*~_

"The world's nothing but gray now" she continued softly.

_~*Oh I'm not crying*~_

"The last color I saw was when you were bleeding out . . . I thought . . ." Her arms tightened around her knees.

_~*I'm just in over my head*~_

"Gunshots always bleed _so much_" her voice broke.

_~*Well you could be the angel that stayed on my shoulder*~_

"You lost so much blood Max . . . Like Alex-" her words caught on a sob.

_~*When all the other angels left*~_

Max quickly dropped into a chair and pulled her into his arms.

_~*So make it go away*~_  
_~* 'Cause I am weak and*~_

Her sobs increased as his arms closed around her.

_~*This is more than one should have to take*~_

The grief and terror she had been stuffing down since she'd had Max's blood on her hands poured out as her world narrowed to the enclosure of Max's arms and his warmth, a reminder, a _confirmation_, that she hadn't lost him today, that he was still here . . .

_~*If you do this for me*~_  
_~*Well I will promise*~_

Her sobs echoed around the kitchen as she clutched at him, unable to form more words to explain . . .

_~*I'll make it go away for you someday*~_

"Maxwell, what the hell?" Michael growled as he snapped the light on. "What did you _do_?" towering over Max and glaring in a way that most would find intimidating.

Max simply held up a restraining hand as Liz clutched him tighter, nearly mindless in her grief. He looked up at Michael pleadingly. "Michael, I'll take care of her, I promise." Michael looked torn, but as he watched Liz cling to Max like he was her lifeline, he nodded and then quietly left the room as Liz's sobs continued behind him.

Max rocked Liz in his arms and ran his hands through her hair soothingly, all the while whispering comforting words until her sobs turned to hiccups and then subsided altogether . . . When she was completely quiet, Max looked down and saw that she was asleep. He felt his heart expand in that moment. Liz had gone through so much because of them, because of him, because of what he was. She had given up so much, lost so much, and it wasn't over yet. He pushed away the guilt that threatened to overwhelm him. Now was not the time.

Remembering her talk of being colorblind, he did a thorough scan, but could find nothing wrong. It was just another one of the things they would have to discuss in the morning . . .

When he was sure she was sleeping soundly and wouldn't waken, he gathered her fully into his arms and carried her for the second time that day. He headed out of the kitchen and when he passed by Michael, he could sense his gaze, but thankfully Michael didn't say anything.

Max made his way up the stairs and to the guest room Liz and Maria were sharing. Maria didn't stir as Max laid Liz down on her side of the bed. Immediately with the loss of his body, Liz murmurred a protest and curled into a ball. Max brushed his lips across her forehead and whispered "Sweet dreams sweetheart," connecting with her just enough to send pleasant memories of a childhood spent playing with Maria and Alex. As a soft smile transformed her features, Max brushed her cheek briefly, then straightened, glad that he could at least give her this . . .

~.~.~.~

Liz jerked awake, her senses registering several things at once . . . First that Maria wasn't in the room, then that the bedroom door was open, and next that the small hairs on her arms were standing on end . . . Something compelled her to sit up and just as she did, something fired past her and singed the pillow where her head had been. Without pausing to think, she immediately rolled out of bed . . . And into a soft body where no one was standing . . .

Only one explanation . . . TESS!

Liz didn't look back and didn't pause, she just bolted . . . out of the room and down the stairs, yelling to Max and the others . . . By the time she was down the stairs, they were all congregated in the living room with varying degrees of concern on their faces . . .

"Your shield Max! Put up your shield!" Liz cried, even as she reached his side.

Max immediately raised his shield and surrounded them all in it even as he turned to her to ask why.

"Just keep your shield up Max!" she yelled, focused on the stairs she'd just run down.

And that's when he felt someone firing at his shield. And a blink later they were surrounded by Skins!

"What the hell?" "We have to get out of here!" "What's happening?" "Where did they come from?"

Everyone was talking at once, but Liz was concentrating . . . trying to find the presence in her mind that was Tess . . . And when she found it, she expelled her permanently, like a door slamming shut . . . And then the Skins that seemed to have them outnumbered disappeared and she could see Tess fleeing out of the front door . . . She grabbed Max's hand, connecting with him and he saw the Skins disappear too and Tess escaping. Max grabbed Isabel's hand and Isabel grabbed Michael's hand and they all saw Tess leaving.

"Lower your shield Max!" Michael yelled. A moment later he charged after her, hand raised for battle. But she was already in her vehicle, speeding away . . .

"Dammit!" Michael yelled. "What the hell just happened? Did she just get away _again_?"

~.~.~.~

Tess could feel each of them throwing her out of their heads, flinching as her warp was tossed back in her face.

Not that this would deter her.

It just meant that she'd have to go about this differently next time.

And there _would_ be a next time because she desperately needed the last part of the interpretation that Alex had finished.

She'd get off this miserable planet if it was the last thing she did . . . Even if she had to kill them all in the process . . .

~.~.~.~

_Lyrics from "Make it go away" by Holly Cole_


	17. Divided We Fall

**Note:** Not too much action in this part, just some conversations that are long past due, hope you enjoy . . .

**Chapter 17: Divided We Fall**

They were gathered at the bluffs overlooking the water, having left Alex's house in lieu of a safer place to talk.

Maria was standing by her car on the phone.

"Mom, I'm sorry for leaving out so early, but Liz and I really needed to study for this English Lit exam we have coming up." She was silent as she listened. "Well, it's worth a quarter of our grade so it's kinda important" she answered.

"Ok, Mom. If you need me, just call me on my cell phone . . . Ok, bye."

Maria joined the rest of the group standing a little ways away.

"How'd it go?" Alex asked.

"Fine. It looks like we lucked out again and our parents didn't catch us. But you know, if we keep this up, it's only a matter of time . . ." she trailed off. The group looked somber enough; there was no point in making it worse.

"So fine, what's our plan?" Maria said, hands on hips.

Max looked up from his place standing beside Liz. He had been talking to her quietly, but now he looked around at the members of their group. Seeing the grim expressions on everyone's faces, he not for the first time wished that their lives didn't have to be so complicated . . . That they just could be just what they appeared . . . Normal teenagers. Then he could just be a boy, in love with a girl. But all the faces looking back at him reminded him otherwise. They expected him to have answers.

He took a deep breath. "We have to change the game."

"Huh?" Maria said.

"What are you talking about Max?" Isabel threw in.

Max looked over at the water contemplatively and then back at the group.

"Tess and I are supposed to have this, this connection." He looked at Liz and then at her reassuring nod, he continued. "I've heard her say it many times . . . That her and I are, are connected because of what we were . . . before . . . I never really believed it but-" He swallowed. "I think it's there . . ."

Liz couldn't help but fidget a little and Michael tensed. "What is your point Maxwell?" he said sharply. Maria who had also noticed Liz's reaction, looked over at him surprised.

"Well, what if our, uh, 'connection' could be expanded so that I could locate her?" Max said.

Michael tossed a rock into the water forcing himself to relax. "Do you really think that's possible?"

Max watched the ripples as the rock skipped across the surface as he answered.

"Isabel is able to get into people's minds no matter where they are, just by touching their picture when they're asleep. If I already have a connection to Tess, why wouldn't I be able to use it as a tracking device? Liz has shown us that we're capable of a lot more than we thought . . ."

They looked at Liz, who had figured out how to block Tess's ability to get into their minds. Liz, uncomfortable with the attention, looked away from the group and focused on the clouds reflection rippling across the water. _'There are so many different shades of gray . . .'_ ran briefly through her mind.

Max started speaking again, effectively drawing attention away from Liz. "So I've been testing it out since this morning . . . I've been putting out feelers for Tess and I think I just might be able to find her" he said with confidence.

No one said anything as this information sunk in, so he continued.

"We have the advantage right now. Tess's strongest power is her mindwarp and she can't use it on us. It's time to be proactive. Up till now we've been reactive and it's getting us nowhere."

"Welcome to my world Maxwell" Michael said in approval.

Isabel rolled her eyes at Michael. "So how is this gonna work?"

"Michael and I are gonna go after Tess. I can sense that she's somewhere on the outskirts of town. You all can head back into town and we'll be in touch" Max responded.

"Well then, why are we still standing here? Let's go" Michael threw over his shoulder as he headed to Max's jeep. Max looked after him in annoyance and Maria, after a second of stunned disbelief, stomped off after him, intent on giving him a piece of her mind.

Kyle picked this moment to speak up. He was not thrilled being powerless in this scenario and having to take orders from Max was just the icing on the cake.

"So while you're off using your" he wiggled his fingers "spidey-sense to track Tess, what if she doubles back to take another crack at us?"

Max turned to him and sighed. "Isabel will be there if anything happens" he responded, ignoring the taunt Kyle had leveled at him.

"But-" Isabel started, ready to object. She wanted to be there in case something went wrong with trying to catch Tess.

"Iz, we need someone to stay to protect the rest of the group" Max said. Isabel tossed her hair with a huff and folded her arms. He continued. "Tess can't mindwarp us Isabel. We can take her. Trust me, finding her will be the hardest part."

"Fine, but I just want to go on record as saying that I am not happy being left behind."

"Duly noted" Max said as his attention shifted back to Liz. Seeing that Max was now in Liz-land, Isabel rolled her eyes but followed when Alex gently tugged her towards Kyle's car.

Kyle trailed behind them muttering about alien kings and power trips.

Max and Liz began walking more slowly behind the group.

"Are you ok?" he asked quietly.

She looked up and met his eyes. "Max, you don't have to worry about me. I'm fine" she said softly.

He nodded and then stopped and pulled her in for a hug. He rested his cheek against her hair and exhaled as her arms came around him. And for the first time in a long time he truly felt at peace . . .

~.~.~.~

"Way to go Michael!" Maria said as she stormed up to him, slapping him on the arm. "Don't say goodbye to me or anything. Just leave!" she continued to rant as she hit him again for good measure. Michael knew of only one way to stop her when she got like this. So he grabbed her hand that was closing in again and pulled her to him for a heart-stopping, no-holes-barred kiss.

Maria's protests died quickly as she relaxed against him and moved in closer, returning the kiss with fervor. They eventually broke apart, both breathing heavily. When Maria could once again think straight, she hit him again.

"What was that for?" Michael complained, rubbing his now sore arm. For a small person, she sure packed a wallop.

"That was for trying to shut me up" Maria said, trying to maintain her anger.

Michael just grunted as he guided her to her car. She sighed but went willingly. She turned when they arrived and looked up at him for a moment, not saying anything. "Michael, do you . . .?" But then he met her eyes and she sighed. She raised up and kissed him softly instead. "Be safe and come back in one piece, ok?"

Isabel called him from a few feet away before he could respond.

Michael looked down at Maria as if to say 'If I leave now, are you gonna be mad at me?'

Maria just pushed him towards Isabel. "Just go Michael, I'll see you later."

He went and she watched him head towards Isabel, who met him halfway.

"Did you know the plan is for me to stay behind?" Isabel huffed at him.

Michael turned a gaze to Max and Liz who were now making their way slowly towards them. "Someone has to stay with the rest of the group Iz. It makes sense" he said as he sighed, not wanting to deal with another irate female right now.

"Fine, take his side!" Isabel complained, glaring at him. Then she realized what she'd just said and started to chuckle.

"What?" Michael asked.

"I just realized that you and Max actually agree on something."

Michael blinked.

"Huh" he said, marvelling. "I guess it was bound to happen at least once, right?"

"Yeah, law of averages and all that" Isabel said with a smile as she hugged him briefly. Then with a quiet "Be careful Michael" she headed back to Kyle's car.

Kyle was fiddling with the radio but he started the car when she approached.

"Everything ok?" Alex asked as he straightened from his leaning position on the side of Kyle's car. She glanced back over at Michael, Max and Liz and smiled. "It's getting there" she answered and squeezed Alex's hand before she got in.

~.~.~.~

Max and Liz finally ambled their way to Max's jeep. Liz gave Max a kiss on the cheek and a lingering hug and then said to him "Be careful." After he nodded, she turned to Michael. "No going off half-cocked Michael, Tess is dangerous." Michael noted the worried expression on her face and said "I know, don't worry Liz. We'll be ok." He then pulled her into an unexpected hug and told her that they'd be back soon. She hoped that was true and blinked back tears as she watched them both climb into Max's jeep and Max gave her a little wave before they pulled off.

She watched until the jeep disappeared, then she joined Maria at her car, too preoccupied to notice the befuddled expression on Maria's face . . .

~.~.~.~

"So . . . you and Michael . . . You two have gotten pretty chummy" Maria said as she fiddled with the picture of her, Alex and Liz on Liz's dresser, trying to seem casual and unconcerned, and failing miserably.

They had left Alex, Isabel and Kyle downstairs and were now getting ready for their shift.

Liz looked over at her, surprised, seeing that Maria and her were long overdue for a conversation.

"Maria, come . . . sit down . . ." she said, patting a place beside her on the bed.

Maria sat down and met Liz's eyes nervously. Liz saw uncertainty and fear in her friend's eyes, two emotions that she never wanted to be the cause of.

"Maria, what is it you're afraid of? Do you think I could take Michael away from you? 'Cause I could never even do that."

"I know Liz, I'm sorry! It's just, seeing you guys get along so well, and me and him, we're always either making up or fighting . . ."

Liz just waited; she could tell Maria had more to say.

"It's just, sometimes I wonder . . ." she took a deep breath "I just wonder if he even cares about me as much as I care about him." Maria looked away from Liz, embarrassed, but before Liz could respond, Maria burst out "It's just . . . It's always something with Michael, you know? First it was Max and Isabel . . . They were the most important people in his life and I got that, you know? But now you have powers and he's protecting you too. It's just, will everyone else always outrank me? Will I always be the last person he thinks about?"

"Maria! You are not the last person Michael thinks about! He loves you. I saw it first hand! In that other future . . . our group was so splintered . . . everyone was hurting, and Michael, he took care of you. He was there every day, at your house, he practically lived there, offering you comfort, support . . . love . . ."

Maria blinked and was quiet, contemplating her words.

"And the prom Maria!" Maria looked up, surprised. "The only reason Michael is being so difficult is because he doesn't know how to dance! And you were so mad at him because he refused to go." Maria humphed and crossed her arms. Liz smiled at her and continued "But he shows up Maria . . . He gets lessons and he comes." Maria dropped her obstinate pose and practically melts. "Only love would make a guy like Michael get dancing lessons. He may not know how to say it, but he loves you." Quiet tears were rolling down Maria's face by this time. Liz reached over and hugged her. Maria sniffled a little.

As she calmed down, she said "But Liz, out of everyone you could have gone to when you came back" she coughed '_me_' "you went to _Michael_ . . . Why not" cough '_me_' "someone else?" cough '_me_'

Liz laughed. "Ok, ok, before you cough up a lung, I'll explain."

She immediately got serious. "Maria, in that other timeline, Max and Alex . . . died."

Maria inhaled sharply.

They had skirted around saying exactly what had happened in that other time and Maria had overlooked this fact, but suddenly hearing it made her heart stop for a second, and then start beating overtime.

Liz, unable to sit still, got up and started pacing. "They were gone and I tried . . . I really tried to hold it together, to be ok . . . But I couldn't . . . It eventually got to be too much . . ." She nervously stepped back over to the bed and sat down. "I . . ." she met Maria's eyes "I'm sorry Maria." She looked away. "But it was just so hard . . . and one night . . . I decided to end it . . ." she ignored the gasp she heard from Maria and plundered on. "I couldn't do it anymore . . . I stepped off the ledge . . ." Liz's eyes clouded over, remembering that day. "I was almost gone . . ." she looked at Maria and Maria inhaled sharply, stunned, at the naked grief and _pain_ in Liz's eyes. "But Michael pulled me back. He saved my life that day . . . a life that, at the time, I didn't want . . . And in doing so, he set into motion the sequence of events that brought me back here . . . to undo the past . . ."

Maria was completely silent, so Liz continued.

"And I know that this isn't the same Michael that saved my life, but when I came back . . . when I had to figure out who to go to for help, my feet led me to his apartment before I even thought about it . . ."

She blinked the past away and focused on the present.

"Maria?" she questioned softly, needing for her friend to say _something_.

"I . . . I don't know what to say Liz" she said softly. "You tell me you almost committed _suicide_ . . . almost ended your life . . . My best friend tried to kill herself!" Maria was starting to get worked up now. "How do you expect me to feel? What do you expect me to say? 'Oh, ok, you almost killed yourself, no big deal'?"

Liz reached over to comfort her. "Maria, calm down-"

She shook off Liz's hand. "No I will _not_ calm down! _You_ calm down! I have a right to be upset!"

"Yes you do, but Maria" she grabbed Maria's hands that were still flailing about. "Maria, I'm really sorry. But I was in so much pain there. Just try to imagine what that felt like for me . . ." She looked down at her lap and spoke tonelessly "Max was dead. Alex was dead. And part of me died with them. And every day the pain just got worse . . . I felt lost . . . broken . . . _shattered_ . . ."

"Oh Lizzie" Maria said and gathered her into a hug.

"I know it wasn't a great solution to my problems, but it just hurt so much" she said, hugging Maria back. Then she attempted to pull back, but Maria said "Nope, hug not over yet" a little tearfully.

Ignoring the tears that threatened to fall from her own eyes, Liz said "It's ok. Everyone's ok now." She rubbed Maria's back soothingly.

She wasn't sure who she was trying to convince though . . . Maria . . . or herself.

~.~.~.~

"So where are we headed Maxwell?" Michael asked after they'd been driving for a while.

"I'm not sure. I can just sense Tess in this direction" Max answered, trying to sort through his thoughts.

They drove in silence for a while until Max began talking.

"I'm worried about her Michael . . . She's so strong . . . but she's not letting me in. I'm afraid all of this might be too much for her . . ." Max said softly.

Michael could tell by the inflection in Max's tone that he was talking about Liz. His voice just _softened_ when he spoke of her now.

Max looked over at him briefly and continued. "She's colorblind Michael . . . I connected to her and saw the world through her eyes and there is just this depressing expanse of gray everywhere . . ."

_~*If I could make it rain today*~_

"So why didn't you fix it?" Michael asked gruffly.

_~*And wash away this sunny day down to the gutter*~_

"Because there's nothing physically wrong to fix . . ."

_~*I would*~_

"Last night when I went back to Alex's room, I got on the internet and I found . . . There are these cases where extreme trauma can manifest itself in a physical way, such as colorblindness . . . As near as I can tell, Liz's mind couldn't handle seeing me shot like Alex had been shot . . . seeing all of that blood . . . so it detached itself . . . turning her world gray . . . Psychosomatic, I think it was called . . . _Extreme trauma_ Michael . . . I don't think she can handle too much more of this. Of _our world_ . . ."

_~*Just to get a change of pace*~_

"We'll get her through this Maxwell . . . She's not alone" Michael responded in the same gruff tone.

_~*Things are getting worse but I feel a lot better*~_

"Why are you a Liz-advocate all of a sudden Michael?" Max was grateful for the help, but curious as to why.

"Because someone had to do it." He looked at Max pointedly. "You were being a world class jerk to her. And she needed help . . ."

_~*And that's all that really matters to me*~_

"She had been through so much in that other timeline. . . She saw Alex die . . . right in front of her. She had _his blood_ on her hands . . . And then you died . . . She watched us put you in the ground . . . I got this flash from her and I felt . . ." Michael paused, almost unable to describe it. "It-It was like being ripped apart inside . . ."

_~*Amy hit the atmosphere*~_

"No one should have to go through pain like that. And I can't even begin to imagine how I would have felt in her shoes. If the roles were reversed and it had been you and Maria?" Michael inhaled a shaky breath. "I don't know if I could have done it. Liz went through all of that . . . In the end we all _died_ there . . . She went through all of that and made it back here . . ."

_~*Caught herself a rocket ride out of this gutter*~_

"And she came to me . . . _Me_ Maxwell . . . We both know that I haven't been the nicest person to her in the past . . . But somehow, out of everyone in our group, she picked me to confide in . . . To ask for help . . ."

_~*She's never coming back, I fear*~_

"She's been to hell and back, literally, because of us . . . And that weighs on me too . . ." Michael stared straight ahead as he continued. "I don't know what any of this means. I don't know the master plan. I don't know why Liz had to live through all of that when all the rest of us died . . ."

_~*But any time it rains*~_

"Two months ago, hell, two weeks ago, if you had told me that Liz Parker would give up her life for us, would rip out her heart while it was still beating to save us, I would have told you you were crazy. But now that I've seen it, practically _lived_ it, how could I not help her? Help her save our lives?"

_~*She just feels a lot better*~_

"For some reason, Liz is inextricably mixed up in our pasts, in our futures . . . She's special Maxwell. I get that now. So I will protect her like I tried to protect you and Izzy all these years . . . Even if the person I protect her from sometimes is you. She just doesn't deserve any more pain" he finished quietly.

_~*And that's all that really matters to me*~_

"Wow" was all Max could say. This was more sentences than Michael had strung together in a row in his whole life probably.

He really did care about Liz.

Michael gruffly cleared his throat and continued, trying to lighten the moment, definitely uncomfortable with all this '_sharing_.' "We'll work it out Maxwell. I'll help you capture Tess and we'll save the day and you won't even get your cape dirty. I just hope when all this is over, Hurricane Deluca doesn't skin me alive for spending more time with Liz than her. What do you think?"

Max cocked a smile at him. "I think that if Maria has been catching any of the protective vibes you've been sending Liz's way, she might need a little reassuring right about now."

Michael soaked up Max's words, realizing that this was the first conversation they'd had in awhile that hadn't been hostile. It reminded him that he'd almost lost a brother yesterday.

"Maxwell, I'm glad you're ok" Michael said and then cleared his throat.

Max looked at him questioningly and he clarified. "You know, with Tess almost killing you and all . . ."

"Oh, you noticed that, did you?" Max asked dryly, since Michael had barely acknowledged it at the meeting last night. He grinned at Michael's uncomfortable look. "Aww Michael, I didn't know you cared . . ."

"Bite me Maxwell" Michael said, scowling as he turned on the radio and tuned it to a heavy metal station. The sounds of Metallica drowned out Max's laughter beside him.

~.~.~.~

They had been driving for awhile, with just the sounds of the radio drifting between them.

Michael had been watching the scenery, contemplating how to talk to Maria, so he didn't notice immediately that they were slowing down.

His eyes shot to Max's as they veered off the road suddenly. Desert rocks and sand scattered in the wake of Max's jeep.

Max halted the vehicle and slammed his fist into the steering wheel, swearing.

"Ok Maxwell, what did I miss?" Michael asked warily.

"I lost her trail . . . She's out here somewhere, but I just don't know where" Max said, his anger quickly spent, replaced with resignation.

"It's ok, we'll just try again later . . . We're just getting started . . ."

"I know. It's just . . . I wanted to do this for Liz, you know? Catch Tess so that it would be over for her . . . For all of us . . ."

"Rome wasn't built in a day Maxwell . . . We'll catch her" Michael said reassuringly. But he too wondered if it would be soon enough to help Liz . . . to help all of them.

All he could do is hope that it was . . .

~.~.~.~

They wandered into the Crashdown a short while later. Max looked world-weary and tired and Michael's expression was carefully blank. Isabel looked up when the bell over the door rung, just as she had been doing for the past few hours and jumped up when she saw it was them.

"Finally!" she said as she rushed over to them. "What happened?" she asked, looking from one face to the other.

"You tell her" Max said tiredly to Michael as he brushed past Isabel and walked to the empty counter, immediately honing in on Liz. Isabel, after watching Max's retreating form for a second in confusion, focused on Michael. "Well?"

"Let's sit down" Michael said, glancing around at the mostly empty café. He walked over to the table where Kyle and Alex were waiting expectantly. He slid in next to Kyle and Isabel resumed her seat next to Alex. She reached out blindly for Alex's hand as she braced herself for news from Michael.

~.~.~.~

"Hey" Max said to Liz softly as he took a seat at the counter.

"Hey yourself" Liz answered back, giving him a small smile. She took note of the defeated slump of his shoulders and his grim expression in silence. She continued wiping the counter, waiting for him to speak.

"I lost the trail" Max said, unable to meet her eyes. Then he looked up quickly and grabbed her hand that was still moving across the counter with a dishtowel. "I'm sorry Liz" he said earnestly.

Liz let go of the towel and enclosed his hand with hers.

"Max, it's ok. You don't need to apologize to me. At least we have a way of tracking her. That's more than we had before."

Max nodded. He was once again amazed that after all Liz had been through, she could still see the positive side of things. There was still so much that they needed to talk about. Not the least of which was everything he'd seen in the flashes from that other timeline. But he knew now was not the time for such a discussion. But as he ran his hand through his hair wearily, the motion brought back a memory . . .

"Liz, can I ask you a question about uh, Future Me?" Max asked.

Liz looked over at him, sensing a change in his tone. "Of course Max, anything."

"He was from 14 years in the future right? So he was me at 31?"

"Yeah?" she answered, unsure of where he was going with this.

Max scratched behind his ear as he asked "So uh, did I really have gray hair?"

~.~.~.~

"So what's Maria doing in the back?" Michael asked as he glanced around the café.

"She muttered something about needing her oils to get through the rest of this day" Kyle answered.

"Yeah, she's probably going for the cypress oil as we speak . . . Although cedar oil does work just as well" Alex said, suddenly thoughtful.

Everyone at the table turned to look at him

"What? As an honorary girlfriend you learn these things" he said in explanation.

"Yeah, I wouldn't go spreading that 'honorary girlfriend' stuff around" Michael said as he exited the table.

He heard Kyle say "Yeah, what's up with that?" as he walked away.

~.~.~.~

Maria was standing at her locker, eyes closed, inhaling her cypress oil and trying not to feel overwhelmed.

It was just so nerve-wracking, waiting for something to happen. And she felt so useless, so powerless . . . literally and figuratively . . . She was no help at all to them against Tess's powers. At least Liz had fixed it so that Tess couldn't mindwarp her again. That, at least, was a comfort. She didn't want that she-bitch in her head ever again. But all things being equal, she wished they were on an even playing field . . . She would be more than willing to lay a little Alien Smackdown on Tess's evil ass.

"Maria" Michael said softly, startling her out of her reverie as he entered the room.

She noted his somber expression and held out her oil. "Want some?"

Michael smiled a little. "Maybe later." As Maria capped the bottle, he grabbed her hand and pulled her to the sofa, where they both sat down.

"You didn't catch her, did you?" Maria asked quietly.

Michael just shook his head.

"It'll be ok Spaceboy. We'll get through this . . ."

Michael interrupted her. "Maria, that's not why I came in here. I just, I wanted to talk to you . . ." He took a deep breath and then continued. "I know there's a lot of stuff going on . . . It seems like there's _always_ a lot of stuff going on . . . But I don't want you to ever think that you're not important to me, because you are Maria . . .You-you're my _home_ . . ."

"Michael . . ." she said softly. She pulled him close and planted a tender kiss on his lips. As his arms gathered her closer, she settled her head against his chest and just listened to the solid thump of his heart beating beneath her ear. After a moment, she said "Thank you" quietly.

He looked down at her surprised. "For what?"

"For what you just said . . . For taking care of Liz when I didn't even know she needed help . . . For just being you I guess . . ."

He smiled as his arms tightened around her.

"I mean, most of the time you frustrate me beyond belief, and the stone wall thing gets seriously tiring, and the whole grunting instead of answering thing makes me wanna hit you in your big Czechoslovakian head sometimes, but-"

Michael's smile had been gradually slipping as Maria continued her tirade and he finally interrupted. "Maria!"

"Yeah?" she answered. She had been just getting on a roll.

"How about we quit while I'm behind?"

Maria just smiled and snuggled into him again.

~.~.~.~

And for just one moment, for seven teenagers, everything was ok . . .

~.~.~.~

_Lyrics from "Amy hit the Atmosphere" by Counting Crows_

As always, I love feedback (and cake!), so please give me both . . . lol . . . _  
_


	18. Just a little heartache

**Chapter 18: Just a little heartache**

Liz made her way up the stairs slowly . . . wanting to turn around . . . wanting to stop walking . . . but as was often true in her dreams, she was unable to . . .

So she kept going, fear echoing in every step . . .

She was at the top of the stairs, starting down the hallway, when she heard the gun go off.

The shot seemed to shake the house's very foundation . . . It sounded like thunder to her ears, loud and out of place, especially in the silence that followed it . . . She froze in terror for an instant . . . and then, as realization hit, she broke into a sprint, rushing down the hall and into Alex's room . . .

She ran straight into the bowels of hell . . .

There was blood everywhere . . . so much blood . . . On the walls . . . On the ceiling . . . _'On me'_ she thought as she got a look at herself in the mirror across the room. Her terrified eyes looked large in her pale face. She recoiled seeing the blood on her clothing, staining her hands. She felt bile rise in her throat once again feeling the stickiness between her fingers.

She took a step back, her body doing what her mind was attempting to do . . . _Flee_ . . . But she backed into a door that was previously open, but was now closed and locked . . . _'Trapped'_ she thought as she closed her eyes, hoping to escape this horror that way . . . hoping to wake up . . .

_~*You cannot quit me so quickly*~_

Her eyes flew open and her breath caught in her throat. Her whole body tensed . . .

_~*It's no hoping you'll fool me*~_

Although seconds ago she had wanted away from that place, where she was now was worse . . .

_~*No corner you could squeeze me_*~

She was in a graveyard . . . She was . . . surrounded by graves . . . Her gaze skittered away from everything it settled on . . . Trying not to see . . .

_~*But I got all the time for you, love*~_

She shook her head, trying to dislodge what she had seen written carefully on a tombstone, just the way it had been before . . .

_~*The Space between*~_

**Alexander Whitman  
Loving Son and Loyal Friend  
1985-2002**

_~*The tears we cry*~_  
_~*Is the laughter keeps us coming back for more*~_

"No" she said softly, tears gliding down her face as she took a step back, bumping into the grave behind her . . . She turned . . .

**Michael Guerin  
Devoted and Loyal Friend  
1985-2002**

_~*The Space between*~_

A mewling sound rose from her throat as her hand flew to her mouth. Her knees buckled and she grabbed the nearest headstone to stop her descent to the ground. As her head slowly rose, her eyes fell on the words . . .

**Isabel Evans  
Beloved Daughter and Friend  
1985-2002**

_~*The wicked lies we tell*~_

She looked wildly around. _It wasn't true . . . It couldn't be true . . ._

**Kyle Valenti  
Devoted Friend and Son  
1985-2002**

_~*And hope to keep us safe from the pain*~_

The cry that was building up in the back of her throat was begging to be set free . . . A tear slipped down her cheek, quickly followed by another . . . She was shaking with the effort of trying to hold the grief at bay . . . And everywhere she looked were the graves of people she loved . . .

**Maria Deluca  
Loving Friend and Daughter  
1985-2002**

A sob of pure anguish finally ripped from her throat before she got it back under control. She felt like she was underwater, just fighting to breathe. _'They're all here . . .'_ Everyone she was supposed to save . . . And then she saw his grave . . .

_~*But will I hold you again?*~_

**Maxwell Evans  
Beloved Son and Friend  
1985-2002**

_~*These fickle, fuddled words confuse me*~_

She collapsed in the grass, her legs no longer willing to support her . . . She wanted to scream. She wanted to yell and rant at the heavens, but it was too late . . . _too late_ . . .

_~*Like 'Will it rain today?'*~_

She heard soft footsteps approaching and looked up to see a more composed version of herself step forward carrying flowers. She gently laid them in the middle of the graves and then looked straight at her. The dead look in her other self's eyes would stay in her mind long after the nightmare faded . . .

_~*Waste the hours with talking, talking*~_

_"Do you get it now?"_ her solemn doppelganger asked her. _"You did this"_ she gestured around her to all of the graves. _"They died because of you . . ."_

_~*This twisted game we're playing*~_

Liz trembled, still finding it hard to breathe, everything hurt, _was this hell?_

Her doppelganger continued. _"They were supposed to have 14 years . . . Now what do they have? What do _we_ have?"_

_~*We're strange allies*~_

Her other self wandered over to a blank gravestone and asked almost conversationally _"When we're gone, what do you think ours will say?"_

She waved her hand over the stone and words appeared.

**Elizabeth Parker  
She destroyed the world**

_~*With warring hearts*~_

"No" she moaned, trembling so violently her teeth knocked together.

_~*What wild-eyed beast you'll be*~_

Her other self either didn't hear her or chose to ignore her as she continued. _"You know how this plays out . . . You can't change it, you already tried . . ."_

**A quick image of Isabel in the passenger seat of Kyle's car. Dead**.

_"...In the end, this is where you'll be..."_

**Another image of Kyle collapsing outside the pod chamber. Also dead.**

_"...Do you really want to watch everyone die again?"_

**Max inside the pod chamber, eyes sightless and unseeing.**

"Stop it, Stop it, Stop it!" she yelled, hands over her ears as she closed her eyes trying to escape the images.

_~*The Space between*~_  
_~*The wicked lies we tell*~_  
_~*And hope to keep us safe from the pain*~_

_"Open your eyes"_ she heard her other self say and, with great trepidation, she did . . .

_~*Will I hold you again?*~_

_"This is where it will end . . . This is where it _should_ have ended . . ."_

_~*Will I hold...*~_

Liz's heart beat so loud she could hear it echoing in her own ears. They were back on that ledge. That terrible, horrible, _welcoming_ ledge . . .

_~*Look at us spinning out in the madness of a roller coaster*~_

_"When they're gone, you know what you'll do . . ."_ She turned forward and a peaceful expression came over her face as she spread her arms wide and stepped off the ledge . . .

_~*You know you went off like a devil*~_  
_~*In a church in the middle of a crowded room*~_

"No!" Liz cried as she shot up from her crouched position and tried to reach her other self before she completely left the ledge . . .

_~*All we can do, my love*~_

She was too late, only grasping air . . .

_~*Is hope we don't take this ship down*~_

She stumbled back against the wall and sank to the ground, eyes wide in shock.

_~*The space between*~_  
_~*Where you smile and hide*~_  
_~*That's where you'll find me if I get to go*~_

Tears that had threatened to fall now did as she shook her head in denial. "They're not dead. I'm not dead. They're not dead. I'm not dead. They're not dead" she chanted over and over as she hugged herself and rocked . . .

_~*The Space between*~_  
_~*The bullets in our firefight*~_  
_~*Is where I'll be hiding, waiting for you*~_

~.~.~.~

"Liz!" Maria shook her, trying to get her to wake up.

It had been a month since Max had started searching for Tess . . . A month since the whole group had been let in on what was going on . . . and still nothing. And every time Liz went to sleep, she had these nightmares . . .

"Maria?" Liz awoke, confused. Her unfocused eyes slowly cleared as she realized she was in Maria's room. She managed to take in that Michael was standing in the doorway looking worried . . .

Then she folded over into herself and cried. Maria looked at Michael helplessly as she wrapped her arms around Liz and tried to comfort her . . .

Michael met her eyes but stayed put, even though his instincts were yelling at him to help somehow. But they both knew the outcome of that action from the countless times he'd tried it before . . . Liz would just resist him and draw even deeper into herself. At times like these she wouldn't let anyone of otherworldly origin near her. They had finally figured out that it was her fear of them getting flashes from her when she was in such an emotional state.

Liz's sobs continued to echo around the room and Michael felt powerless. _If he couldn't help, what was he supposed to do?_ He shifted positions and took a few steps closer, hoping to offer comfort merely by his presence. He exhaled when Liz didn't seem to notice and settled by the dresser.

Every time he thought he couldn't worry more, Liz had another nightmare and proved him wrong. Things just seemed to be getting worse.

Michael's mind retreated back to the last time he'd seen Liz smile, seen anyone in the group remotely cheerful . . .

It had been the night of the prom . . .

~.~.~.~

Liz, Maria and Isabel were getting ready for the prom in Liz's room. She still couldn't believe they were going. With all that had been happening, the prom shouldn't have even been a possibility, but she remembered Max's expression when he'd said he'd heard a phrase somewhere that made him realize they should go. It was _"In this short brutal life, you've got to seize any opportunity you can to celebrate."_

Liz had nodded looking at him, Maria had squealed, Isabel had smiled and shot a shy glance at Alex, Kyle had pulled out his little black book and Michael had grumbled.

So here they were in front of her dresser mirror, all trying to squeeze in and put the last minute touches on their makeup. Liz was wearing a black sleeveless dress that dipped dangerously low in the back that was knee-length and clung in all the right places. Isabel was wearing a strapless dress that stopped at her calves and showed off her curves to perfection. And Maria's dress was ankle-length with a slit on the left that went up to mid-thigh. Liz knew that it would drive Michael crazy when he saw her in that.

"Girls" Maria said, catching their eye in the mirror. "How good do we look?" she asked with a smile. They smiled back at her and then Maria and Liz put their backs to each other and struck Charlie's Angel's poses. Maria prodded Isabel who was quick to step into a pose behind them, pretend gun pointing in the air.

_*Click*_

They all turned away from the mirror in time to see Liz's mom lowering her camera.

"Mo-om!" Liz wailed, embarrassed, knowing the picture would be making the rounds for years to come.

"Oh hush-up" Nancy said, as she let the camera dangle around her neck. She grabbed the full-length mirror she had leaned against the outside of Liz's room and brought it in. "Let a mother document her daughter's journey into womanhood. After all, I have so little pleasure in my life now" she said dryly.

Liz grumbled quietly to herself as Maria rushed over and took the mirror from Nancy's hands. "Thanks Mrs. P!" she said happily as she set it against a wall and said "Strike a pose" and then did so.

Isabel and Liz just laughed and went back to fixing their makeup. This night was gonna be great . . . if they could just get Maria away from admiring her own reflection . . .

~.~.~.~

The prom was going in full force and everyone was having a great time.

"1, 2, 3, 4 - 1, 2, 3, 4" Michael muttered under his breath as he danced with Maria. There was an intense look of concentration on his face and his brow wrinkled as he watched their feet move in beat.

"Michael" Maria said.

No response.

"Michael!" she said louder and he finally looked up from his intense concentration on their feet.

"Yeah?" he said as he lost count and stepped on one of her feet.

"Ow!" she cried as she hopped on one foot. "Sorry" Michael muttered, frustrated and a little embarrassed. He hadn't had much time to get lessons and hardly no privacy, so he'd settled for a couple of quick lessons at a dance school on his lunch breaks.

It obviously wasn't enough.

Maria brought her now sore foot down and smiled at Michael as she pulled him toward her. She kissed him and put all the emotion she could muster into it, trying to transmit to him how much she loved him for doing this. When she broke away, she put her arms around him and he enclosed his around her and she started a gentle swaying motion.

"Now that's what I'm talking about" Maria said softly as she rested her head against his chest and sighed.

Her feet would thank her later . . .

~.~.~.~

Isabel giggled as she and Alex bumped sides in unison. Then Alex yelled "Free style!" and started doing every zany dance he could think of. Isabel giggled some more as she tried to duplicate some of his more tame moves and then she grabbed his hand. "You do realize this is a slow song right?" she asked, smiling.

"Oh yes, of course" Alex said, composing his face into one of serious intent. "The lady wishes for some dirty dancing then?" he asked as he gyrated his hips.

Isabel felt another giggle bubbling up. "How about we dance the old fashion way for a while?"

"As you wish" Alex said solemnly as he pulled Isabel close, a large smile overtaking his features as soon as Isabel's arms closed around him.

~.~.~.~

Max and Liz glided across the floor, in total sync with each other, effortlessly swaying together. "Are you ready for the dip? It's coming soon" Max warned her again, spinning her around. They had been sure to keep the mood between them light. It was like an unspoken agreement that tonight they would just enjoy themselves.

She met Max's smiling eyes. "I don't know Max, dipping is so . . . serious . . . Maybe we should talk about it for another 40 minutes" she said dryly, but she couldn't hold back her smile for long . . .

She felt . . . almost carefree. Just then there was a commotion behind them and they both turned to find Tim Roberts, the class clown, and his date sprawled out on the floor, her looking embarrassed and him shaking with laughter.

"See? That's what happens when teenagers dip before they're ready" Liz said in a very stern voice, then they both burst out laughing.

~.~.~.~

Kyle stood just inside the gym doors . . . waiting again. He had asked Vicki Delaney to the prom and even though it was last minute, she'd agreed. Like the rest of the group he'd decided that he didn't want to think for a night. He just wanted to go to prom and have a good time. And Vicki was always good for that. But as it turned out, having a good time involved spending a lot of time waiting . . .

He'd waited by the punch bowl, waited by the DJ, and now he was waiting by the doors. Vicki had caught a stomach bug the day before, but was still determined to come, even if she did have to keep taking frequent trips to the bathroom.

He looked over as the doors opened and she walked in looking extremely green around the gills. Kyle immediately went over to her. "God Vicki, you look terrible! I'm gonna get Alex and Isabel and we'll take you home, ok?"

He started scanning the gym for them, but she grabbed his hand "No Kyle, it's ok. I called my mom while I was in the bathroom. She's on her way. Stay with your friends."

Kyle opened his mouth to protest, but Vicki continued. "Besides, Amanda Kelly has been crushing on you all year and her date's totally flaking on her." He looked at her questioningly. "You hear things when you spend most of the night in the bathroom" she explained. She saw her mother come into the gym from the exit doors. "Just have a good time Kyle" she said as she squeezed his hand affectionately and then made her way over to her mother.

Kyle shook his head bemusedly and then scratched the back of his neck. "Should it bother me that I just got dumped at the prom?" he muttered to himself.

"Hi Kyle" a voice said and he looked up to see Amanda Kelly standing in front of him in a red dress that hugged her in all the right places. A large smile split his face as his concern faded to the background.

"Hey Amanda! You wanna dance?"

~.~.~.~

While Kyle was on the dance floor having a great time with Amanda, the other three couples were standing near the wall of the gym, laughing and joking when a new song came on the speakers.

_"You see an image that's sweet_  
_Well be prepared 'cause I'm not that way"_

Liz and Maria looked at each other and squealed, then they both turned and looked at Isabel and they each grabbed a hand and pulled her onto the dance floor.

_"Work every day of the week_  
_When Friday comes it's my time to play"_

Isabel laughed and allowed herself to be pulled. They began dancing and talking animatedly as their dates looked on indulgently.

_"You might be tempted_  
_By everything you're feeling now"_

"Well, I think that's my cue to hit the little boy's room" Alex said as he ambled away. Both Max and Michael nodded as they continued to watch the girls having a great time.

_"I feel obliged to warn you_  
_You're on dangerous ground"_

"Good move Maxwell" Michael said as he took a sip of his punch.

_"I'm big trouble_  
_Lots of fun"_

Max looked at him curiously.

"This" Michael gestured towards the girls. "The prom. I think this is just what everyone needed. A night away from what Maria termed 'The Alien Abyss.' "

_"Make that a double, yeah_  
_Not a single one"_

Max nodded, agreeing wholeheartedly, loving the happiness showing on everyone's faces, especially Liz's. He hadn't seen a full smile on her in ages.

_"Don't take me home_  
_To your momma yet"_

Just as he started to believe it was gonna be a great night, the air in the gym suddenly became charged. He and Michael's eyes met and they immediately looked over at Maria, Liz and Isabel, assuring themselves that they were ok. Feeling the change in the room, the three of them rushed over with Kyle in tow, having quickly made an excuse to Amanda. But before they could ask any questions Max stiffened and muttered

"Tess"

_"When it's over and I set you free"_

"Where?" Michael said, hands fisting at his sides.

"Where's Alex?" Isabel asked worriedly.

_"I promise you'll remember me"_

Max and Michael's gazes met again as they both answered "Bathroom" at the same time. They all turned towards the doors to the gym . . .

_"As big trouble . . ."_

And all hell broke loose . . .

Screams rose over the sounds of the music blaring and the music cut out as confusion took over. People began pushing and shoving trying to get to the exits. One girl ran past screaming hysterically "Get it off, Get it off!" while swatting and smacking at herself. Another guy dropped and was rolling around as he wailed like the devil himself was on his back.

"Max we have to go!" Isabel said urgently as she tried to make a path in all the people rushing past them to the exits. One scream rose above all the others and Maria yelled "Alex!"

Max unfroze and took over the lead, making a path for them as best he could through all the rushing, screaming, panicking people heading in the opposite direction.

Finally they made it through the throngs of people to the gym doors and yanked them open . . . And there on the floor, propped up by a locker was Alex with a silver handprint burned into his chest . . .

_~*To remember*~_  
_~*Or to forget it*~_

A strangled cry could be heard as the group caught sight of him. They breathed a collective sigh of relief when his head moved, telling them it wasn't too late.

_~*How could you ever*~_  
_~*Laugh out loud while you cry*~_

Isabel and Maria were the first to unfreeze themselves and hurriedly make their way over to him. He looked up when he heard Isabel's choked _"Alex."_

_~*It'll own you*~_  
_~*You can't let it*~_

"Hey guys" he said quietly as his head dropped back down to his chest, too weak to support it.

_~*And while it holds you*~_  
_~*You can't even try*~_

"Oh Alex" Maria said, crouching down and enfolding his hand between hers.

_~*You're so unsatisfied*~_

"I'm ok" he said weakly.

_~*You're so damn petrified*~_

"Or at least I will be after Max does his hocus pocus thing" he said, breathing shallowly, trying not to let on how much pain he was in.

_~*You ain't got nothin' *~_

"Although I don't think I'll be getting my deposit back" he joked weakly, gesturing to his tux, which now had a handprint singed through it.

_~*You ain't got nothin' to prove*~_

Isabel gave him a half smile, but just as Max began to kneel down, Liz rested her hand on his arm to stop him.

"Let me" she said, the pain in her eyes barely veiled.

_~*Just a little heartache*~_

Max looked into her eyes and inhaled sharply.

_~*Just a little hole*~_

"Please" she said quietly. Max just nodded and stepped aside.

Liz knelt down in front of Alex.

_~*Just an itchy finger*~_

"Is it ok if I do this?" she asked, indicating his chest. Alex nodded silently, noticing the grief in Liz's eyes also.

_~*Nobody know*~_

She placed her hand on his chest and concentrated as the group gathered around, essentially blocking them from view. A few seconds later a bright light emanated from the group as Liz began the healing process.

*Flash*

_"You can make it stop."_

_**. . . Pain . . .**_

_"I just need to know where it is."_

_**. . . Burning . . . **_

_"It doesn't have to be this way."_

_**. . . Agony . . . **_

_"I'm sorry"_

_**. . . Death . . .**_

*End Flash*

Liz's breath caught as she withdrew her hand, noting that the damage had been repaired. "I'm sorry Alex" she said to him with a catch in her throat. She stumbled to her feet as Alex rose beside her with a little help from Isabel. Shaking off the group's questions, he regarded Liz with concern.

_~*Just a little heartache*~_

The images, the pain, it was just too much . . .

_~*Somethin' for the soul*~_

She stepped away from the group as they looked on in confusion. Michael stepped forward, but Maria put a restraining hand on his arm, tilting her head slightly in Max's direction. Michael frowned, but stayed put.

"Liz?"

_~*Finger's on the trigger*~_

She turned towards the voice and looked into Max's eyes. He looked back into hers and saw grief and despair so deep it took his breath away. "Liz" he breathed, pulling her to him and gathering her in an embrace. "We'll catch her, I promise. It's gonna be ok" he whispered, enfolding her in his arms.

_~*Nobody know what she know*~_

Liz numbly looked past his shoulder and nodded. She knew it wasn't true, even though she'd never tell them.

_~*Nobody know what she know*~_

She knew because she'd just had another vision . . .

~.~.~.~

_Music in this chapter from Dave Matthews Band "The Space Between," Rebekah Ryan "Big Trouble" and Beth Hart "Just a Little Hole"_


	19. All the kings horses

**Chapter 19: All the king's horses**

Glass shattering across the café, shards flying in different directions, pulled Liz back to the present, drawing her gaze to the commotion in her section. Her lips formed into a small O as her eyes met the apologetic ones of a woman whose child had just knocked a milkshake glass off the table.

She headed over, accepting the mother's apologies and assuring her that it was ok, all the while trying to concentrate on the matter at hand, trying to draw her focus away from her thoughts . . . away from the words and images indelibly imprinted on her mind . . . Still, words from Future Max's letter continued to wash over her . . .

_"I'm assuming you have already started having the visions . . ."_

***Flash***

_**. . . Pain . . .**_

Her knees attempted to buckle but she caught herself in time, grabbing the edge of the nearby table with shaky fingers . . . She inhaled deeply and let go, continuing on . . . Then, setting the bin she'd been holding on the table, she bent to clean up the shattered mess . . .

She methodically picked up pieces of glass, even as her mind persisted in going over it, trying to find a loophole . . .

"This was true in my timeline also."

***Flash***

_**. . . Agony . . . **_

She shuddered and took a deep breath.

"Here you go Liz" Maria said, bringing over an empty bin to put the glass shards in. Liz looked up at her blankly and then murmured a thank you as she took the bin and went back to her task. Maria stood with brow furrowed for a moment, looking at Liz's hunched shoulders, then she bent down and began to help, offering support in silence.

Liz continued to pick up pieces, pausing as she picked up a large piece, noting that it was the bottom of the glass, it's foundation . . . now destroyed . . . She shook her head, dropping the piece into the bin and moving on . . .

There had to be some other meaning in Future Max's words . . .

_"I must tell you that these visions signal the beginning of the end."_

Something else . . . instead of what they implied . . .

_"In my timeline, they signaled the end of the world . . ."_

_**. . . Death . . . **_

She had been reaching for another large piece when the final flash struck. She gasped, the pain of the flash and then the glass shard slicing a neat path across her palm pulling her back to reality sharply. For a second she gazed at the blood falling from her hand in confusion . . .

"Liz!" Maria exclaimed. "You're bleeding! I'll finish this, just go take care of your hand" she said, gently urging Liz into a standing position.

Liz nodded numbly at her. "Thanks Maria" she said belatedly as she headed slowly towards the breakroom doors, passing by a concerned Michael at the order window.

Going through the doors and cradling her hand, she stepped into the bathroom. Not bothering to close the door, she turned on the water and flinched as she immersed her hand under the spray. The gray liquid ran from her hand and as she watched, it turned into red-tinted water spiraling down the drain . . .

"Liz?" Michael spoke up from the doorway. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine" she answered, shutting off the water, noticing it was once again gray . . .

_Seeing a world bathed in gray was fine . . . Just sometimes she wished her memories weren't in color._

~.~.~.~

"Where'd Isabel go?" Maria asked as she walked over to the booth Alex and Kyle were occupying.

"Bathroom" Alex answered as Kyle continued flipping a coin in the air and catching it.

"The usual?" she asked, to which they both nodded. She wrote their orders down in her order book and came back a few moments later with their drinks.

Alex took his straw and inserted it into his drink. "You know, ever since the prom my parents have been super paranoid about any drinks I ingest outside of the house."

"Oh, I know!" Maria broke in, from the table over, where she was gathering dirty dishes. "My mom thinks there's some insane student running around putting psychedelics in drinks and that that's why everyone hallucinated at the prom. She keeps telling me if it hasn't been in my eyesight the whole time that I shouldn't drink it."

"I guess I'm lucky since my dad knows it was Tess's mindwarp, I haven't had to worry about it" Kyle said, taking a sip of his drink.

The three of them were quiet, thinking about the night of the prom and what had transpired. After a second, Maria went back to clearing her table as Alex absentmindedly rubbed the area of his chest where the silver handprint had been, a haunted expression on his face. Kyle consciously kept his thoughts from drifting to Tess as he focused on tracing the rim of his glass, condensation moistening his fingertip . . .

A sharp inhalation brought all of their attention back to the present where Liz was trying to lift a bin from a table in her section, having trouble because of her injured hand.

"Let me get that" Maria said as she bumped Liz lightly out of the way and picked up the bin. Alex couldn't believe he'd missed the bandage. But then Liz moved her hand into her apron pocket where it had been previously and he realized how he'd 'missed' it.

"Liz, what happened to your hand?" he asked, concerned eyes meeting her shadowed ones as hers dropped to the hand she pulled from her pocket, a slim white bandage covering her palm.

Isabel slid in next to Alex silently, noting as always the dark smudges under Liz's eyes and how she grimaced a little looking at the bandage.

"It's nothing" she answered, absently tracing the seams of the tape around the bandage. "Some glass broke earlier, no big deal" she said as she stuffed her hand back in her pocket. "I'm going on break, I'll be in the back if you need me" she said, turning to Maria briefly before disappearing into the breakroom.

Maria wasn't surprised. Liz tended to shy away from concern like it was the plague now.

Alex and Maria exchanged a look after Liz passed through the breakroom doors. Kyle just focused on his drink, reminded once again that no one was acting like themselves anymore.

At least it had stopped Isabel and Alex from making googly eyes at each other. He had secretly dubbed them 'The new Max and Liz' with all the time they spent looking at each other. And yet, because of the danger presented by ever-evil Tess Harding, he was forced to be the constant third-wheel in this scenario. For all the time they spent together, the three of them might as well have been attached at the hip.

He continued tracing the rim of his glass, realizing that the old Max and Liz hadn't been themselves for awhile now . . . In fact the last time he'd even seen them in the same room had been prom . . .

"Here you go" Maria said as she came over with Isabel's drink. "Scoot over Kyle" she said as she slipped into the booth on his side. "Any word from Max today?" she asked Isabel hopefully.

Isabel sighed and shook her head. "I haven't heard from him since Friday . . ."

"Well we could seriously use him around here" Maria said, nodding towards the breakroom where Liz had disappeared.

"I noticed that . . . What can we do?"

~.~.~.~

Liz collapsed onto the sofa in the breakroom with a deep sigh. The coffee was percolating and she'd be able to grab a new cup in, she glanced at her watch, 1.5 minutes . . . 90 seconds, that was all . . .

She stifled a yawn and looked at her watch again . . . 85 seconds . . . Finally she laid her head back against the sofa to wait. A minute never seemed so long . . .

~.~.~.~

Michael flipped another burger and lifted the fries from the deep fryer. Then, leaning forward into the pickup window, he checked the time.

He sighed again, still wasn't time for his break. Out of habit, he checked Maria and Liz's locations.

Maria was sitting in a booth with the gang talking and gesturing wildly . . .

He just shook his head as his eyes continued to roam the Crashdown . . . Liz was nowhere to be seen . . .

Panic was just starting to tickle his nerve endings when he heard the whimpering . . .

His break quickly forgotten, visions flooded his head of Tess in the breakroom, torturing Liz. He dropped the spatula and rushed out of the kitchen. Hand raised, ready for battle, he stepped into the breakroom, not expecting the scene before him . . .

His hand slowly lowered as he noted Liz curled on the sofa, distressed sounds emerging from deep in her throat, obviously struggling though a nightmare.

He took a step forward and then stopped and raked a hand roughly through his hair, pulling off his bandanna in the process. He sighed as he stuffed it in his pocket. He just knew that if Liz had a choice in it, she wouldn't welcome his help.

As he continued to debate, a shudder shook her frame and a solitary tear made it's way down her cheek and his decision was made.

In two strides, he was across the room and on the sofa with her. He reached forward to touch her shoulder . . .

***Flash***

_**::::A gunshot::::'Liz you have to do something!'::::A silver handprint:::: A grave:::: **_

He twitched but placed both hands on her shoulders, determined to rouse her from her private hell. Then he called her name.

She moaned, another shudder wracking her frame.

_**::::Two Liz's::::'You did this'::::'died because of you'::::'supposed to have 14 years'::::**_

_'What the hell?'_ Michael thought, his vision clouding over for the second time.

Liz's whimper brought back his focus.

"Liz wake up" he told her, trying to pry one of her hands that was gripping the sofa lose and shaking her gently. She began to tremble and only gripped the sofa tighter.

"It's just a dream Liz, it's not real" he said softly, noticing her grip relax at his words.

His voice, out of place in her dream, drew her back. Her eyes opened slowly, another tear escaping in the motion. As she blinked and realized who it was that woke her, that he could have gotten flashes from her, she moved away quickly.

Undaunted by her response, having expected it since she shied away from all of the alien-contingent of their group after nightmares, Michael patiently waited, giving her time to gather herself together and shake off her dream while he did the same with the flashes.

But she was still trembling . . .

"Are you ok?" he asked her, concern lacing his words.

She nodded, not meeting his eyes.

Feeling the wetness on her cheeks, she wiped her face shakily. "I'm fine Michael."

"Yeah and I'm the queen of Spain" he said sarcastically. He ran his hand through his hair in frustration. "Liz you are not fine. The tears you just wiped away prove that. How can I help if you won't let me?" he asked gruffly, hand falling to his side listlessly as she continued avoiding his eyes.

"There's nothing you can do Michael." She rested her head on the back of the sofa and closed her eyes. "There's nothing anyone can do" she said tiredly.

"I don't buy that Liz. Just tell me . . . What- what was that I saw in your dreams?" he asked as he rubbed his temple with a shaking hand.

She flinched but he waited. Finally she sighed.

"It's my nightmare Michael. It's the past, the present, the _future_" her voice broke "all together in technicolor." She inhaled on a sob and lurched forward, wrapping her arms around her middle as if to somehow hold in her grief. Michael reached out but she scooted back, hand held up to fend off his comfort, even as she tried to gather herself together. A few harsh breaths later, she wiped her face again and still bent forward and without looking at him said softly "Please just let it go for now Michael."

She finally looked up at him, pain undisguised, turning her eyes a darker brown. _"Please"_ she said when he looked ready to protest.

He reluctantly nodded and she sagged against the sofa in relief.

He sighed as worry etched deeper lines into his face. But he stayed silent, leaving Liz to her grief. They sat in silence for a minute, lost in their own thoughts.

"Michael, where are those burgers?" Maria called from the order window just as the smell of burning food wafted into the break room.

Michael cursed, jumping up and running for the kitchen.

~.~.~.~.~

Liz pulled her hair out of its ponytail and breathed a sigh of relief. She had made it through another day . . .

Her watch beeped and she looked down at it, smiling slightly. She then closed her bedroom door before sitting on her bed, eyes closed as if deep in thought. When she opened them, it was slowly, expectantly, and her expression softened when her eyes met his, standing in the middle of her room.

"Hey" Max said with an answering smile as he took a seat beside her on the bed, shifting so that his back rested against the headboard just as hers did.

_~*Who would sell their soul for love?*~_

"Hey" she answered.

He reached his hand out as hers reached for his and their fingers entwined, offering and receiving comfort without words.

_~*Or waste one tear on compromise?*~_

They both visibly relaxed.

"So how are you?" Max asked her softly.

_~*Should be easy enough*~_

"I'm ok" she said firmly, the lie rolling off her tongue automatically now.

_~*To know a heartache in disguise*~_

"How are _you_?" she asked, switching the focus of their conversation.

He paused and then said "Better now" as he squeezed her hand. She smiled.

_~*But the heart rules the mind*~_

"So I took the trash out today without telling anybody where I was going and Michael nearly had a heart attack" Liz said, breaking the silence.

Max smiled.

"He mumbled something about getting me a leash" she said and frowned, wondering if Michael would really try that.

Max laughed. "He just worries about you is all" he answered. "For the record, so do I."

_~*And the going gets rough*~_

He turned to face her and squeezed her hand again. "We're gonna have to talk about how you're *really* doing sooner or later . . . You know that, right?"

She sighed and answered "I know."

_~*Pride takes the fall*~_

Maria knocked briefly on Liz's closed bedroom door and then opened it, peeking in.

"I thought I heard voices . . ." she said, then trailed off, looking at Liz sitting peacefully on the bed. "Everything ok?" she asked, brow crinkling with worry.

"Everything's fine Maria. I was just thinking out loud" Liz said as she leaned her head back against the headboard and squeezed Max's hand.

_~*When you find that kind of love*~_

"Ok, well . . . I'll be downstairs if you need me" Maria said and at Liz's nod, closed the door softly behind her.

_~*I can't help feeling like a fool*~_

"Why don't you want them to know?" Max asked even though they had had this discussion before.

"Because if we tell the group, they'll just want to use our meetings to get updates . . . This way of communicating, this _connection_, it's ours . . . I just need it to stay ours for awhile longer."

_~*Since I lost that place inside*~_

He took a quick breath and nodded.

"How long can you stay this time?" she murmured, moving closer. She wanted to crawl into him and disappear. These moments with him were the only time she felt like she wouldn't just shatter into pieces . . . Never to be put together again . . .

_~*Where my heart knew its way*~_

"Not long" he answered.

_~*And my soul was ever wise*~_

"I miss you" she said softly.

_~*Once innocence was lost*~_

"Not as much as I miss you" he answered.

_~*There was not faith enough*~_

"So come home" she pleaded.

_~*Still my heart held on*~_

"You know I can't Liz. As long as Tess is out here I have to be too." He sighed as he noted the dark circles under her eyes. "I'll try to get home soon" he conceded as he caressed her cheek.

She nodded as she leaned her head back and closed her eyes, reveling in his phantom touch.

_~*When it found that kind of love*~_

She opened her eyes briefly to look at him.

"I'm so tired Max, so tired . . ." she said softly.

_~*Though beauty is rare enough*~_  
_~*Still we trust*~_  
_~*Somehow we'll find it there*~_

In that moment she let her guard down and let him feel her fatigue, the true depths of her exhaustion . . .

_~*With no guarantee*~_  
_~*It seems to me*~_

Frown lines etched themselves into his forehead and as her weariness moved through him he gasped . . .

_~*At least it should be fair*~_

"God Liz" he breathed. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry you're dealing with this alone . . . I'll come home, I will" he vowed.

She just nodded tiredly.

_~*But if it's only tears and pain*~_

"I can help if you'll let me" he said as both hands rose to frame her face.

_~*Isn't it still worth the cost?*~_

"This'll help you sleep" he said as he allowed the gentle wave to pass from him to her.

_~*Like some sweet saving grace*~_

She welcomed the warmth until his words registered. She yawned, but tried to sit up. "Max?" she said worriedly.

_~*Or a river we must cross*~_

"It'll be ok Liz. You need to rest, no nightmares, I promise" he said to her softly.

_~*If we don't understand*~  
~*What this life is made of*~_

She nodded, trusting him and fell back against the pillows and into a dreamless sleep for the first time in a long time.

_~*We learn the truth*~_

He kissed her forehead softly before he began fading away the deeper Liz fell into her sleep.

_~*When we find that kind of love*~_

Maria came back into Liz's bedroom to grab a sweater and noted Liz's state of rest. Normally she'd be upset that Liz had left her to close up alone, but if anyone deserved to rest, it was Liz.

She cocked her head to the side and studied Liz with a critical eye. Something was different but she couldn't put her finger on what it was. Her rest seemed somehow different from the other times she had fallen asleep out of sheer exhaustion. Then Maria realized there were no worry lines lining Liz's forehead and she didn't seem to be dreaming. She actually seemed to be at rest. Maria took the throw cover from the end of the bed and spread it over Liz, smoothing her hair away from her face.

"Sleep well" she whispered.

Elsewhere Max opened his eyes on a gasp.

"I'm coming home Liz" he said breathlessly.

_~*When we find that kind of love*~_

~.~.~.~

_Liz sat on her balcony in a lawn chair, legs pulled to her chest with her chin resting on her knees._

_She knew that she hadn't previously been here, but somehow that fact seemed unimportant . . ._

_In this place she just felt numb, anesthetized from all the pain and the crippling fear that gripped her most of the time._

_She figured that Max must have done it somehow. She would thank him for it later._

_A female voice floated on the air. "No child, that was me . . ."_

_Liz barely stirred, somehow not surprised at the news._

_She gripped her knees tighter and continued staring at the ground. Finally she sighed._

_"Could you at least show yourself this time? Talking to air kinda makes me feel insane."_

_"I am here" she heard and looked up to see an older woman with blond hair and soft brown eyes standing beside her. She met Liz's eyes calmly as she stood to the left of Liz's chair. 'Yeah, materializing out of thin air? That's not crazy at all' Liz thought wryly._

_Quickly she ran through her head what she knew about this 'visitor.' All she really knew was that this woman had been asked by Future Max to contact her only after she had a vision. Her purpose was to guide Liz in what to do next._

_"Thank you" Liz said quietly as she went back to studying the ground. She sensed rather than saw the nod that was given in return._

_After a brief silence, Liz finally asked "What took you so long?" After all it had been awhile since her vision . . ._

_"You don't sleep" the woman answered simply. "I can't get in if you don't sleep. And when you do sleep . . ." her voice trailed off kindly as Liz's eyes slid away. "I can't get in during your dreams . . . I think that other essence keeps me out . . ."_

_"So you know that-"_

_"-you came back in time? Yes I knew the moment your essence arrived. But it wasn't my place to interfere . . . not until you had a vision."_

_A sudden thought struck Liz and she sat up quickly. "What-" she wet suddenly parched lips. "What would happen if I died? Who-" her voice wavered "Wh -who would you contact then?"_

_"Zan" was the reply. "Both you and he played a pivotal part in changing the original future. Only one of you could change it back."_

_Liz collapsed back against the seat as she absorbed this. In that other time, Max was dead . . . If she had succeeded in taking her life . . ._

_She shook her head violently to dislodge the thought._

_Now was not the time to be thinking about such things. Right now she needed to get answers._

_She took a deep breath._

_"So who *are* you?" she asked, looking at the woman who had by then settled in the lawnchair beside her. "I know I've never seen you before. How do you know when to show up? How do you know when I've had a vision? How are you able to dreamwalk me?"_

_"So many questions" the woman said, shaking her head. "Let's start with a name . . . Mine is Evera. You can call me Eve. I am from the House of Solaran. I am what is known as a Seer by my people. I am like the Royal Four, a hybrid, reborn on this new world. Like Velondra, dreamwalking is one of my abilities. And I know when you've had a vision because I *see* it" she finished calmly._

_As Liz digested the information, she began to get upset._

_"Well if you can *see* the future, shouldn't you have known that Future Max's plan wouldn't work? You could have saved us all immeasurable pain before it even happened." She shook her head sadly. "I broke his heart . . . I broke his heart . . . And they died . . . They all died . . ." she said, voice breaking._

_"Calm yourself Child" Evera said softly._

_Liz felt soothing calmness wash over her and she knew without looking that Evera had somehow sent the emotion to her. She slowly sat back in her chair, folding her hands in her lap._

_Eve continued._

_"My power doesn't work that way. I can't see the future of a reality that hasn't happened. Time travel changes everything. It can do immeasurable harm to the world around us. That's why the granolith was never intended for it. But Zan said that my daughter helped to alter it. Even at an early age, she was so stubborn . . ."_

_"Serena" Liz whispered, wide eyes focused on Evera._

_Evera continued. "I digress . . . The point is that when one attempts to change the future, so many things can go alter one thing and suddenly the whole world changes. You've seen that." Liz somberly nodded. "I warned Zan about this but he refused to listen. He needed to believe that he could change things, make them better . . ." She trailed off._

_"So . . ." Liz looked over at her tentatively. "So I know I'm not supposed to ask, but you're here because I had that vision . . . Is- Is the world going to end again?"_

_Evera sighed. "I wish I could answer that question for you child, but I can't."_

_Liz sunk deeper into her chair, not knowing if she could take much more._

_Evera continued. "Knowledge of the future is a powerful thing . . . That's why most seers are hidden from the world, our knowledge protected, shielded, from those who would seek to misuse it. One should not know all that will happen, because just the simple act of knowing can alter a sequence of events."_

_"So what does that mean?" Liz asked hopelessly. "That you can't tell me until I've lost everything again? Because you _have_ to know that I can't watch everyone die again . . . I just . . . can't . . ." Liz finished brokenly, tears beginning to stream down her face._

_"Child, you need to share your burden . . . It was not meant to be carried alone . . ."_

_"So the responsibility is mine but not the burden? That doesn't even make sense!" Liz cried, frustrated. "How can I just lay this knowledge on them when they can't do anything to change it? As you said, only Max or I can! And I can barely handle knowing and I lived through it once before."_

_She got up and began to pace frenetically._

_"I'm just-" she wiped her face with one hand and continued pacing. "I'm just supposed to tell them that I get visions and that in the one I just had I know that-" She sniffed and continued, her voice low "-that Maria will die first, then Kyle, then Isabel-"_

_"Child-" Eve tried to interrupt._

_"-then Max, Michael, then Alex. That it will be painful . . ." Her voice fell. "Tell them that they're all going to die?" she practically whispered, sitting down in her lawnchair heavily._

_Once again soothing calmness washed over her and she inhaled shakily._

_Eve's voice drifted to her quietly._

_"It's a hard gift to have, isn't it?" Not expecting an answer, Eve shifted and placed a hand on Liz's knee. "I've been getting visions for two lifetimes now and it still hurts to know what I know at times . . ."_

_Liz looked over at her silently as she again wiped her tears._

_"The point here is that even though our gifts are similar, that we both see the future, my visions show the ways things are, while yours, the way they shouldn't be . . . Sometimes the outcome can be changed, sometimes it cannot . . ."_

_She patted Liz's knee and then sat back._

_"I can't tell you which one is true in this case without possibly altering the future . . . But I can tell you that from now on, you will need to keep the crystal with you at all times . . . It will be needed . . . You will know what to do."_

_Liz opened and closed her mouth, wanting to ask more questions, but Evera looked firm._

_"I must go now" Evera told her as she stood and stepped away._

_"But-" Liz paused and asked her anyway. "What will happen now?"_

_She silently pleaded with Evera for some good news, a light at the end of the tunnel, some hope to cling to . . ._

_Eve's eyes glowed for a moment as she searched for an answer to Liz's question. Then she met Liz' eyes. "It'll all be over soon" she said as her form shimmered and began to fade away._

_"What does that mean?" Liz called after her futilely, realizing that she wouldn't get an answer._

_Eve was already gone._

~.~.~.~

Liz jerked awake, Eve's words echoing ominously in her head.

_'It'll all be over soon . . .'_

**tbc . . . **

_Music in this chapter from Allison Krauss "That Kind of Love"_


	20. Nerves

**Author's Note: ** Ok, so here's something a little weird that happened . . . When I was editing this story, I found a lot of little scenes that I had written that were too short to be chapters but still progressed the story along and still totally deserved their day in the sun . . . Yet trying to work them into existing chapters didn't make sense because they did fine as standalones . . .

Enter the phenomenon known as the "Interlude" . . .

Yep . . . Call it a cheap ploy to keep the readers happy while I edit future parts . . . Call it a marketing technique to present the reader with new stuff often enough that they forget how long I took to post or . . . Um, forget I said that last one ok? . . . Um, yeah . . .

Anyway, call it what you will, but it _is_ something . . .

And now a quote which I think perfectly reflects how I feel about this whole "Interlude" concept . . .

_**Dr. Katz:** I hope I haven't cheapened what I do._

_**Ben: **Oh you definitely have._

_**Dr. Katz:** Well then I hope for something else._

lol . . .

Ok, so feel free to hate the "Interlude" . . . As someone once said, flames are great for making S'mores . . . lol . . . So if you must, flame away . . . :-) . . .

So here we go . . .

**Interlude I: Nerves**

"Liz" Maria said from beside her.

Liz nearly jumped out of her skin.

"Whoa there chica!" Maria said, taking a step back and holding her hands out in a non-threatening manner. "It's just me."

The sounds of the busy café rushed in, making Liz feel like she had just gotten her hearing back after being struck momentarily deaf. All of the noise in the busy restaurant seemed raucous just then.

"Sorry. I guess I'm just a little jittery, probably too much caffeine" Liz said apologetically, reaching for the dishtowel she had been using to finish wiping down the counter.

Liz had been doing that a lot lately. Just drawing into herself. She couldn't tell them that the weight of the world was not a light burden to carry.

Maria narrowed her eyes, but didn't pursue it. Liz never opened up anymore. All conversations stayed strictly surface. Maria sighed as she adjusted her antennae. Truth be told, she missed her friend.

"It's ok chica" she said, giving Liz a smile. "It's just a madhouse in here today." Maria's glance flicked around the café. "And table three has been trying to get your attention for awhile now."

They both turned to see one of the customers at table three, who looked highly irritated, signal when he finally caught Liz's eye.

"Gotta feed the monkey right?" Maria said with as she pushed Liz towards the customer. Liz just nodded and pasted a polite smile on her face as she went to see what he needed.

Maria's smile turned into a frown as soon as Liz turned away from her. She headed to the pickup window to talk to Michael.

The situation with Liz was not improving . . .

_~Fade~_


	21. I'll be

_"Just try and get through the day, ok? Just keep moving forward, keep breathing . . ."_

**Interlude II: I'll be**

"She's doing it again" Maria said, resting her forearms on the order window and looking worriedly over at Liz who was staring out of the window blankly.

"I know" Michael answered pensively, looking over at Liz too. "But what can we do?"

Maria looked at him hopefully. "I think you should talk to her. She came to you for help before, maybe you can help her again."

Michael sighed.

"I tried talking to her awhile ago. I got nowhere" he said, frustration hitting him once again. Maria's shoulders slumped as hope deflated and Michael felt even worse. He followed Maria's line of sight back to Liz. She was talking with Alex who managed to coax a small smile out of her. Even though it disappeared quickly, it was there . . .

Then they both watched as she left the table Isabel, Alex, and Kyle were sitting at and went back to staring out of the window.

"Honestly?" he said, lowering his voice. "I think you and Alex should talk to her together. I mean, you're her best friends right? If anybody besides Max can get through to her, it'd be you two."

Maria's head tilted contemplatively. "You know, Isabel kinda said the same thing, but I discounted it."

"Why?"

"I didn't want her to feel like we were ganging up on her." She chewed on her bottom lip reflexively. "I guess we have to do something though, huh?" she said with a shaky inhale.

Michael didn't answer and looked at her for a minute before saying "Could you come back here for a minute?"

She nodded absently as she sent another worried look in Liz's direction and then proceeded to the kitchen. Michael stood waiting, leaning with one hip against the counter. When she entered, he outstretched a hand and said softly "Give me your hand Maria."

Without preamble she placed her hand in his. Just as he suspected, it was shaking. His brow furrowed as he took his other hand and sheltered her shaking one between his. He looked into her eyes and watched as she dropped the facade of keeping it together and her face crumbled.

"I'm so scared Michael" she said as he pulled her to him, enclosing her in his warmth. He just held her closer.

"We could be in our final days here and . . . and I can't change that one way or another . . . But I'm watching one of my best friends fall apart, right before my eyes and I can't seem to do a thing about that either . . . I'm just, I'm not doing too well with all this." Her arms tightened around him as she buried her face in his chest.

"I know Maria, I know" he said, holding her tighter. "Liz will be ok. We'll make sure of it."

Maria shook her head.

"There's something I should tell you" she said as she listened to the solid thump of his heart in her ear. It reassured her . . . Made her feel calmer, safe . . .

"What is it?" he murmured, once again hating the useless feeling that came over him, realizing how scared Maria was.

"Liz told me something awhile back and it scared me at the time, but I'm even more afraid now . . ."

"I'm listening" he said patiently, running a hand soothingly up and down her back.

Maria took a shaky breath and closed her eyes. "In that other timeline . . . after Max and Alex . . . died . . . Liz tried . . . she tried to kill herself . . ."

"What?" Michael said as his hand stilled. He looked down at Maria as she looked up at him. He went back to rubbing her back.

"She tried to kill herself Michael" Maria repeated in a calm voice that belied the turmoil she was feeling inside. "She said that it just became too hard for her, so she gave up . . . _Oh god_" she said, collapsing against him. "I can't lose her Michael, I just _can't_" she sobbed as she gripped the back of his shirt in her fists.

Michael held her tightly and murmured soothingly to her until she calmed down, while in his head he was reeling with this new information. As bad as things seemed, it had never occurred to him that they should be on a suicide watch for Liz . . .

"Wait, Maria, you said she _tried_ to commit suicide. What stopped her?" he asked, thinking they could just do whatever had helped the first time.

Maria looked up at him pensively as she answered "You."

Michael looked down at her, shocked speechless. Finally he managed to get out "Me? H-How?"

"She said that you pulled her back from the ledge . . . I don't know how you knew to be there, but you were . . . I love you Spaceboy" Maria said, pulling him down for a sweet kiss.

Michael's heart flipped. He still wasn't used to hearing those words. He didn't think he'd ever get used to hearing them. But he'd always want her to say them . . . Always . . .

"I love you too Maria" he said, holding her tightly again. She nodded against his chest, too emotional to revel in him uttering those words like she normally would. "And Maria?" She looked up at him curiously, eyes still full of unshed tears for her friend. "When you and Alex talk to Liz, count me in too . . . I want to be there."

"Ok" she said, feeling some of her tension lessen, now that she had shared her fears with Michael.

"Ok, I should get back out there" she said, stepping back. Michael's arms reluctantly loosened, not wanting to let her go.

He watched as she straightened her uniform, replaced her antennae that had fallen at some point and wiped her face. He wondered not for the first time how he had managed to get someone like Maria to fall for someone like him . . .

"How do I look?" she asked, interrupting his reverie.

He waved a hand across her face, taking away any indications that she'd been crying. "You look beautiful Maria, as always" he said, kissing her briefly on the lips and then pushing her lightly out of the kitchen, gruff manner fully restored; Only the soft look in his eyes reminding her of the Michael of a few moments ago.

"Thanks Michael" she said softly before she left the room, returning to work.

As he looked back out through the order window, he frowned.

Liz still hadn't moved from the spot she'd been standing in . . .

_~Fade~_

_Title from song by Edwin McCain_


	22. The Intervention

**Previously on Time Runs Both Ways:**

**~.~  
**

_"Liz?" Michael spoke up from the doorway. "Are you ok?"_

_"I'm fine."_

~.~

_"Liz, you are not fine. The tears you just wiped away prove that. How can I help if you won't let me?" Michael asked her gruffly, hand falling to his side listlessly as she continued avoiding his eyes._

_"Please just let it go for now Michael."_

_She finally looked up at him, pain undisguised, turning her eyes a darker brown. "Please" she said when he looked ready to protest._

_He reluctantly nodded and she sagged against the sofa in relief._

~.~

_"How are you?" Max asked her softly._

_"I'm ok" she said firmly, the lie tumbling from her lips automatically now._

~.~

_"Child, you need to share your burden. It was not meant to be carried alone."_

_"So the responsibility is mine but not the burden? That doesn't even make sense!" Liz cried, frustrated. "How can I just lay this knowledge on them when they can't do anything to change it? As you said, only Max or I can! And I can barely handle knowing and I lived through it once before."_

_Eve's voice drifted to her quietly._

_"It's a hard gift to have, isn't it?"_

~.~

_"She's doing it again" Maria said, resting her forearms on the order window and looking worriedly over at Liz who was staring out of the window blankly._

_"I know" Michael answered pensively, looking over at Liz too. "But what can we do?"_

~.~

_And now . . ._

~.~

**The Intervention**

_I'm never alone, I'm alone all the time - Bush "Glycerine"_

"Liz, could you come out here for a minute?" Maria called from the living room where she, Alex, and Michael were waiting.

"Sure" Liz answered, reluctantly lowering the crystal she had been so focused on just moments before. A rainbow of colors swam in the crystal's depths as it changed from a bright red to it's usual transparent state. She sighed as she placed it back in the pocket of her sweater and wearily left the room with no idea at all what was in store for her in the other room . . .

~.~.~.~

"Hey, so where's my other shadow?" Kyle asked, looking around when he came back to the table from the bathroom.

"Alex is upstairs with Maria, Michael, and Liz" Isabel answered, not even minding the 'shadow' comment anymore.

Kyle's voice lowered conspiratorially "So they're doing it now? The intervention thing?"

Isabel nodded, listlessly picking at her fries and the table was quiet as they both contemplated whether anything would help Liz at this point.

As the bell over the door signaled the departure of a customer, Kyle shook off his heavy thoughts and reached for the worn pack of cards he kept in his back pocket. He waved the pack in front of Isabel, interrupting her reverie. "What do you think? Deuces wild?"

She nodded absently, her mind drifting back from what could be happening upstairs. She reached for the deck as a welcome distraction.

"I'll shuffle."

~.~.~.~

"What's going on?" Liz asked, her eyes flickering to the room's three occupants curiously.

"Liz, you know we love you right?" Maria asked carefully.

"Yeah?" she answered, puzzled.

_~*I am wondering who I am today*~_

"So we want you to be ok" Alex spoke up from the sofa.

"And I _am_ ok" she assured them, not focusing on any of them until her eyes met Michael's.

_~*I've been wondering who I am all week*~_

He gave her an _'I know better'_ look and she looked away.

_~*If I am wondering who I am all month, all year*~_

"Ok, so I'm not ok" she said, eyes focused on a faraway point beyond the room. "But these are not 'ok' times. I'm just trying to cope . . ."

_~*Is that ok?*~_

The room was silent for a moment.

"Remember when you were 13 and you had to get your appendix removed?" Maria asked, out of the blue.

Liz paused, then nodded.

"You hated being in the hospital. You were so scared of having surgery and just wanted to go home."

"Your parents let Maria and I stay in the room with you until they wheeled you into surgery" Alex said, picking up the story.

Maria continued, her smile bittersweet. "The anesthesia started to kick in, so your eyes were closed, but right before they wheeled you away, your hands reached out . . ."

"And we each grabbed one and you held tight until you were fully asleep . . ."

"I remember" Liz said softly, comforted by the memory.

_~*I feel like I used to know my dreams*~_

"Well, we're still here Lizzie" Alex said softly.

"All you have to do is reach out" Maria finished, looking at Liz hopefully.

Liz's mind drew inward.

_"**I'm just supposed to tell them that I get visions and that in the one I just had I know that Maria will die first . . ."**_

She suppressed a shudder and blinked the room back into focus.

_~*Now they're wrapped up in my tears*~_

"It's not . . ." Liz stumbled over her words ". . . It's just, it's not the same . . . I just _can't_ . . ."

_~*When I hear my voice, it's not my voice I wanna hear*~_

She silently pleaded with them to understand and forgive her, even though she hardly recognized herself these days.

_~*When I look for my dreams I find it's not that clear*~  
~*Anymore*~_

Maria's face fell and Alex looked down at the floor. Michael finally spoke up as he stepped over to Liz. He lifted her chin, forcing her to meet his eyes. "It's _exactly_ the same Liz. You're scared . . . And they're here . . . _We're_ here . . . There's no reason to handle this alone, because you're _not_ alone."

"But-"

_~*I am looking in myself today*~_

"Lizzie?" Maria interrupted in a small voice, having moved to the mantel and studying the picture of the three of them resting there. "I'm just so afraid all the time Lizzie . . ."

_~*I've been looking in myself all week*~_

She looked over at Liz as slow tears began to fall from her eyes. Liz struggled to hold her emotions in check looking at Maria.

_~*If I am looking in myself all month, all year*~_

"I feel like I'm losing my best friend" Maria said as a sob broke free.

_~*Is that ok?*~_

Liz rushed over to her and threw her arms around her, tears falling from her own eyes now.

_~*I feel like I used to know my dreams*~_

"I can't lose you Lizzie . . . I need you" she said, her voice coming out muffled as her arms flew around Liz and the two friends embraced tearfully. Alex threw himself into the hug, looping an arm around both of them tightly.

_~*Then wrapped them up and I held them close to me*~_

Michael just breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed against the back of the sofa.

"I know we can't possibly understand what you've been through, but just don't shut us out. Don't close yourself off from everyone so much that you waste away" Alex finally said to Liz softly.

Liz pulled back. "I'll try not to" she said, giving them both a watery smile that left a moment later.

_~*But now it's escaping me*~_

***Flash***

_"**They were supposed to have 14 years . . . Now what do they have?"**_

_~*What am I doing here?*~_

Her whole body shook as guilt bombarded her . . .

_~*What am I doing here?*~_

She couldn't do this . . .

_~*What am I doing here?*~_

Without so much as a word, she lunged away from them and bolted from the room, leaving three stunned people behind.

_~*I am wondering who I am today*~_

"What just happened?"

_~*I've been wondering who I am all week*~_

"I don't know . . ." was the confused answer.

_~*If I am wondering who I am all month, all year*~  
~*Is that ok?*~_

After that, all that followed was silence . . .

**tbc . . . **

_Music in this chapter from Nyree "Wondering"_


	23. Pandora

_"What makes hope reality is Faith" – Dead Zone_

**Interlude IV: Pandora**

Liz sat staring out at the stars as Max climbed up the fire escape and onto her balcony.

For a second, she just stared in shock, unable to believe that he was really there . . .

Then as the breeze blew and his clothes rustled, she unfroze was in his embrace before a word was even spoken.

Her soul exhaled as his arms came around her and her heart cried . . .

_~*I didn't come this far*~_

He was real . . . Solid, _warm_ and real . . .

The flash hit her unexpectedly . . .

_'**Max is dead . . . He's dead'**_

She pulled away from him quickly and stepped back, catching her breath and reigning in her emotions.

_~*For you to make this hard for me*~_

Away from his comforting arms, she felt cold. She wrapped her arms around herself and went back to her chair, avoiding his eyes and staring out into the dark void of night.

"How can I help?" he asked, surprising her with his question . . .

_~*And now you want to ask me 'How?'*~_

She didn't answer. _'I'm fine'_ echoing over and over in her head until the words lost all meaning.

_~*It's like*~_

Not that they had much meaning to begin with . . .

_~*How does your heart beat?*~_

They were more reflex than anything.

_~*Why do you breathe?*~_

Realizing he wouldn't get an answer, he sat down in the chair next to hers, his hand automatically reaching for hers across the expanse . . .

_~*Why did you come here?*~_

"I can't" she said softly, a catch in her throat, as she pulled away before his made contact. She folded her hands in her lap in an attempt to occupy them and avoided looking at him.

_~*You weren't invited*~_

"It's getting worse, isn't it?" he asked her softly, drawing her gaze.

_~*You're on the outside*~_

_'Getting worse'_ . . . What did that even mean? All she knew was that she was falling apart and Max was here.

_Here . . ._

_~*Stay on the outside*~_

"I'm so afraid I won't be able to stop it from happening again" she said quietly, head lowered, waiting for the barrage of questions from him.

_~*And now you want to ask me 'Why?'*~_

He reached for her hand again and this time she didn't withdraw, the heat from his body soaking into hers, warming her from the inside . . .

_~*It's like*~_

Words continued to pour from her lips.

_~*How does your heart beat?*~_

"I feel like I'm drowning sometimes, like I'm being pulled under . . ."

_~*How do you breathe?*~_

"I can't come up for air" she said, her voice catching again on the last words.

_~*How does your heart beat?*~  
~*Why do you breathe?*~_

"C'mere" he said as he pulled her towards him.

_~*With all the things that you could be*~_

She settled on his chair as he pulled her close, her back to his chest, her head came to rest beneath his chin . . .

_~*I never could learn how to be me*~_

After a comforting silence, Max spoke up, his voice resonating against her body.

"Do you know what was the last thing to come out of Pandora's Box?" he asked in a bewildering change of topic as he pulled her closer.

_~*And now you want to ask me 'How?'*~_

Warm . . . So deliciously _warm_ . . .

_~*It's like*~_

She shook her head slightly. "Pandora's box? The box that supposedly released all of the bad things into the world . . . Disease, Hatred . . . That box?"

_~*How does your heart beat?'*~_

"Yeah, that one . . ." She turned to him confused and he continued. "The last thing out of Pandora's Box was _Hope_ Liz." He looked deep into her eyes as if willing her to understand.

_~*Why do you breathe?*~_

"You've gone through and experienced" he paused and her eyes dropped "more pain than anyone ever should have to . . ." He squeezed her hand even as her heart clenched at the raw emotion in his voice. "But Liz" he waited till her eyes met his again. "I promise it'll get better. We'll make it better . . ." She looked down, memories swimming in her head that belied his words. "I'm not asking you to believe Liz, just have hope" he said as if he knew where her thoughts had drifted. "There's a way to win this and we'll find it. We _have_ to . . . Just have Hope" echoed in her head as he sat back and tightened his arms around her reassuringly.

They sat there in silence for a while until she suppressed a yawn.

_~*How does your heart beat?*~_

"Sleep Liz" he said to her softly, as he caressed the side of her face, putting her to sleep. "I'll still be here when you wake up" he said, soothingly.

She smiled as she snuggled further into his embrace and let her eyes drift closed, trying to hold onto Hope . . .

_~*How do you breathe?*~_

_~Fade~_

_Lyrics from "How" by Lisa Loeb_


	24. In the air tonight

**Chapter 20: In the air tonight**

Maria made her way tiredly up the stairs, then pushing the door open she stepped into the apartment and turned to go down the hallway, slowly regathering her hair into a ponytail.

A noise behind her caused her to turn . . .

~.~.~

Liz finished wiping down a table. She could hear Michael in the kitchen, cleaning the grill.

_~*I can feel it coming in the air tonight*~_

A chill caused her to shiver and she clasped the sweater she'd thrown on over her uniform close and shook her head as she went back to cleaning.

_~*Hold on*~_

~.~.~

Maria's breath whooshed out of her as she came face to face with the person Max had been chasing for over a month.

_~*I've been waiting for this moment all my life*~_

"Tess" she said as her eyes narrowed.

_~*Hold on*~_

~.~.~

Liz stared out at the endless night through the window and turned when she felt Michael behind her.

"What is it?" he asked as he looked over her shoulder out into the night.

_~*Can you feel it coming in the air tonight?*~_

"Probably nothing" she said as she went back to stacking chairs.

_~*Hold on, Hold on*~_

~.~.~

_Maria swung a hard right, putting all her rage into the punch, her fist smacking into Tess's face so hard her whole head flew sideways, a stunned look on her face as she collapsed to the floor in a pile of boneless mass, passed out cold._

_Evil Alien Bitch: 0_  
_Teflon Babe: 1_

Maria shook her head, ridding it of her favorite daydream . . .

The plan was if anyone saw Tess, call for backup.

"You're not who I came for, but you'll do" Tess said, waving a hand and a shimmering bubble appeared around the outer edges of the living room and kitchen. She stepped closer to Maria, who proceeded to take two steps back.

_~*Well I remember, I remember don't worry*~_  
_~*How could I ever forget?*~_

Maria's mind was working overtime, considering and then discarding various scenarios for taking out Tess without endangering anyone else.

"Michael! Liz!" Maria called out as she tucked her hands into the folds of her uniform.

"They can't hear you." Tess waved her hands at the bubble, stepping closer. "It's sound proof" she said smugly.

_~*It's the first time, the last time we ever met*~_

Maria finally grasped the swiss army knife she'd started carrying tucked into the large pocket of her apron. In reality she just hoped to slow Tess down enough to get to the others. She knew when she started carrying it that if she came face to face with Tess that it was a long shot against Tess's powers, but being only human, she had to try . . .

She flipped the blade open with one hand and grasped the handle.

She knew she'd only get one chance . . .

~ .~.~

Michael glanced over at Liz as he brought the bucket of water and mop from the back. Something was definitely bothering her . . .

_~*But I know the reason why you keep your silence up*~_  
_~*No you don't fool me*~_

Liz wearily stacked another chair on top of the table and tried to ignore the nagging worry at the back of her mind, not even noticing Michael watching her, concerned.

_~*The hurt doesn't show, but the pain still grows*~_  
_~*It's no stranger to you or me*~_

~ .~.~

"Max!" Maria said surprised, looking behind Tess.

_~*I can feel it coming in the air tonight*~_

When Tess turned, Maria lunged at her with the knife outstretched. Tess spun quickly and fired a blast at Maria before she even reached her destination. The blast knocked Maria's feet from under her and she went sprawling, falling heavily on the knife she was holding. She gasped and turned over, putting her hand over her stomach then lifting it to eye level, noting the blood coating her hand and the pain spreading from her abdomen.

_"Bitch"_ she said to Tess before she passed out.

_~*Hold on, Hold on*~_

~ .~.~

"I'm gonna go help Maria with the extra napkins" Liz said as she set down her rag. Michael nodded as he began to mop the floor with renewed vigor, wanting to get closing finished so that they could all go home and try to relax.

Liz headed through the doors to the back, a sense of urgency gripping her as soon as her feet touched the stairs.

_~*I can feel it coming in the air tonight*~_  
_~*Hold on*~_  
_~*Hold on*~_

~ .~.~

Tess stood on the balcony, impatiently waiting for the hapless human she'd mindwarped to make his way up the ladder. She had him take Maria, who was unconscious but still breathing, out of the apartment and place her in the car she'd parked down the block.

Before following him out of the window, she dropped her parting gift on the bed where Liz would see it and climbed out and into the night . . .

~ .~.~

Liz made her way into the apartment and the first thing she noticed was the trail of gray liquid leading to the hallway. She followed it to her bedroom, her heart pounding wildly in her chest. She walked with purpose, even though she wanted to run . . . which way, she wasn't sure, she just knew she wanted to run . . .

"Maria?" she called, meaning to speak loudly, but the sound emerged as barely a whisper that died away when she spotted the large pool of liquid in the middle of her bedroom floor.

She bent down and hesitantly touched it, then brought it to her nose and sniffed.

The copper smell filled her senses and she jerked back and fell down, staring at the puddle as the room dipped and went sideways, taking her with it . . .

They say that there are moments in life that change you forever. Liz felt like she'd had a lot of those, too many really. Truthfully, she wanted no more . . . Yet without her permission, her world once again changed, _shifted_ . . . Before her eyes the room blurred and then cleared into bright and horrifying clarity. She stared at the puddle in dawning comprehension and horror.

_Red . . ._

Color suddenly came back into her world . . . But it was too much color . . . too startling, too bright . . . too much . . . She wished she could shut it off, turn the world gray again, because the most horrible part of being able to see colors again was that she now recognized that she was looking at Maria's blood . . .

***Flash***

_"**I'm just supposed to tell them that I get visions and that in the one I just had I know that Maria will die first?"**_

A violent tremor shook her whole body and her arms wrapped around her waist as she bent forward, taking deep breaths to keep from sobbing . . .

That's when she spotted the note with her name on it on her bed. She slowly rose, reigning in her emotions as she avoided the puddle and picked it up.

_She's not dead yet, but she will be if you don't do as I say.  
Meet me outside the pod chamber and bring the rest of the translation.  
Come alone or I finish the job._

_Tess_

Liz sucked in a breath. A moment later her spine stiffened and as the tremors stopped she grabbed the keys from the dresser, tucked the note in her pocket and, without looking back, climbed out of the window . . .

~.~.~

Michael made his way up the stairs to Liz's apartment slowly, telling himself that he was being ridiculous, that Maria and Liz were having a gabfest and that's what was taking them so long to come back.

So he forced his steps to be slow and measured instead of pounding and erratic. He had felt this panicked feeling every time any one in the group wandered out of his vision for too long. They had even started teasing him for his overprotectiveness and, feeling embarrassed, he had tried to keep it to a minimum.

As he finally made it up the stairs, he wondered why he didn't hear anything, but he was so busy convincing himself that nothing was wrong that when he first spotted the blood by the coffee table, he almost overlooked it.

Almost.

**tbc . . . **

_Music in this chapter from "In the air tonight"_

_Next chapter: Liz and Tess confrontation . . . finally . . ._


	25. You can run

_**A/N:**__ Forgive me father, for I have sinned. It has been 2 years since my last update . . . _

_So yes, it has been a long, long time since I've posted to this story . . . And as stated above, I know this is a terrible, terrible thing. But you know, that real life thing gets in the way sometimes and things just fall by the waste side. I definitely apologize for that. Now I suspect that most of the people who were reading this way back in the long ago are long gone now, but still, in the interest of not leaving a story forever unfinished I figured I'd post even if no one is reading. I still get credit for that, yes? lol . . . With that said, if anyone is still out there, please let me know . . . _

_And now, on with the show . . . _

**Previously on Time Runs Both Ways:**

_Liz stands on a ledge contemplating suicide . . . Both Alex and Max were gone, killed by Tess in her attempt to return to Antar. Michael pulls Liz back from the ledge and in the following days, she tries to recover. But things go from bad to worse when she gets a vision of everyone dying . . . _

_Enter mystery lady, later identified as new character, Evera (a.k.a. Eve) in Liz's dream to tell her that her vision will come true and Future Max's letter that offers a way, not to prevent this future, but to undo the past that led to it . . . Liz is also told that she has powers that she will know how to use "when the need for them arises . . ." _

_As predicted, Liz's vision comes true . . . Nicholas and company lead an attack that leaves most in their group either dead or dying . . . _

_So using the crystal that Future Max left her and the granolith, Liz's essence (since her body was moments from death) travels back in time . . . _

_Now in the past a week before the prom and before Alex and Max died, Liz struggles with her memories of that other time . . . She finds it increasingly hard to prevent the past from repeating itself and she is also haunted by dreams where her other essence reminds her of the inevitability of certain events . . . _

_Max is away most of the time trying to track Tess, who is unaware of her role and just wants to return to Antar. Tess attacks Alex at the prom, trying to get the translation that will tell her how to get home and as Liz heals him she gets another vision of everyone dying, a vision that she's terrified will come to pass . . . When asked, all Evera will divulge is that from now on Liz should keep the crystal with her at all times and ending with ominous parting words that cause Liz more worry than solace._

_Then Maria is attacked and taken by Tess from the Crashdown. Tess leaves Liz a note that tells Liz to meet her at the pod chamber, to bring the translation and to come alone. Given that Maria is in danger and evidence that she is hurt, Liz complies . . . _

_And now . . . _

_"It'll all be over soon . . ."_

**Chapter 21: You can run...**

The calm Liz had been holding onto slowly disintegrated the closer she got to the pod chamber, so that by the time she parked the car, she was in an almost full-on panic. Not having time to pull herself together, _Maria was bleeding somewhere!,_ she grabbed the translation, jumped out and ran to Tess's SUV, but more importantly, the bundle beside it.

The bundle turned out to be Maria, propped up on the side of the vehicle, breathing shallowly with blood seeping out of a wound to her abdomen. Liz gulped in huge amounts of air and tried to control the panic quickly building inside her.

_There was so much blood . . . _

"Oh god" she gasped, dropping to her knees in front of Maria and placing her hand over her wound. "Oh god, Oh god, Oh god" she chanted, her body shaking in reaction. "M-Maria, pl-please wake up, Maria!" she yelled, trying to find a way in to heal her.

This was her vision . . . things had been more abstract, but this was it . . . Maria had died first, Tess got away and Nicolas and the skins showed up. Max died next, and after they wiped out everyone else.

"Pl-please wake up Maria" she pleaded softly.

Tess walked up, not even noticed by Liz and picked up the notebook that Liz had haphazardly dropped to the ground. She thumbed through it, a satisfied smile overtaking her features. Then she looked at Liz and her entire expression hardened.

"This really is unfortunate for you" Tess said, now towering over Liz. Liz blinked up at her, uncomprehending. "Here you are, all alone and defenseless." Tess flicked her wrist and Liz flew across the sand, away from Maria.

"No!" Liz wailed as she righted herself and stood. She looked at Maria, wiping the tears blurring her vision, smearing Maria's blood on her face in the process. Then she looked at Tess just as Tess was raising her hand to fling her again. Anger filled Liz and she used it as fuel as she allowed the power within her to build. She raised her hand and _shoved._ "I wouldn't say 'defenseless.'"

A surprised and more than a little pissed off Tess flew across the sand, ending up in a heap a little ways from where she'd been standing.

She got to her feet, angrily brushing sand off her clothing.

"Ok so little Lizzie Parker thinks she's a match for me, now that she has some borrowed power because Max couldn't resist healing a stray?" She tossed her head, her blonde curls bouncing, as she said cockily "No matter, you're no match for me either way. You have no idea who you're messing with little girl."

Realizing that she wasn't going to be able to get back to Maria till this battle was finished, Liz sent a silent prayer that the others would arrive in time, ending with a final desperate plea . . .

_Please don't let Maria die..._

She hoped someone out there heard her.

~.~.~

"You're sure they're out by the pod chamber?" Kyle asked again from the back seat, crushed next to Isabel who was holding onto Alex's hand for dear life, speeding headlong towards their destination.

"Yes!" was barked out in unison from both Max and Michael who were currently sitting in the front seat. Hands fisted on his knees, Michael focused on the road ahead of them, barely blinking, as if by sheer force of will he could help get them there quicker.

For his part, Max's hands gripped the steering wheel so tight his knuckles were white. Jaw clenched, muscles bunched, he was a ball of barely controlled energy, just waiting for a focus.

Suddenly the jeep slowed and Max's grip became lax as a whispered prayer greeted his ears . . .

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Michael growled at him. His control fairly close to snapping knowing both Maria and Liz were in danger.

"_Maria's hurt"_ Max said as he pressed the accelerator to the floor once again. Sharp exhalations followed his statement, but no one questioned how he knew.

"Get us there _now_ Max" Michael said in a low voice.

Max didn't bother to respond. His grip simply tightened on the steering wheel and silence consumed the jeep once again.

"_I'm coming Liz..."_

~.~.~

_"...just hold on."_

A grateful sigh escaped Liz at Max's quiet answer in her mind. He would take care of Maria. _She'd be ok . . ._

Clearing her mind, she focused once again on Tess, who was looking at her curiously now with a glint of speculation in her eyes. Liz realized that her best defense was to distract her.

"Am I pissing off the great "queen" Tess?" she said, displacing the air again with a shove.

This time Tess was prepared and deflected the power coming at her.

She smirked at Liz. "Fool me once, shame on you" she taunted as she casually waved her hand and the world, Liz's world, went away . . .

_There was nothing . . . _ and then there was the ground.

The darkness blurring the edges of her vision seemed to linger as she sat up, blinking the landscape back into focus. Tess was preparing for another strike when Liz's hand rose and a blue shield suddenly surrounded her.

Tess blinked. _'How the hell did a *human* get so many of Max's powers?'_ she thought angrily.

"Enough of this" Tess said, shaking her head as if clearing it, not sure why she hadn't finished this before now. "Why am I even wasting time trading blows with a mere human? You are so below me, you barely register" Tess said, sending a blast that, if it made contact, would end their battle once and for all. Liz's shield held as she reached in her sweater pocket to grab the crystal. Only it wasn't there . . .

"Do you really think your 'powers'" Tess spat the word "are any match for mine?" She sent another blast at Liz, this time stronger and smirked as Liz stumbled as the blast made contact with her shield.

"Maybe not" Liz said as she let Tess's blast knock her back where she appeared to stumble, but she was actually making a grab for the dropped crystal. "But let's test it."

She concentrated and felt the power explode through her veins. For a second she lost it, lost control, the power took over, she felt like she would combust with it. Inside she sobbed, afraid she'd already failed.

Then a voice whispered through her mind and, after a brief stutter, power aligned and repositioned within her using the crystal as fuel. Her head, which had been thrown back, lowered and when she finally focused on Tess, the irises of her eyes were completely black as she said calmly "Shall we?"

Tess paused, not expecting this and not sure what to think of it. There was just _no way_ Liz Parker, a human, could have the kind of power it took to . . . She shook her head, clearing her thoughts. _This was . . . a cheap parlor trick is what it was._ She needed to focus because once Liz was eliminated, she could take the translation and leave this sorry excuse for a planet once and for all. And right now, Liz was her only obstacle.

She waved a hand that warped the area around them, hiding them from view. She found that she could no longer warp anyone in the group, but she could manipulate the environment to create a barrier between them and the approaching Max and his reinforcements, that she could sense was on it's way.

_This ends now . . ._ she thought grimly.

~.~.~

"Maria!" Michael yelled as he jumped from Max's jeep before it had even come to a complete stop. Sand rose in his wake as he dropped next to Maria's crumbled form beside Tess's jeep.

"_Maria"_ he said again, his voice breaking slightly as he gathered her close, oblivious to the blood that immediately covered his clothing.

"You're ok. You're gonna be ok" Michael said, rocking her slightly in his arms.

"Michael, she's hurt, you have to let her go so Max can heal her" he heard and looked up into Isabel's eyes and discovered Alex kneeling next to him, concerned and pleading eyes meeting his across the sand.

"No" he said gruffly, shaking his head stubbornly.

"But Michael-" Alex started but silenced as Michael gently laid Maria down on the sand, adjusting her to ensure she was comfortable.

After the mini-freakout he had just had, Max was surprised when Michael looked up at him with complete clarity in his eyes. "Go find Liz and help her Max, I'll take care of Maria."

"But Michael your healing powers are erratic at best" Max said to him gently, not wanting to offend but needing to be honest.

"I'll be able to heal Maria, Maximillian. I've never been more sure of anything in my life. Go help Liz" Michael said as he opened Maria's uniform enough to reveal the wound underneath.

"Michael- Are you sure?" Max asked hesitantly, wanting to go help Liz but also knowing Liz would want him to make sure Maria was ok first.

"Go Max!" Michael barked and Max, after ordering everyone to stay put, scuttled off as Michael began trying to get Maria to open her eyes . . .

~.~.~

Moments had gone by silently as Tess sent blasts at Liz that she easily deflected. Finally Tess gathered up all of her energy and continued building it, preparing to send a blast at Liz that she wouldn't be able to handle, much less deflect. When she finally let the blast go, she nearly collapsed, it took so much of her energy with it. But she stayed standing and watched it go . . .

Liz's eyes followed the blast curiously and when it hit her force-field, the impact caused it to bounce. For a moment, Liz stared in shock, her irises returning to normal as the blast went back towards Tess in slow motion . . . Tess, who was too exhausted to move out of it's way, much less try to deflect it . . .

The force of it was so strong it sent her flying back towards an outcropping of rocks. Tossing her away like a ragdoll, the impact was so shocking that for a moment she didn't even feel the boulder embed itself into her back . . . Or the outpouring of blood that flowed from the wound . . .

Liz stood stock still . . . Shocked and horrified that it had come to this . . .

Tess coughed and blood poured from her lips. Liz gasped in shock . . .

_What had she done?_

And at that moment, it wasn't about what Tess had almost done, or what she'd done in that other lifetime, about saving her friends or the world . . . It was about a living being in pain . . .

_If she could help . . ._

Tess was now struggling to rise, but too injured and too weak from the power she'd used to do more than fall back on the rocks, tears began to roll down her cheeks. She hadn't felt this helpless since she was a child first emerging into this new world, alone.

Liz dropped down beside her. "Don't move Tess" she said softly as she reached to turn her slightly to the side to assess the damage.

"Stop, what are you doing?" Tess said, slightly hysterical, ineffectively trying to push Liz away, afraid of what she'd do to her in her weakened state.

Liz grabbed one of her flailing arms and held it calmly. "Tess, please, I just want to help."

"Yeah right" Tess chuckled and coughed up more blood "*You* helping *me*?" she panted, starting to have trouble breathing. "Th-that could h-happen . . ."

Liz ignored her as she concentrated, trying to find a way in . . .

~.~.~

"Maria!" Michael said hoarsely, a hint of desperation creeping into his voice now. She had lost too much blood already and her breathing was getting shallower.

Alex and Kyle were silent beside him, not knowing what to do to help.

"Pixie, I swear if you die on me, I will follow behind you just to make your afterlife miserable" he said desperately. "Now dammit Maria, open your eyes!" His voice broke and slowly his eyes closed, a prayer escaping his lips to a deity he didn't even believe in to help him heal Maria.

"God Spaceboy, there's no need to yell" Maria said weakly as her unfocused eyes opened slowly, landing on Michael after a moment.

"Oh thank god" he said softly, wasting no time, his eyes met hers and he was in, both of them so deeply entwined they didn't hear Max calling for Liz a few moments later.

The sounds around them seemed to fade and all Liz could hear was the rough breaths Tess was taking trying to catch her breath. It felt like the wind stopped blowing, crickets stopped chirping, like everything froze in that instant, and Liz had time to recognize Max's voice calling her name . . .

And then the flashes started . . .

_**Edward Harding walked in, or, as Tess was supposed to think of him, "Dad" walked in, with a pile of photos that he dumped on the table where she was reading a magazine. She sighed as she moved the magazine aside. He'd been gone for weeks with no calls, no contact, nothing, but as always when he did show up there was no "hi", no "how's it going?", just his usual brisk attitude and straight to whatever he felt like letting her know. She pulled the photos toward her disinterestedly until he voiced the words that made her heart pound . . . **_

"_**I found them" he said with perfect calm, a note of triumph in his voice.**_

_**She eagerly looked at the first photo. It was of a tall, statuesque blond girl . . . **_

"_**Velondra" Ed voiced from behind her.**_

'_**Pretty' she thought as she moved the photo to the side.**_

_**Next she encountered the photo of a boy with spiky hair and a sullen expression. Before she could form an opinion, from behind her came "Rath."**_

_**She nodded and moved that photo aside also.**_

_**Her breath caught at the next photo of a somber faced boy with amber eyes. He looked so intense, so focused, she wondered what he was thinking when the picture was taken . . . **_

"_**Zan" Ed said from behind her at the same time that she thought "Mine" . . . **_

_**She looked at the photo for a moment longer before moving onto the next one which was a group photo with all three of them sitting at a table eating. Her heart seemed to settle and she felt almost happy with thoughts of finally meeting her family, the only ones like her on this world . . . **_

_~.~.~.~_

_**Seeing Max for the first time, she stood inside the cafeteria looking out as he stood by a tree, quietly reading. Every once in awhile he'd look up and around as if he were waiting for someone . . . Suddenly arms appeared around his waist and he smiled a smile so wide it was almost blinding and her world flashed as he turned to embrace a short brunette whose smile matched his own . . . **_

_~.~.~.~_

"_**How do you know women so well?"**_

"_**Who are *you*?"**_

_ ~*Love will abide*~_

"_**Liz is human. She has nothing to do with us."**_

"_**No, *you* have nothing to do with us!"**_

_ ~*Take things in stride*~_

"_**I knew this was meant to be."**_

"_**No."**_

_ ~*Sounds like good advice*~_

"_**It's not working. Why isn't it working?"**_

"_**I think whatever happened to him is...something we can't reverse."**_

_ ~*But there's no one at my side*~_

"_**He can't die! We need him."**_

"_**I'm sorry Tess."**_

_ ~*Time washes clean*~ _

"_**You lived another life, Max...a life completely different from this one...a life when you loved me."**_

_ ~*Love's wounds unseen*~_

"_**I don't remember that."**_

_ ~*That's what someone told me*~  
~*But I don't know what it means*~_

"_**I don't care about my destiny . . . or my planet or anything else . . ." **_

"_**I don't care about my destiny . . ."**_

"_**I don't care about my destiny . . ."**_

"_**All I care about is you. So just know this...I'm coming for you, Liz."**_

_ ~*'Cause I've done everything I know*~_

"_**Max, just close your eyes and let your mind drift . . . "**_

_ ~*To try and make you mine*~_

"_**The memories are right there, just concentrate . . ."**_

_ ~*And I think I'm gonna love you*~  
~*For a long, long time*~_

Liz tried to pull back, to focus on healing Tess but Tess's memories were bombarding her as if her story needed to be told. And the worst thing about seeing Tess's life play out before her was that unlike how Max's memories started when he first emerged from the pod, it was like Tess's life didn't start until Nasedo found her "family" . . .

"_**No, I don't understand. I'm a girl from another planet. No family, no friends. Only 3 other people like me in the world. And the man I grew up with...the man who raised me...he was just murdered. You're right, Kyle. What would I know about needing peace of mind?"**_

_The damage _. . . Liz shuddered . . . _It was too much._ Tess's internal organs had been shredded by the boulder. Liz struggled to find enough to rebuild even as she felt herself weakening. Tess was losing blood rapidly . . .

"Stop!" Tess half-coughed, half-yelled, violently wrenching herself free of their connection. _"Stop"_ she said again weakly, faintly, a sob breaking free.

"Tess" Liz said softly, reaching forward.

"I never liked you, you know" Tess laughed and then coughed brokenly, red specks peppering her bottom lip.

Liz's hand fell slowly.

"Something to remember me by" Tess murmured as her hand made contact with Liz's chest.

Liz's scream rent the air a moment later . . .

~.~.~.~

Maria gasped as Michael blinked them out of the connection.

"Spaceboy?" she asked as her vision cleared.

"Yeah" Michael said as he fell back on his haunches and swayed before Alex caught him.

"Whoa there-" Alex started to say, but was silenced by the scream that sent a shiver of fear racing down his spine . . .

_Liz!_

~.~.~.~

One minute Max was searching the area for signs of Liz and Tess and the next they were simply _there_ . . . As if they had materialized out of thin air. Before his mind could even sort out what he was seeing though, Liz started to scream and his feet propelled him forward.

He wrenched Liz out of Tess's grip and Tess collapsed back against the boulder. Tess's gaze met his even as the light faded from her eyes.

_ ~*I think I'm gonna love you*~  
~*For a long, long time*~_

**tbc . . . **

_Music in this chapter by Linda Ronstadt "Long Long Time"_

_**A/A/N:**__ If you made it this far (I know this is a loooong fic) I'd love to know what you think . . . The good, the bad *and* the not so attractive. _

Thanks for reading!


	26. A Mind is a Terrible Thing

**_A/N: _**_Ok, so first of all I wanted to say thank you to _**_Charlie_**_ and_**_ barbarella-1980_**_ for leaving reviews for this story. You guys ROCK! _Seriously._ Now I haven't gotten a tremendous response to this story but as stated previously, I'm not really posting for the glory. These characters just really deserve resolution; especially after all I've put them through. Besides, I've put over 75,000 words into this fic so far, not to mention all the blood, sweat and tears behind the scenes, so it just seems like it would be downright negligent to leave this story unfinished. With that said, I have to admit that I have been occasionally peeking at the counters for this story (guilty pleasure :-) and every time I look they've gone up and that, well, that makes me almost as happy as reviews would. And every time I see the counters go up or that I have reviews, it makes me want to write faster and post sooner, if only to give everyone a reason to keep coming back. So thanks to everyone who's reading . . . Even all of you lurkers out there who just, well, lurk . . . :o) . . ._

_Anyway, just wanted to say that . . . Sorry for the long author's note . . . Onwards and upwards and all that :-)_

**Chapter 22: A Mind is a Terrible Thing**

"So what are you guys gonna have?" Maria asked, order book and pen poised.

"Is there even anything left that I haven't tried yet?" Kyle grumbled, flipping the menu over as if looking for new options on the back.

Maria smacked him with her order book and rolled her eyes over his "ow!"

"Will Smith burger and fries it is" she said as she wrote down his order as if he'd just recited it.

"But-" Kyle started till she held up the order book again threateningly.

"Nevermind" he muttered, defeated.

Maria turned to Alex expectantly. "Ahem" Alex cleared his throat and put the menu back in the stand carefully. "I'll have the same" he said, folding his hands on the table. "And uh, I totally have no problem with the menu" he added quickly.

"Ok, I'll be right back with your drinks" she said cheerfully as she walked away, ignoring Kyle's grumbled "Suck up" comment, aimed at Alex.

"Liz! Hey, how's it going?" Alex asked enthusiastically as she entered from the breakroom.

"It's going" she answered, giving them both a tired smile.

"Did you see Maria rough up Kyle? I could do a replay" Alex said eagerly, testing out the dessert menu as a substitute for Maria's order pad.

Liz laughed slightly before assuring him that that wasn't necessary. Kyle just glared at him.

"Well, if you change your mind, I'm here all week" he said grinning.

"What are you smiling about?" Isabel asked as she joined them at the table.

"Maria roughing up Kyle" Alex answered, smiling wider.

"Again?" she asked.

"Yup, must be Tuesday" Kyle muttered, flicking his menu with his finger.

The sound of many plastic glasses hitting the floor and bouncing wildly drew their eyes to Liz who had just knocked over a stack and was now crouching to pick them up. Alex had already left his chair to help and Michael, who had been leaning over the counter hassling Maria, started to make his way across the restaurant.

Liz stood quickly and held her hands out forcefully. Everyone was so sure she needed help nowadays. It was nerve-wracking and crazy-making.

"Stop. Just stop ok? I've got it. It's fine" Liz said tiredly.

Alex's brow crinkled then smoothed as he returned to the table and Michael turned back to the counter without speaking.

Liz 's expression filled with horror even as pain exploded like starbursts behind her eyes. Her vision blurred and she stumbled.

"Liz?" she heard as if in a tunnel.

_Not again_ she thought before the world flashed white.

"Liz!"

~.~.~

She woke up without pain, warm and wrapped securely in Max's arms.

She murmured his name, still floating in that in-between place of wakefulness and the nightmare she had just worked herself free of.

"Shh" he said softly. "It's ok. You're ok."

She stiffened, sitting up and Max let her go.

She took a moment to note that they were settled in a lawn chair on her rooftop before she focused on the ground in front of her. "It happened again, Max."

She turned to look back at him and he met her eyes squarely, no point in shying away from the truth now. "I know. I got the short version. But it's ok, everyone understands. We just need to practice-"

Liz stood up in agitation.

"-practice what Max? Practice using the mindwarping power that Tess gave me as her last act on earth? So I can **get used to **having a power that screws with people's minds? So that I can stop using it on my friends?!"

Max stood and reached for her. She stepped back.

_"What part of this is ok Max?"_

She crumbled and he pulled her close. Burying her face in his chest, she began to cry softly. "I don't want this power, I can't have this power. Why did she do this?"

"I don't know Liz. I'm sorry, shh, I'm so sorry" Max murmured into her hair, folding her in closer.

"I don't want it, I don't want it, _please_ . . . I don't want it" she sobbed brokenly.

At times she was her old self . . . just Liz Parker, living her life.

At times she even managed to forget the curse that was this power she now had.

Other times she was like this . . .

_Please, I don't want it . . ._

_~Fade~_

_Next part coming in a week or so . . . Feel free to let me know what you think ;o)_


	27. The Villain of this Piece

**_A/N:_**_ Ok, I apologize to those who have been waiting for an update to this story since last week. The past week was truly craptastic and I didn't post because I wanted to edit this part some more, however, I have family coming down tomorrow and no time (none!) so I figured I'd better post what I have or you all probably wouldn't see an update till after Christmas. And if I have to come back and edit later, then so be it._

_With that said, I once again want to say thank you to those who have left reviews, so thank you **barbarella-1980** and **80sUnLoveChild**. You rock so hard! Seriously. Anyway, here goes. It's a short part, but still, hope you all enjoy. Also Happy Holidays for those of you celebrating._

_"Everyone falls. Not everyone rises." – Maren Ord "Perfect"_

**Interlude V: The Villain of this Piece**

Tess had never thought much about her own death.

Unlike most, she actually had a memory of dying once before. She had seen it coming and she hadn't been able to do a damn thing to stop it. The pain, the fear, the _nothingness_ that came after . . . All of that sat right within reach if she cared to explore it . . .

But she didn't.

No, Tess didn't spend a lot of time thinking about her death at all.

The second time Tess died though, that was the one she figured would stick.

As she lay there bleeding out against a rock on the side of the road in the desert, it seemed beyond unfair that she had been taken out by a _human_ and, insult to injury, by _Liz Parker_.

Life couldn't get more cruel.

But when she was lying there broken and Liz could have easily left her to die, or better yet, finished her off, she didn't. Liz actually tried to help her . . . And that turned out to be the cruelest irony of all because while Liz was trying to heal her she saw . . . _everything_ . . .

And what she saw, _dear god_, it wasn't supposed to _be_ . . .

In the space of a heartbeat she felt love, heartbreak, pain, and loss so deep it made her breath catch even more painfully in her chest. These emotions weren't hers but they _felt_ like hers.

She got it then.

She understood it though she never had before, never _wanted_ to before. And it hurt worse than the pain that was currently coursing through and stealing her breath.

She knew what she had to do now.

She had never felt that humans were important. She tolerated them as a means to an end, but generally considered them toys and therefore disposable. But here she was at her weakest, without the strength to even _stand_ and Liz Parker wouldn't quit trying to help her.

A sob broke free even as she yanked herself out of the connection Liz had forged trying to save her. This injury was too extensive to be fixed, she _knew_ that. Dying out here in the desert? That was her fate. It had already happened once before in that other timeline. Liz wasn't there that time though.

It was ironic considering how much she had disliked Liz. Her chuckle strangled in her throat, quickly turning into a wet cough when she tried to tell Liz this.

Liz didn't get it. Probably wouldn't get it for a while, but from where Tess was sitting she could see the big picture. She could see the roles they were all supposed to play and the space that would be left with her gone. It was the kind of clarity one only gets when death is just a few heartbeats away. And she knew not to waste it as she pooled her meager resources to perform this last act.

She reached and Liz never even shied away.

After, Max came. He came and pulled Liz away but that was okay. Tess's job was finished here. One final breath, her heartbeat thumped a final time, then oblivion reached up for her and she simply _let go._

She had done her part.

_~Fade~_


	28. Service and Repair

**_A/N:_**_ Ok, so yes, I know it's been almost two weeks since my last update which totally throws off the momentum I had going with this story. And it's tragic because I can't even use the excuse of the holidays because yes, they were busy, but truth be told I just kinda hit a wall with the next part. Regardless, we are definitely in the home stretch with only 3 or 4 parts left. I actually hope to finish this one out by the end of January but we'll see how it goes. Here's a brief part while I get my act together. Hope you all enjoy . . ._

**Interlude VI: Service and Repair**

It had been another long day and Liz Parker once again found herself exhausted. Emotional rollercoaster had somehow become the norm and she found she couldn't remember a time when that wasn't true. She exhaled as she sank deeper into the sofa. She was just gonna close her eyes for a minute, then she'd get up.

"Hey Liz" Michael said as he flopped down next to her on the breakroom's sofa with a plate full of food.

She squinted one eye open suspiciously and returned a cautious "Michael."

He glanced at her before popping a fry in his mouth. "What?"

She sighed and opened both eyes. She was awake now. "Ok, I'll bite. Why are you eating in the breakroom instead of at the counter like you usually do? People are trying to sleep in here, you know?"

"Riiiight. It's packed out there and when said 'people' decide to sleep in the busiest location on the block they forfeit the right to complain about interruptions."

Liz sighed again as she sat up and swiped the pickle from his plate. "Uh huh. You know if the whole Crashdown Cook thing doesn't work out, you should try your hand at Law. I'm thinking you'd be good at it." Truth be told, the stairs had seemed like a lot of work when there was a sofa right here, not that she'd tell Michael that.

Michael grunted as he picked up half of the burger he'd "conveniently" cut in half and took a bite. After crunching the last of her stolen pickle, Liz settled back into the sofa and closed her eyes.

Michael's voice came again, interrupting before she could doze. "Hey."

Liz sighed and opened her eyes again.

"You alright?" he asked and concerned eyes met hers. Her expression softened.

"I'm doing ok Michael." He stared pointedly, munching on a fry and she backtracked. "I'm doing as ok as a person in this situation can."

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Not really, no."

Michael nodded then grunted "Good."

Liz's mouth fell open and she sat up quickly, smacking him in the shoulder harshly. Michael grinned as he continued eating, melted cheese and grilled onions practically dripping from his burger. "I was just kidding Liz, you know that." She settled back in her seat and Michael asked "How are the headaches? Have you been sleeping ok?"

Liz waved her hand vaguely. "I really am ok Michael. None of this is easy. Not sometimes seeing what's to come, not knowing how terribly it could have all turned out and not having this power of Tess's that I can't control that causes brain damage if a person gets it used on them too much. But Max helps with the nightmares and making sure no one's brain gets fried and all of you help with everything else. A girl couldn't have a better support system if she tried."

Michael smiled. "So, good talk?"

Liz smiled back. "Good talk."

Maria came bursting into the breakroom with a bin full of dishes and glared at both of them. "Really? You're both gonna just sit there relaxing while there's a packed Crashdown out there?"

Michael responded as she headed into the kitchen with the bin. "Jose's handling things on the grill and I'm on lunch break."

"And I've been off since 4." Liz tossed in, grabbing some fries from Michael's plate. "Agnes traded with me this morning, remember?" she said when Maria passed back through with a now-empty bin.

Maria glowered and pointed a rag at Liz even as the bell over the front door rang out, announcing new patrons. "You said you were gonna get some rest with that time."

"And I would be if _some_ people weren't interrupting" Liz said, tossing a pointed look at Michael even as she stole the other half of his burger from his plate.

"Hey!" Michael protested, even as he finished off the fries on the plate and passed it to Liz to catch any crumbs.

"Blah, blah, blah is all I'm hearing from both of you" Maria muttered, passing Liz a cherry coke and then heading back out into the bustling Crashdown.

"Well, back to work!" Michael said, standing and brushing crumbs off his clothes as he headed back into the kitchen.

Liz sipped her soda and looked down at the now empty plate she was holding. _How'd that happen?_

_~Fade~_


	29. Rest for the Weary

**_A/N: _**_Ok, so uh, that slump took a bit longer than expected to get over, huh? Sorry 'bout that everybody. I didn't forget about this story though and I can happily report that there are only like 4 parts left after this and that includes the epilogue. In the meantime, this part . . . It's...strange, is all I will say besides that I guess it explains why Liz is exhausted all the time . . . Her life is an emotional rollercoaster even in her sleep . . . Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this part. :-)_

_So here we go . . ._

_Life is but a dream. ~ Lewis Carroll_

**Chapter 23: Rest for the Weary**

_Kids chased each other around the playroom when Liz opened her eyes. She smiled, delighted, when she spotted a younger version of Maria and Alex having a familiar argument._

_"Al-ex, you have to stay within the lines!" Maria whined, trying to take the coloring book from him even as he frowned in concentration, tongue peeking out the side of his mouth as he hung onto it trying to finish his masterpiece._

_"Nuh uh. I'm a rebel!" Alex declared as he finished and held the coloring book up in triumph. The cow in the picture had been colored in purple crayon, and it now somehow had wings and, yep, there it was, the cow even wore a cape._

_Liz chuckled as Maria and Alex started wrestling over the book. Alex was shaking his head wildly and pulling for all he was worth, which, at his age, wasn't very much. He spotted Liz out of the corner of his eye and called out for assistance. "Lizzie, come help! Maria's trying to be the boss of me again!"_

_Liz grinned, feeling herself now in her little girl body as she ran over and tickled both of them till they let go. They collapsed in a heap, still giggling and pulled Liz down with them._

_Liz turned over and stared at the ceiling full of glow in the dark stars and planets, chuckles still escaping as giggles subsided._

_**Her head tilted, puzzled, as the room realigned itself into one with red-spattered walls. Something about it was familiar, but-**_

_**She gasped and sat up, terror blossoming so quick it felt like ice in her veins.**_

_From one blink to the next her limbs unlocked and her breathing slowed enough for her to hear Alex and Maria talking nearby._

_"Maria, how can I finish if you're hoarding the supplies?"_

_"Hmm, maybe you can use that pack of crayons you stole from me in 3rd grade" Maria said haughtily._

_Liz looked up tentatively and discovered she was in art class with Alex and Maria. Maria was angled so that she was curled protectively over the tubes of paint. She turned to Liz expectantly. "You remember right, Liz?"_

_Liz hid her grin. "Well it *was* the box with the 64 colors" she told Alex mock seriously._

_"And it had it's own sharpener!" Maria said accusingly, as if that made the offense worse. _

_Alex crossed his arms over his chest and muttered about people bringing up old stuff. _

_Liz just chuckled. She really, *really* loved her friends._

_**"You destroyed my mind! How could you do this to me?"**_

_She flinched and tripped into a backwards fall. She blinked and Alex stood over her, peering curiously._

_She shook her head, confused. "Sorry, what?"_

_"You were dreaming."_

_For a second she'd swear Alex's voice had echoed. _

_He sat down on her bed, looking eager. Maria settled on her other side. "Was it the one with the crazy Bedazzler? Did it attack Maria's trapper keeper again? Did she yell?" he asked gleefully._

_"Hey!" Maria said, reaching over Liz and pushing Alex sideways onto the floor._

_"It was her jeans with the flowers this time and she did a little" Liz replied, propping herself up on one elbow and chuckling._

_Alex didn't bother to sit up; he just lay there giggling as if he'd witnessed it firsthand._

_Maria clutched her trapper keeper to her chest protectively. "Why's it always attack my stuff, huh? Possessed Bedazzlers should be attacking everyone!"_

_Liz ran her hands through her hair and shook her head. "Yeah, I have got to stop eating so close to bedtime. My dreams are insane."_

_"Nuh uh" Alex said as he sat up. "You have the best dreams, ever!"_

_**Without warning she was on her knees, hand sunk into the wound in Maria's stomach, blood pulsing out around her fingers even as she tried to make it stop. So much blood . . . God, too much blood . . . **_

_The memory burned white hot and felt like an electric shock. She curled into herself and covered her ears. It hurt. God, why did it hurt to be here?_

_She could hear her name being called, but she just pressed her hands harder against her ears. She was sick of dreaming._

_The faint buzzing she had been hearing throughout her dream suddenly arranged itself into words. "...ax can't keep doing this Liz. You have to stop this."_

_Liz looked up at Evera, lowering her hands as she realized she was now seated on her balcony. Anguished, Liz met her eyes in wordless question._

_Evera looked back sharply. "Don't you have somewhere you're supposed to be?"_

_A scene flashed in Liz's mind and she inhaled sharply. A moment later she nodded numbly._

Liz woke up on Michael's couch sheltered in Max's arms. She inhaled deeply and just absorbed the comfort, the warmth, listening to the deep breaths Max took as he slept. Then she gently untangled herself and left the apartment quietly.

---

Liz had made it here, yet now she found herself afraid.

She drew in a shaky breath and let it out slowly as she took her final steps forward onto the ledge...

~Fade~

_Next chapter: How do you breathe?_


End file.
